Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Valerius Begins His Practice"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
19 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I hope she can get thru to Julia that others see only the present world and not past lives. It's a great plotline to give Julia this gift... wish I had thought of it. :)
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I hope she can get thru to Julia that others see only the present world and not past lives. It's a great plotline to give Julia this gift... wish I had thought of it. :)
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, you successfully present the great difficulty that the two reincarnates, as it were, are faced with. This is well written appropriate to the times before the Dark Ages. I do wonder if people are sometimes inhabited by disembodied spirits. The children of the Nephilim, as mentioned in Genesis and Angels that left their first estate in the context of sexual impurity in the book of Jude, are progeny of Fallen angels and human women. I also believe that some are evil and others are less so. Well done, my friend. :0 GracieAnn
FYI "
The Nephilim /Ë?nÉ?fɨË?lɪm/ (Hebrew: × ×¤×?×?×?×?â??) were offspring of the "sons of God" and the "daughters of men" before the Deluge according to Genesis 6:4; the name is also used in reference to giants who inhabited Canaan at the time of the Israelite conquest of Canaan according to Numbers 13:33.
Nephilim - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Mikey, you successfully present the great difficulty that the two reincarnates, as it were, are faced with. This is well written appropriate to the times before the Dark Ages. I do wonder if people are sometimes inhabited by disembodied spirits. The children of the Nephilim, as mentioned in Genesis and Angels that left their first estate in the context of sexual impurity in the book of Jude, are progeny of Fallen angels and human women. I also believe that some are evil and others are less so. Well done, my friend. :0 GracieAnn
FYI "
The Nephilim /Ë?nÉ?fɨË?lɪm/ (Hebrew: × ×¤×?×?×?×?â??) were offspring of the "sons of God" and the "daughters of men" before the Deluge according to Genesis 6:4; the name is also used in reference to giants who inhabited Canaan at the time of the Israelite conquest of Canaan according to Numbers 13:33.
Nephilim - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
I can't see you receiving many suggestions. This story is at a whole other level from other stuff I've read of yours. Feel like I'm there. Only one tiny note to consider:
It was a fair distance from the great city of Constantinople to the small village that he called home -- No need for 'that'. Saves a word. Sounds crazy, but every word counts.
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I can't see you receiving many suggestions. This story is at a whole other level from other stuff I've read of yours. Feel like I'm there. Only one tiny note to consider:
It was a fair distance from the great city of Constantinople to the small village that he called home -- No need for 'that'. Saves a word. Sounds crazy, but every word counts.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
You are clearly in your confort zone and it shows. The characters continue to develop and the story does too. The little side stories serve to nake this so true to life. No rush. Do it your way, I'm on board!!
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You are clearly in your confort zone and it shows. The characters continue to develop and the story does too. The little side stories serve to nake this so true to life. No rush. Do it your way, I'm on board!!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Michael: A ten, oops, maybe Tom will give us tens for longer stories like yours! I like how you weave the stories and how Valerius is fitting into the doctor mode so quickly.
Trelitia is amazing, I am sure that she is happy to have new friends to mentor instead of kids to tease. Well done!
flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
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Michael: A ten, oops, maybe Tom will give us tens for longer stories like yours! I like how you weave the stories and how Valerius is fitting into the doctor mode so quickly.
Trelitia is amazing, I am sure that she is happy to have new friends to mentor instead of kids to tease. Well done!
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 11-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
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So pleased that you are enjoying this. Great encouraging words AND you gave me a great idea for part of the story TOOOOOO!! Thank you, mikey
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I try to mentor the youth, encourage and inspire. I am learning from masters like you and your friends on FS. I am taking the poetry class from Brooke starting Monday. I have ten books that I am reading that she will be highlighting in the class. Feel like I'm jumping hurdles.
Note, the Catholics used holy water to cast out demons, they would speak the demons out like Jesus did. You don't have to kill them like sacrifices. I like your characters. Glad that I inspired you Michael.
flylikeaneagle
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Brooke is the greatest. It isn't easy to write wonderful little pieces like the ones she writes. I try all the time. Yep, you gave me a great idea. :))
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good chapter you have penned. I didn't find anything wrong with it and nothing to change. great job and great dialog. hugs, teri
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This is a very good chapter you have penned. I didn't find anything wrong with it and nothing to change. great job and great dialog. hugs, teri
Comment Written 11-Oct-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
The author notes clarifies dark matter. Helps a lot. I would have no problem jumping into the middle of a novel if I had this list to guide me. You are developing the characters. Developing their personality and traits connected to them. This seems methodical, well thought out. The language back then is probably not an easy task to grip, unless you actually lived back then. You are slowly painting pictures with prose. That's some primitive tools. Good choice in picture. Your grammar looks good. Reader friendly. I speculate, you ar feeling a little more comfortable as you go. Good focus. Nice chapter. do loco
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
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The author notes clarifies dark matter. Helps a lot. I would have no problem jumping into the middle of a novel if I had this list to guide me. You are developing the characters. Developing their personality and traits connected to them. This seems methodical, well thought out. The language back then is probably not an easy task to grip, unless you actually lived back then. You are slowly painting pictures with prose. That's some primitive tools. Good choice in picture. Your grammar looks good. Reader friendly. I speculate, you ar feeling a little more comfortable as you go. Good focus. Nice chapter. do loco
Comment Written 11-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
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I'll try to include that list then if you think it adds to it. It's funny, I made the medical stuff up and then looked for the tools picture. JEEZZZ! Let me die, Doc. Hahaha. I like the story myself so I'm in no hurry. Glad you liked it. Great encouraging comments. Big confidence booster. Gracias do loco. miguel
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Looks tight to me Mikey. You are getting the feel of that time. Maybe if you watched a film about that era, could give you more insight about that time. But we don't have a clue. We were not born then. I think you are on the right path. You seem to choose your words carefully. A lot of thought went into the prose. Cheers...
Comment from Jay Squires
Mikey, while I didn't note them, you appear to use "that" instead of "who" throughout, when dealing with animate objects.>> Those that received injuries [Those WHO received injuries.]
Thank you, Mikey, for including a List of Characters. That is helpful.
Another excellent chapter, friend.
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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
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Mikey, while I didn't note them, you appear to use "that" instead of "who" throughout, when dealing with animate objects.>> Those that received injuries [Those WHO received injuries.]
Thank you, Mikey, for including a List of Characters. That is helpful.
Another excellent chapter, friend.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
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I'll go in and look for "that" right away. Maybe some kind of electric shock would cure me. Thanks for pointing it out. I'm putting it on a post it to check right before I post! Delighted you're enjoying other than that. You've been very helpful. mikey
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Do you use find/replace on word? I use that just to get rid of all the unnecessary "thats" I use in my novel.
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I'll have to figure out how to use it again. I was using it for "was" and "I" two of my favorites! I will try and remember to do that.
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It didn't take long to start editing! Once I found a "that" to fix, I found all kinds of things to fix along with it. I just need to get into editing mode BEFORE I post. :)
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It's usually on the upper right hand part of the screen. Click on find. It will open a box where you put the word or sentence in and it will look for exact duplicates of it. I don't use the replace function. I just make the change and go on to the next.
Comment from seaglass
This is more great development of Valerius' character and personality. Those instruments look a bit scary, especially the ones that look like sheep shearers. If a doctor came at me with that I would recover quickly and run.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is more great development of Valerius' character and personality. Those instruments look a bit scary, especially the ones that look like sheep shearers. If a doctor came at me with that I would recover quickly and run.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2014
