Catching Moonbeams
Short Story22 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, tfawcus, I enjoyed reading it even though it took me a while to get it, I love how he thought the moonshine was moonbeams.....
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
  |
this is very well written, tfawcus, I enjoyed reading it even though it took me a while to get it, I love how he thought the moonshine was moonbeams.....
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
-
Thank you very much for your supportive and encouraging review, sweetwoodjax.
Comment from Loren (7)
Beautiful prose, great story to the point of mesmerizing in your choice of words and scenes and characters you've created here. Probably can tell I really liked this. Sorry I'm out of sixes to give this what it deserves. Found your niche here for sure! Loren
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
|
Beautiful prose, great story to the point of mesmerizing in your choice of words and scenes and characters you've created here. Probably can tell I really liked this. Sorry I'm out of sixes to give this what it deserves. Found your niche here for sure! Loren
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
-
What a lovely review, Loren. Thank you so much!
Comment from humpwhistle
This is a story I'd like to have written. I find deep feelings here--but you let me find them without pointing them out. That's what make me feel respected by the author. You let me participate. I notice that Brooke already mentioned your verb choices. I'm in total agreement. Lazy verbs make for lazy stories.
Your story has heart, wisdom and whimsy.
You have something special here.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
 |
This is a story I'd like to have written. I find deep feelings here--but you let me find them without pointing them out. That's what make me feel respected by the author. You let me participate. I notice that Brooke already mentioned your verb choices. I'm in total agreement. Lazy verbs make for lazy stories.
Your story has heart, wisdom and whimsy.
You have something special here.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
-
Thanks very much for this most encouraging review and sixth star, Lee.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
A very interesting story about an young boy and an old man and how they crossed paths. One thing that always shocks me is that the Police always seem to jump to conclusions and expect the worse scenario when the subjects are truly innocent. Well Smudge learned how to catch moonbeams and some peace of mind that he wasn't so alone. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
|
A very interesting story about an young boy and an old man and how they crossed paths. One thing that always shocks me is that the Police always seem to jump to conclusions and expect the worse scenario when the subjects are truly innocent. Well Smudge learned how to catch moonbeams and some peace of mind that he wasn't so alone. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
-
Many thanks for your close reading and supportive review, Nancy. People do sometimes leap to conclusions based on little or no hard evidence.
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
This story caught the vagabond in me. I think the 'moonbeams' are an excellent metaphor of the two lost people--two fugitives, one old and beaten down, one young needing just that companionship--a soul mate. The boy, bum, bag, the beams of light, the bottle of moonshine, all resonate in one romantic, mystical vision, a combination of childhood wonder, adult skepticism, and the world in between. Exceptional story for me, and I fully enjoyed it. Kenny
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
|
This story caught the vagabond in me. I think the 'moonbeams' are an excellent metaphor of the two lost people--two fugitives, one old and beaten down, one young needing just that companionship--a soul mate. The boy, bum, bag, the beams of light, the bottle of moonshine, all resonate in one romantic, mystical vision, a combination of childhood wonder, adult skepticism, and the world in between. Exceptional story for me, and I fully enjoyed it. Kenny
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
-
Thanks for this supportive and thoughtful review, Kenny. I appreciate it.
Comment from Erik McGinley
Really good.
I had a sort of a friend at school that was sometimes called Smudge.
Maybe he thought like that.
He was an asshole really, though I always hoped he would change. He wasn't a stupid person. Just immature.
Time changes people. I hope he became what I thought he could be. Or better maybe.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
|
Really good.
I had a sort of a friend at school that was sometimes called Smudge.
Maybe he thought like that.
He was an asshole really, though I always hoped he would change. He wasn't a stupid person. Just immature.
Time changes people. I hope he became what I thought he could be. Or better maybe.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
-
I hope he became what you thought he could, too. It's a pity when people don't become what they are capable of. Thanks for the review, the six stars and the video clip.
Comment from adewpearl
I like the narrative style of your story, which makes it sound like a folk tale/myth
Excellent character development
strong verb choices
I love the idea of the boy's watching the old tramp as he catches moonbeams
wonderful use of dialogue
What a touching story, and so well written
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
|
I like the narrative style of your story, which makes it sound like a folk tale/myth
Excellent character development
strong verb choices
I love the idea of the boy's watching the old tramp as he catches moonbeams
wonderful use of dialogue
What a touching story, and so well written
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
-
Thank you very much for this supportive review, Brooke, and for the six stars. I've been sitting on this one for years!
Comment from Ben Colder
Had I six stars it would be yours for this excellent write. Your characters are real and the gossip is even better. Amazing how people jump to the wrong impression. Well done. Enjoyed it much
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
|
Had I six stars it would be yours for this excellent write. Your characters are real and the gossip is even better. Amazing how people jump to the wrong impression. Well done. Enjoyed it much
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
-
Many thanks for this supportive review, Ben. It means a lot to me.
Comment from royowen
What a lovely, imaginative story this was Tony, I enjoyed it from beginning to end! You established the characters early, they were defined and believable, the peripherals also! The plot was well designed and composed, beautifully tinged with sadness, compassion and prejudice! I couldn't defect any obvious errors, the storyline imaginative absorbing, I really enjoyed it! Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
|
What a lovely, imaginative story this was Tony, I enjoyed it from beginning to end! You established the characters early, they were defined and believable, the peripherals also! The plot was well designed and composed, beautifully tinged with sadness, compassion and prejudice! I couldn't defect any obvious errors, the storyline imaginative absorbing, I really enjoyed it! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
-
Many thanks for this supportive review, Roy. It means a lot to me.
Comment from Cindy Warren
People just don't listen to someone like Wolfgang or Smudge. I don't know who I feel most sorry for, the old man or the kid. I just hope that if Smudge catches his moonbeams, he won't drink them.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
|
People just don't listen to someone like Wolfgang or Smudge. I don't know who I feel most sorry for, the old man or the kid. I just hope that if Smudge catches his moonbeams, he won't drink them.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014
-
Thanks, Cindy, for this lovely review.
