Reviews from

Vision and Sound: Their Stories

Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Leopold Is Home, Valerius Will Be"
Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.

17 total reviews 
Comment from GracieAnn
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Mikey, this is a great pic of Martin Luther, not really from the Dark Ages, but I'll never tell. LOL. I recognize it from the classes that I took on theology. Stern looking fellow. You have captured the era's formal speech and attitude. Very well written, my friend. :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2014

Comment from faragon
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Things are progressing nicely in this chapter. This particular phase of their "soul life" is much longer than the previous ones...that is good as I feel alot needs to be explained and you are doing it well.

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2014

Comment from Darkhorse555
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really love mikey were this piece is going dear friend most enjoyable read as always very beautifully crafted excellent pen

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2014

Comment from robina1978
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This chapter has many characters, but your foot note helps. I like how you describe the relationship between mother and daughter. Lovely chapter again.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2014

Comment from Phyllis Stewart
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Nicely done. Helping them and being able to study Florentina along with Julia might help the good doctor too. Win-win. I sure hope Leopold doesn't succeed in killing eitehr of the girls, tho.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2014

Comment from nordicgirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Another stellar posting. I love the pace and in depth looks you are taking with this section. Don't be in a hurry. This is compelling professional writing. Bravo!!

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2014

Comment from Sasha
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I cannot begin to tell you how much I am enjoying this. You have such a marvelous imagination and ability to put it into words. I anxiously await the next chapter. Terrific work with this one.

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2014

Comment from gypsycaravan
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I am glad you've introduced someone close to Leopold who seems to have a little common sense. I hope he can be an ally to Valerius.
I love these lines---
Fervor is always more passionate than sense. It shouts loudly and is hard to ignore. Sense can be lost in the great din of righteousness.
Seems like some things never change. Good piece of work, again.

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2014

Comment from Jay Squires
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Progressing splendidly, Mikey (does that sound Bakersfieldian?)

Just a few concerns, suggestions and/or nits:

No one but her saw them. [No one but SHE saw them.]

The voluntary donations were hardly voluntary. [This sentence and the next are vague to me. I don't know exactly whether it was the donation or the cost of the burial that "funds" represent in the latter sentence.]

but looked to be considerably his senor. [his senior]

The shell is temporary. It is the soul that should concern us, it is eternal [A run on sentence. You need something other than a comma after "US". You can't have two complete sentences separated by a comma.

. I am happy to be here. Now I am not so sure. [Perhaps, "I WAS happy to be here..." to be more akin to "Now I am not so sure."]

Interesting concluding scene. Thurston seems to be on the side of reason and a foe to fanaticism. Now, I wonder how his meeting with Trellitia will further the plot. Velly In-terestink.




 Comment Written 16-Oct-2014

Comment from Nosha17
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I like the way the characters are interlinked, you bring about their connection so well in your writing. Hopefully, justice and righteousness will prevail over evil and fanaticism. Most enjoyable as always. Faye

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2014