Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Valerius and Lourdes Journey Home"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
16 total reviews
Comment from Michaelk
I liked this chapter. I can see Valerius learning lessons that he will use with Julia. I can also see him forming a strong opinion and even deep loathing for certain aspects of the church. This is building up to one very large confrontation. Hiding from soldiers may present a further complication as well. It also is a possibility for salvation. If Valerius is about to burn at the stake and the soldiers ride up and rescue him only to conscript him into service, that could be an interesting turns at the end, don't you think?
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I liked this chapter. I can see Valerius learning lessons that he will use with Julia. I can also see him forming a strong opinion and even deep loathing for certain aspects of the church. This is building up to one very large confrontation. Hiding from soldiers may present a further complication as well. It also is a possibility for salvation. If Valerius is about to burn at the stake and the soldiers ride up and rescue him only to conscript him into service, that could be an interesting turns at the end, don't you think?
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
This is flawless. I am transported completely to this tine period and this is so real. The way everyone speaks and reacts seems so true to the times. This is captivating. I can't wait for more!!
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This is flawless. I am transported completely to this tine period and this is so real. The way everyone speaks and reacts seems so true to the times. This is captivating. I can't wait for more!!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
Beautiful, beautiful chapter, Mikey. I found only one sentence I would change and that would be to take it out of the passive mood and make it active: "The sound of hooves pounding the ground were heard in the distance." Instead, consider: They heard the sound of hooves pounding the ground in the distance.
But, it's not enough to deprive you of the six you deserve.
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Beautiful, beautiful chapter, Mikey. I found only one sentence I would change and that would be to take it out of the passive mood and make it active: "The sound of hooves pounding the ground were heard in the distance." Instead, consider: They heard the sound of hooves pounding the ground in the distance.
But, it's not enough to deprive you of the six you deserve.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
Comment from seaglass
Wonder if this is childhood Schizophrenia or past life memories? How horrible would be those times when one must fear both the military and the church.
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Wonder if this is childhood Schizophrenia or past life memories? How horrible would be those times when one must fear both the military and the church.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
Comment from CR Delport
Something tells me that Valerius should get the little girl and Julia together. She might be better to help her than he is. I wonder what the soldiers wanted with him? Another great chapter.
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Something tells me that Valerius should get the little girl and Julia together. She might be better to help her than he is. I wonder what the soldiers wanted with him? Another great chapter.
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Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, this chapter has taken on a suspenseful feel and intrigue. The new character adds to the others nicely. Good discussion on what demon possession looks like. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
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Mikey, this chapter has taken on a suspenseful feel and intrigue. The new character adds to the others nicely. Good discussion on what demon possession looks like. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
