Dark Covenant
Viewing comments for Prologue "Dark Covenant"The Berwick Witches Series: Book One
41 total reviews
Comment from royowen
What an evil lot Corina, Hollie and co, are, I love your well told story i Amahra, although she has managed to build a wall of invulnerability around herself. I wonder if the other covenant witches have the ability to defeat her! well written Amahra, good riveting stuff, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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What an evil lot Corina, Hollie and co, are, I love your well told story i Amahra, although she has managed to build a wall of invulnerability around herself. I wonder if the other covenant witches have the ability to defeat her! well written Amahra, good riveting stuff, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Thank you, roy. It's going be a battle for sure, but there are some other things going on in New Berwick. Hope you stay tuned.
Comment from Mastery
Hello, my friend. This promises to be a very successful project if the writing continues the way you have it going. It's superb writing, but you have always been an excellent writer.
One suggestion if I may: early on in the prologue, you have:
"full of decaying trees and slimy mud that covered the carcasses of animals like a foul-smelling blanket." I suggest you try this: ( Decaying trees and slimy mud covered the carcasses of animals like a foul-smelling blanket.)
Great job, amahra. Bob
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Hello, my friend. This promises to be a very successful project if the writing continues the way you have it going. It's superb writing, but you have always been an excellent writer.
One suggestion if I may: early on in the prologue, you have:
"full of decaying trees and slimy mud that covered the carcasses of animals like a foul-smelling blanket." I suggest you try this: ( Decaying trees and slimy mud covered the carcasses of animals like a foul-smelling blanket.)
Great job, amahra. Bob
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Hey, Bob I missed you. Thank you for stopping by and reviewing. I'm so glad you liked it. I'll read over it and see if I catch your meaning. How is the new crime book coming?
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If you are talking about Fatal Beauty ....It will be released on Feb 26, 2015. My new one? I have two and a half chapters done...got to get back to it. been so busy getting things ready for Feb. Nice hearing from you, my friend. Bob
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That's great, Bob. "Glass Cat Eye" is coming out also. I'm having it professionally edited and my son knows an artist who does fantasy book covers. The book is a novellet, only 21,000 words; decided to make it available for kindle.
God bless us both, Smile.
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I am fortunate in having Dean Kuch do my cover. Yes, Good Luck. Who is your agent/or/publisher? Just curious. Bob
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No agent. Don't want to go that route. I'm doing an ebook, so after it leaves the editor, I will self-publish. And my son is paying a graphic designer for my cover.
Comment from drivenbackward
This is clearly very well thought out. It was also difficult for me to find errors. So, nice writing quality. Personally, I despise Prologues. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. But that's just me. And this is delivered well.
so that Corina was -- Check spacing between 'that' and 'Corina'
mini transparent -- Needs hyphen
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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This is clearly very well thought out. It was also difficult for me to find errors. So, nice writing quality. Personally, I despise Prologues. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. But that's just me. And this is delivered well.
so that Corina was -- Check spacing between 'that' and 'Corina'
mini transparent -- Needs hyphen
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Thank you,I'll make the corrections. Glad you liked it. I don't like them either, but tried weaving it into the story but it's just too much info. It slowed down the story.
Comment from onebrit
A long read and an excellent read. There is a long tradition of second sight, wise women, herb lore and spell casting among Scottish Highlanders, but I think was medieval knowledge. It's a well written piece and I can't wait to read more.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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A long read and an excellent read. There is a long tradition of second sight, wise women, herb lore and spell casting among Scottish Highlanders, but I think was medieval knowledge. It's a well written piece and I can't wait to read more.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Thank you. I hope you like the story.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, amahra, I am not usually a fan of supernatural genre, but you have piqued my interest with this prologue and it promises to be a well told story
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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this is an excellent write, amahra, I am not usually a fan of supernatural genre, but you have piqued my interest with this prologue and it promises to be a well told story
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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thank you, sweetwoodjax.
Comment from c_lucas
Evil can never stand up to good, but it can reap havoc to those in the middle. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good luck in your new endeavor.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Evil can never stand up to good, but it can reap havoc to those in the middle. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good luck in your new endeavor.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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thanks, Charlie.
