The Animal Doctor
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "The Other Woman"Love Among the Thorns
26 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, amahra, I've missed reading about nate so I'm glad you posted this. I am a little miffed that he gave in to his baser instincts though, lol
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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this is very well written, amahra, I've missed reading about nate so I'm glad you posted this. I am a little miffed that he gave in to his baser instincts though, lol
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Yeah, well, can't have a story without a conflict. LOL. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. But you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter. I'm writing chapter 21 now. Thank you so much for sticking with the book.
Comment from Cian Mateo
I'm not familiar with this storyline, but this chapter grabbed my attention from the very beginning.
Great characters, with strong narration and dialogue.
I plan to go back and read some of the previous chapters, while looking forward to your next post.
Nicely written.
Cian
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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I'm not familiar with this storyline, but this chapter grabbed my attention from the very beginning.
Great characters, with strong narration and dialogue.
I plan to go back and read some of the previous chapters, while looking forward to your next post.
Nicely written.
Cian
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Thank you Cian. appreciate you taking the time.
Comment from artisart4u
This is a good one for television.
The way you told what led up to this point is very good.
All I can say is, somebody is in trouble (smile).
Good luck with your story.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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This is a good one for television.
The way you told what led up to this point is very good.
All I can say is, somebody is in trouble (smile).
Good luck with your story.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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thank you very much.
Comment from brentman99
While I haven't read any other parts of your story, it flows well and the dialogue is well done. I like the flow of the plot and had no trouble getting interested in it.
I did notice some spelling/grammar issues. I have some suggestions that you can use or ignore as you see fit:
How the hell did I let this happen(.)
He just lay there(,) staring up at the ceiling(,) regretting and loving every moment he had spent with Margaret.
The next morning(,) Nathan skipped breakfast
I'll have Netty (delete extra space) get her for you
overstuff(ed) sofa
(delete extra ")After a bit of small-talk,
"No thank you(.) (I)t's a bit too early in the day for me."
Wainwright(')s home (possessive)
- try - She grabbed his arm(, pulling) him off balance.
I'm not risking (losing) Grace
"I'm going to tell Grace everything (and )pray to God she'll forgive me."
Oh, (H)oney,
two more weeks(,) anyway
Buckingham (P)alace
It's been hard for me(,) too,
(E)arth
(c)hampagne
Overall, a good effort. When I have time, I may try to go and look at some of the earlier chapters. Thanks for sharing, Brent.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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While I haven't read any other parts of your story, it flows well and the dialogue is well done. I like the flow of the plot and had no trouble getting interested in it.
I did notice some spelling/grammar issues. I have some suggestions that you can use or ignore as you see fit:
How the hell did I let this happen(.)
He just lay there(,) staring up at the ceiling(,) regretting and loving every moment he had spent with Margaret.
The next morning(,) Nathan skipped breakfast
I'll have Netty (delete extra space) get her for you
overstuff(ed) sofa
(delete extra ")After a bit of small-talk,
"No thank you(.) (I)t's a bit too early in the day for me."
Wainwright(')s home (possessive)
- try - She grabbed his arm(, pulling) him off balance.
I'm not risking (losing) Grace
"I'm going to tell Grace everything (and )pray to God she'll forgive me."
Oh, (H)oney,
two more weeks(,) anyway
Buckingham (P)alace
It's been hard for me(,) too,
(E)arth
(c)hampagne
Overall, a good effort. When I have time, I may try to go and look at some of the earlier chapters. Thanks for sharing, Brent.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much for taking the time to point out corrections. I really appreciate. I'll go back and make some corrections. Bless you.
Comment from lindalcreel
Margaret is a witch and Nate would do well to stand clear of her. This just goes to show that most men don't think with their heads. He had everything with Grace and the baby. I wonder if Margaret is really worth losing them. I love it when I can really hate one of the characters in a story and you've made me not like Margaret at all.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Margaret is a witch and Nate would do well to stand clear of her. This just goes to show that most men don't think with their heads. He had everything with Grace and the baby. I wonder if Margaret is really worth losing them. I love it when I can really hate one of the characters in a story and you've made me not like Margaret at all.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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LOL, thank you lindalcreel. Not just for the six stars but for having a reaction to Margaret. This is a new one for me. Most hate Nathan. One of my fans did call her a bitch but didn't say she hated her. Smile.
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If she would have stayed away, then maybe Nathan would be do the right thing.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. You capture this era so well. I like the bits that include horses and old medicine:-) The danger of cheating, always good for a tale. But, yours feels new and fresh, I enjoy reading these.padumachitta
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Hi. You capture this era so well. I like the bits that include horses and old medicine:-) The danger of cheating, always good for a tale. But, yours feels new and fresh, I enjoy reading these.padumachitta
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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thank you so much for reading.
Comment from Jay Squires
After reading your Author Notes, I can say if anyone did forget Nathan Daniels, this chapter will assuredly jog their memory.
Incidentally, I think the picture you chose is of F. Scott Fitzgerald. Or, possibly John Barrymore, the actor.
Please understand my job as reviewer here at FanStory requires my being consistent with all writers. Therefore, I had to follow my guidelines of three or more SPAG requiring a one star deduction. However, if you let me know the corrections are made I'd love to return the star to you. Okay?
He just laid there staring up at the ceiling [The past tense is LAY]
Grace had notice Nathan moping [had noticed...]
put everyone in the house whole [put everyone in the household]
A well-written, sumptuous love making scene. Especially the final transitional sentence: "The ice in the Champaign bucket melted and the candles went out."
************************************************************
Here, Ama, catch!
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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After reading your Author Notes, I can say if anyone did forget Nathan Daniels, this chapter will assuredly jog their memory.
Incidentally, I think the picture you chose is of F. Scott Fitzgerald. Or, possibly John Barrymore, the actor.
Please understand my job as reviewer here at FanStory requires my being consistent with all writers. Therefore, I had to follow my guidelines of three or more SPAG requiring a one star deduction. However, if you let me know the corrections are made I'd love to return the star to you. Okay?
He just laid there staring up at the ceiling [The past tense is LAY]
Grace had notice Nathan moping [had noticed...]
put everyone in the house whole [put everyone in the household]
A well-written, sumptuous love making scene. Especially the final transitional sentence: "The ice in the Champaign bucket melted and the candles went out."
************************************************************
Here, Ama, catch!
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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thanks Jay I'll make corrections. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from bob cullen
You write well, I didn't want this to end. The characters are real, the conflict strong and the dialogue appropriate.
Your love scenes are old fashioned, I like that. Sadly they don't sell as well as the graphic description in books like fifty shades of grey.
I will look forward to your next posting
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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You write well, I didn't want this to end. The characters are real, the conflict strong and the dialogue appropriate.
Your love scenes are old fashioned, I like that. Sadly they don't sell as well as the graphic description in books like fifty shades of grey.
I will look forward to your next posting
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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thank you bob. I'm so glad you liked it.
Comment from GWinterwin
A very good chapter to your book. Good story to keep the reader interested, and excited. Realistic and yet very exciting, keeps the reader wanting for more.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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A very good chapter to your book. Good story to keep the reader interested, and excited. Realistic and yet very exciting, keeps the reader wanting for more.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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thank you very much.
Comment from CHIGYSISKI
Why do I know this is not going to end well? It never does.He needs to make up his mind and ensure they are never alone if he is serious. Poor Grace. Nicely written. No SPAGs noted. well done.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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Why do I know this is not going to end well? It never does.He needs to make up his mind and ensure they are never alone if he is serious. Poor Grace. Nicely written. No SPAGs noted. well done.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
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thank you so much.
