Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Leopold Is Home, Valerius Will Be"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
17 total reviews
Comment from nelliesellie
Leopold is endangered by the new ideas of demon possession. His eyes are already full of the fervor. Thurston can only warn the man and advise caution. Demon possession was part the evolution of the church. Evolving science has brought common sense to this belief. Valerius may have brought one of their own under his wing. This child bears watching. She may have some very usual talents. Great work.
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Leopold is endangered by the new ideas of demon possession. His eyes are already full of the fervor. Thurston can only warn the man and advise caution. Demon possession was part the evolution of the church. Evolving science has brought common sense to this belief. Valerius may have brought one of their own under his wing. This child bears watching. She may have some very usual talents. Great work.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
Good chapter, Mikey. These always read well. Two small notes to consider:
But, your eyes tell me that the words mean something different to you than they would to me. -- Consider dropping comma here.
Do you mean it sir?" -- Comma after 'it'
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Good chapter, Mikey. These always read well. Two small notes to consider:
But, your eyes tell me that the words mean something different to you than they would to me. -- Consider dropping comma here.
Do you mean it sir?" -- Comma after 'it'
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Michael: This is a ten! Well written. Glad that you got a priestly friend for Trellita, Vallerius and Julia. Now Julia and the girl can be friends, maybe sing together. You have made some divine connections on this story...the battle begins and the light shines in your story. Expose the evil priest of darkness.
flylikeaneagle
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Michael: This is a ten! Well written. Glad that you got a priestly friend for Trellita, Vallerius and Julia. Now Julia and the girl can be friends, maybe sing together. You have made some divine connections on this story...the battle begins and the light shines in your story. Expose the evil priest of darkness.
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
Comment from Michaelk
I did not see that coming. Valarius is going to invite them into his home to live. But it's not his home, it's his father's, what will he say? I think he spoke out of turn here, and this may be cause for some trouble. And I would love to see father Thurston (that name makes me think of MR. Howell from Gilligan's Island) stand up to Leopold.
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I did not see that coming. Valarius is going to invite them into his home to live. But it's not his home, it's his father's, what will he say? I think he spoke out of turn here, and this may be cause for some trouble. And I would love to see father Thurston (that name makes me think of MR. Howell from Gilligan's Island) stand up to Leopold.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
Comment from CR Delport
I think some of these church people are more crazy than the people they accuse of being possessed. You show very well what type of caring person Valerius is. Quite curious to see Julia and the little girl together. Another well crafted chapter.
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I think some of these church people are more crazy than the people they accuse of being possessed. You show very well what type of caring person Valerius is. Quite curious to see Julia and the little girl together. Another well crafted chapter.
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Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
Comment from Sankey
Great chapter. Can see soooo much that is mikey and connected to what you do with your residents. Sorry mate you Americans really do over 'due' it with messing up spelling and grammar and so on ha. I love you mate. here is my list of pickups for today.
came to be the predomina(n)t(-e)
The(i)r(-e) safest place
considerably his sen(i)or.
our meals and we make d(o)(-ue).
I oput up a poem Louise did NOT want me to put up about Clingy Mums. I am sure you guys will relate being childless yourselves. But then are you? ha!
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Great chapter. Can see soooo much that is mikey and connected to what you do with your residents. Sorry mate you Americans really do over 'due' it with messing up spelling and grammar and so on ha. I love you mate. here is my list of pickups for today.
came to be the predomina(n)t(-e)
The(i)r(-e) safest place
considerably his sen(i)or.
our meals and we make d(o)(-ue).
I oput up a poem Louise did NOT want me to put up about Clingy Mums. I am sure you guys will relate being childless yourselves. But then are you? ha!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
The story is growing . This looks neater, but I don't know you improved it's looks. It reads, looks and feels Roman. You put in quality time in this here chapter. I read published books in the stores. this looks just as good or better. This is a promising novel and I see that you have 14 reviewers. That's excellent! I may get a total of nine or ten maximun. Obviously, you are doing something right or you would not have this many reviews that make it to the front page on the home page. Indeed, this is intriguing, a well thought out chapter tat any Literary Agent should pounce on. You got big time potential and I am not just saying that. I have seen you mature as a writer. It is obvious to me. It's difficult to recognized that your own skills have improved. Takes others to recognize it. It has an interesting growing plot that looks exceptional promising. Count your doubloon. do loco
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The story is growing . This looks neater, but I don't know you improved it's looks. It reads, looks and feels Roman. You put in quality time in this here chapter. I read published books in the stores. this looks just as good or better. This is a promising novel and I see that you have 14 reviewers. That's excellent! I may get a total of nine or ten maximun. Obviously, you are doing something right or you would not have this many reviews that make it to the front page on the home page. Indeed, this is intriguing, a well thought out chapter tat any Literary Agent should pounce on. You got big time potential and I am not just saying that. I have seen you mature as a writer. It is obvious to me. It's difficult to recognized that your own skills have improved. Takes others to recognize it. It has an interesting growing plot that looks exceptional promising. Count your doubloon. do loco
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
