Tender Tears
Minute Poem entry91 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This is a very tender and moving poem, Steve. Many will identify with it from experiences in their own lives with little children My very best wishes with your flawless minute poem. Giddy
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
  |
This is a very tender and moving poem, Steve. Many will identify with it from experiences in their own lives with little children My very best wishes with your flawless minute poem. Giddy
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
-
Thanks, Giddy.
Steve
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Steve,
A child's tears can see so many things adults don't think they do. Sad eyes, heavy hearts, and they don't know what to do or who to tell. So sadly true.
Excellent job.
The best of luck in the contest
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
|
Hi Steve,
A child's tears can see so many things adults don't think they do. Sad eyes, heavy hearts, and they don't know what to do or who to tell. So sadly true.
Excellent job.
The best of luck in the contest
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
-
Thanks, Jax.
Steve
Comment from mauial
What hurt so deep
can make you weep?
Somehow that doesn't sound like a question to me. Maybe
what hurts so deep
that makes you weep?
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
|
What hurt so deep
can make you weep?
Somehow that doesn't sound like a question to me. Maybe
what hurts so deep
that makes you weep?
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
-
Thanks for reviewing.
I think the trick is to see 'hurt' as a noun, not a verb...
Steve
Comment from krys123
Steve;
a very well written Minute poem Which is enjoyable to read with well rhyming words that are neither forced to nor labored in a rhythm that has tempo and beats to a rhythm that flows smoothly throughout the writing.
The imagery is very descriptive and expertly expressive as you described, especially in your last line a child's fearful residents of his emotions; "My child, I read in your eyes; 'tis no surprise. The tears I see, you weep for me."
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and good luck in the contest because this is a formidable writing Entry.
Alex
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
|
Steve;
a very well written Minute poem Which is enjoyable to read with well rhyming words that are neither forced to nor labored in a rhythm that has tempo and beats to a rhythm that flows smoothly throughout the writing.
The imagery is very descriptive and expertly expressive as you described, especially in your last line a child's fearful residents of his emotions; "My child, I read in your eyes; 'tis no surprise. The tears I see, you weep for me."
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and good luck in the contest because this is a formidable writing Entry.
Alex
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
-
Thanks, Alex.
Steve
-
You are so sincerely welcome, Steve.
Alex
Comment from Spitfire
The more I read of these, the more I get the hang of it.
In stanza one, I personally felt the last line would be smoother if written "to make you weep". One can build a whole story or several from the last line. Is the speaker a dying parent or an abused partner perhaps. Good one.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
|
The more I read of these, the more I get the hang of it.
In stanza one, I personally felt the last line would be smoother if written "to make you weep". One can build a whole story or several from the last line. Is the speaker a dying parent or an abused partner perhaps. Good one.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
-
Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Trybuck
This is about the first sad minute poem I can remember reading. Excellent writing, perfect rhyming. Well done with your entry, Buck
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
|
This is about the first sad minute poem I can remember reading. Excellent writing, perfect rhyming. Well done with your entry, Buck
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
-
Thanks, Buck.
Steve
Comment from Glasstruth
Very emotional. Children shouldn't have to bear the burden of whatever. Yet, I'm left in the dark as to what happened here. Nice rhyming throughout. Thanks for sharing. Les
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
|
Very emotional. Children shouldn't have to bear the burden of whatever. Yet, I'm left in the dark as to what happened here. Nice rhyming throughout. Thanks for sharing. Les
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
-
Thanks, les.
Yes, I've left a lot of readers wondering why the child is weeping...
Steve
Comment from w.j.debi
This is so smooth. It took me a second read to realize it was a minute poem because it flows so smoothly. Sometime a minute poem can sound a bit jerky with the way it laid out. Not this one. Excellent enjambment and smooth transitions. Very well done!
This has such a tender message. A tear in a child's eye is concerning. To know she cries for you...how touching.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
|
This is so smooth. It took me a second read to realize it was a minute poem because it flows so smoothly. Sometime a minute poem can sound a bit jerky with the way it laid out. Not this one. Excellent enjambment and smooth transitions. Very well done!
This has such a tender message. A tear in a child's eye is concerning. To know she cries for you...how touching.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
-
Thank you - yes, the 8/4/4/4 scheme does tend to make these jerky - glad you found this not to be the case here.
Steve
Comment from Sasha
This is a lovely, yet sad, poem and a terrific entry for this contest. A child's tears, especially your own child, are hard to see and can break a parent's heart. Beautifully written. I wish you all the best in the contest too.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
|
This is a lovely, yet sad, poem and a terrific entry for this contest. A child's tears, especially your own child, are hard to see and can break a parent's heart. Beautifully written. I wish you all the best in the contest too.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
-
Thank you!
Steve
Comment from jackpeg
Sad and lovely at the same time--truly fits the accompanying photo. I hope it is found sufficiently up-lifting to get you a prize in the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
|
Sad and lovely at the same time--truly fits the accompanying photo. I hope it is found sufficiently up-lifting to get you a prize in the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
-
That's me - sad and lovely!
Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
-
Sad and lovely!" Would it make you happy if you were ugly?
