Tender Tears
Minute Poem entry91 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
Maybe the final stanza is a literary move to pique the reader. No problem. The format is like other announced minute poems I have seen. The wording is fine.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Maybe the final stanza is a literary move to pique the reader. No problem. The format is like other announced minute poems I have seen. The wording is fine.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thank you.
Steve
Comment from Drew Delaney
Very touching poem, steve. It actually is heart-rendering to watch your children covered with a tear-stained face. Really good and an awesome contest entry. Best wishes!
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Very touching poem, steve. It actually is heart-rendering to watch your children covered with a tear-stained face. Really good and an awesome contest entry. Best wishes!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Drew!
Steve
Comment from Dawny53
Your title is compelling.. drew me right in.. as did the photograph. Your ending has me curious to know what it is you suffer from that causes her to weep? Or is it some secret revealed?
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Your title is compelling.. drew me right in.. as did the photograph. Your ending has me curious to know what it is you suffer from that causes her to weep? Or is it some secret revealed?
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Dawn.
Another piece here the reader has to draw her on conclusions....
Steve
Comment from Karen B.
There's nothing worse than the tears of an innocent child paired with a look of hurt in their eyes. Your poem reflects that very effectively. Well written with perfect rhyme and rhythm.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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There's nothing worse than the tears of an innocent child paired with a look of hurt in their eyes. Your poem reflects that very effectively. Well written with perfect rhyme and rhythm.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thanks, karen.
Steve
Comment from Caressa_08
The tender tears of a child, & so very young to realize what such a world of woe is out there, & to see it in or through another person, as in your poem, doesn't surprise me, as a lot of children are so much wiser, than adults ever give them credit for, & what they see with their eyes, or perceive..Thanks for sharing, it was a good read & Best Wishes.
Caressa
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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The tender tears of a child, & so very young to realize what such a world of woe is out there, & to see it in or through another person, as in your poem, doesn't surprise me, as a lot of children are so much wiser, than adults ever give them credit for, & what they see with their eyes, or perceive..Thanks for sharing, it was a good read & Best Wishes.
Caressa
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Caressa.
Several reviewers have made the same observation.
Steve
Comment from Dom G Robles
Excellent in rhyme and rhythm. It flowed freely. The tone is moving and deep. Its structure is strong. Everything alright,
Also, the picture supplements fully the theme of the poem. Congratulations. Dom
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Excellent in rhyme and rhythm. It flowed freely. The tone is moving and deep. Its structure is strong. Everything alright,
Also, the picture supplements fully the theme of the poem. Congratulations. Dom
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Dom, thanks for the generous review.
Steve
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Kiwi, you are very welcome. Dom
Comment from TKField
This is a bit subjective, and enigmatic and obscure, but the emotion comes through clearly. Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world, alright. You weep for me is the enigmatic part. Why does the kid weep for you? Wassup?
Know woe, face trace, Deep, weep, tears years, eyes surprise, see me. Wow, rhymes to boot on top of all the angst. Who could ask for more? I nominate this the bummer poem of the day. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a head in the oven. Good luck.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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This is a bit subjective, and enigmatic and obscure, but the emotion comes through clearly. Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world, alright. You weep for me is the enigmatic part. Why does the kid weep for you? Wassup?
Know woe, face trace, Deep, weep, tears years, eyes surprise, see me. Wow, rhymes to boot on top of all the angst. Who could ask for more? I nominate this the bummer poem of the day. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a head in the oven. Good luck.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thank you! That is if you managed to pull your head out of the oven on time.
I'm feeling fine, but my poetry is a little on the weepy side lately!
Steve
Comment from acerisestory
This is a well-written poem with a surprising sad message in the last two lines, Steve.
Your rhyming is perfect, and you've made wonderful use of alliteration to increase the flow of your words. Your meter is also very well done.
Good luck in the contest. I think it's a strong contender. Take care. Alana
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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This is a well-written poem with a surprising sad message in the last two lines, Steve.
Your rhyming is perfect, and you've made wonderful use of alliteration to increase the flow of your words. Your meter is also very well done.
Good luck in the contest. I think it's a strong contender. Take care. Alana
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Alana, thanks for the kind words.
I had been struggling with the ending all night and this came to me as soon as I got into bed and turned out the light.
Steve
Comment from drivenbackward
Good stuff, Kiwi. I try my best to hide what's going on from my son. Does this pertain to a child of yours and what that child knows about the world today and its dangers?
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Good stuff, Kiwi. I try my best to hide what's going on from my son. Does this pertain to a child of yours and what that child knows about the world today and its dangers?
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thank you.
No my children are well out into the dangerous world. Just a piece of imagination.
Steve
Comment from Dave Russell
This reminded me so much of the divorce that we went through when my son was barely ten. He was cut so deeply during that time. This is a strong contender for the contest I am sure.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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This reminded me so much of the divorce that we went through when my son was barely ten. He was cut so deeply during that time. This is a strong contender for the contest I am sure.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Dave. Yes, it is open to interpretations such as yours. Kids can be fragile but also surprisingly resilient.
Steve
