Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Thankfully she had a good pimp who watched out for her. But why such a bizarre escape word... she almost forgot it. LOL! I'm glad the John got what he had coming. :)

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Lol. True that. Thanks for the great review.

Comment from joann r romei

Excellent

I had to read this twice before I understood what was going on, very different and original for Fan story, no errors and good luck.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thanks for taking the time to read it (twice) and thanks for the great review.

Comment from amahra

Excellent

Wow you went above and beyond the contest. I thought this was very creative and you used all the prompts for your entry. What a great and well written piece.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thank you so much for taking the time, it is much appreciated.

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, derived better, a little raunchy but not overly so, I enjoyed reading this one and I wish you the best of luck in the contest....

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

A little raunchy ain't bad, lol. Thank you for your time and great comments.

Comment from pafaust

Excellent

You've done a fine job telling a story that's easy to visualize in so few words. Who would have thought that Queen could be so inspirational? I didn't see that one of the rules was to incorporate all of the song titles into the story, your ability to do that was very impressive.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Wow, thanks for the great review. It is much appreciated.

Comment from Jay Leeward

Excellent

Most folks picks one of the prompts and go with it. Now and again, someone will cleverly work two prompts into the tale. You got greedy and managed to work all of them in, as well as Queen -- and pulled it off with a very readable story!

Tight, authentic dialogue and solid tension to the end, with a hint of dark humor. Excellent work, as well as enjoyable. Thank you for the fun.

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Jay, thanks for the great review. It's nice to hear form someone who writes so well.

Comment from José Ángel


 

Excellent

A curious text, but interesting. It's for competition and is very creative otherwise (in the time I've been here writing, reading and commenting is the first time I read a contest of these characteristics). My congratulations for your work and of course, wish you success in the contest. A hug from Chile

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Jose, Thanks for the great review!

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Well DB, you have certainly covered your ass here, lol,you have successfully and cleverly included every name in your wonderfully funny story, good luck in the contest my friend.

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

CYOA, that's what they say. Thanks for the great review!

reply by Eric1 on 30-Aug-2014

You are very welcome, have a nice weekend my friend.

Comment from Spiritual Echo

Excellent

Wow! You didn't just choose one, you used every title and wove them through your story seamlessly, without obvious attention.

Very impressive response to this prompt.

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thank you tremendously for taking the time to read and review!

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi DerivedBetter

Well done, you've managed to put all the titles of Queen's songs in and make a coherent story from them.

Good luck in the competition.

Patrick

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thanks for taking the time to read, and thank you for the great review.