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You're welcome Amahra. Charlie
Comment from seaglass
This story of witches caught my interest. It's well written and descriptive, lending to the reader's own imagination.
It seems that Corina and her followers live forever. This confused me a bit as for a while they were in the cemetery of departed witches, suggesting that some do die.
I'm sure with modern gadgetry and electronics, she will render quite a bit of damage on the present century.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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This story of witches caught my interest. It's well written and descriptive, lending to the reader's own imagination.
It seems that Corina and her followers live forever. This confused me a bit as for a while they were in the cemetery of departed witches, suggesting that some do die.
I'm sure with modern gadgetry and electronics, she will render quite a bit of damage on the present century.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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No, they were banished and ran off to a cemetery world. The witches are not human. When they do die, they live in a different realm for undead witches.
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I see, thanks for explaining.
Comment from Jay Squires
I love your story, Ama, the intrigue, the fantasy of it. But, I don't think you spent enough time editing it. I hated to doc you a star, but I have to be consistent with all the other reviews I do. Most of your errors are spelling. I indicated the corrections. As soon as you let me know the corrections have been made, I'll happily return your star.
I think this will be a really good novel.
Below are the SPAGs:
breeze like a pair of firey red eyes. [pair of FIERY red eyes.]
and a dark fork tongue slid [a dark FORKED tongue]
She never stopped running until she'd reached home. [running until SHE reached home.]
Corina stumble along sideways, but looked defiantly [Corina STUMBLED along...]
supernatural power from obsorbing all the magic [from ABSORBING...]
so that Corina was confind within her fortress; [Corina was CONFINED...]
lower extrimities fused with the mortar [lower extremities...]
hissing snake. "Patients, my darlings. Patients." ["Patience, my darlings. Patience."]
Don't forget to contact me after you've made the corrections. I'll return your purloined star, LOL.
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Here you go, Ama. Thanks for the loan of it, LOL.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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I love your story, Ama, the intrigue, the fantasy of it. But, I don't think you spent enough time editing it. I hated to doc you a star, but I have to be consistent with all the other reviews I do. Most of your errors are spelling. I indicated the corrections. As soon as you let me know the corrections have been made, I'll happily return your star.
I think this will be a really good novel.
Below are the SPAGs:
breeze like a pair of firey red eyes. [pair of FIERY red eyes.]
and a dark fork tongue slid [a dark FORKED tongue]
She never stopped running until she'd reached home. [running until SHE reached home.]
Corina stumble along sideways, but looked defiantly [Corina STUMBLED along...]
supernatural power from obsorbing all the magic [from ABSORBING...]
so that Corina was confind within her fortress; [Corina was CONFINED...]
lower extrimities fused with the mortar [lower extremities...]
hissing snake. "Patients, my darlings. Patients." ["Patience, my darlings. Patience."]
Don't forget to contact me after you've made the corrections. I'll return your purloined star, LOL.
***********************************************************
Here you go, Ama. Thanks for the loan of it, LOL.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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I'm sorry, Jay, I forgot to turn the darn thing on. I don't have to do that with my Word program, it shows mistakes automatically. I made the corrections and again, I'm sorry. Thanks a lot, Jay.
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Oh, my goodness, Ama, you don't owe me an apology. I'll take care of the returned star. The content of your writing is always sterling. That's why I almost feel apologetic docking a star for SPAG.
Comment from Benjohnsonjr
A really well written and chilling story. I look forward to ore from your pen. One little error: "firey" is spelt fiery. Other than that an enjoyable engaging read.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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A really well written and chilling story. I look forward to ore from your pen. One little error: "firey" is spelt fiery. Other than that an enjoyable engaging read.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Benjohnsonjr. I made the correction.
Comment from slapiz
You left me on the honey on the lips. Witches has been a recurring theme in American history. Up there Bruges Day in November. These women condemned to the stake or unwholesome as punishment ... They did not stay still and thought your story was out there ..... I will continue reading
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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You left me on the honey on the lips. Witches has been a recurring theme in American history. Up there Bruges Day in November. These women condemned to the stake or unwholesome as punishment ... They did not stay still and thought your story was out there ..... I will continue reading
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, slapiz.
