Comment from Susanjohn

Excellent

I am LOVING these poems!!! I own a tutoring business in town and work with special needs/challenges etc... I am the dyslexia tutor , and I hoard children's books!!! Love these story poems! In fact, Rupert and my daughter would have gotten along very well! lol trouble maker kids! :-) very new here...so it will take some time to read all your work.

 Comment Written 19-May-2016

---

reply by the author on 23-May-2016

Thanks again, Susan.

Of course you don't have to read all my portfolio - not even I would want to do that!

However, if you think Rupert is a trouble-maker, then you should definitely meet Cheezel the Weasel - he has his own 'book' on my portfolio too.

Steve

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Exceptional

Ha ... I loved it!

I could just imagine reading this to my grandsons and how delighted they would be with such a poem.

Fantastic alliteration! Good internal rhyming with roisterous/boisterous. I'm sure that kids would just giggle to hear "Gobbledegooks" "hubbub, hoo-ha and fizz".

Sure got a smile out of me! :)

Great job, Steve!

Connie

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thanks a bunch, Connie!

I've been finding out who all the children 'of a certain age' are on FanStory. By all means read it to as many grandchildren as you can round up.

I am keen to find a publisher for this and its earlier companion piece, Gobbledegooks. Can you imagine what a really quirky illustrator could do with all the visual opportunities here?

Steve

reply by bichonfrisegirl on 31-Aug-2014

That would be great if you could find a publisher for it, Steve. Simply terrific writes! No kidding ... an illustrator could have a field day with it!

Connie

Comment from emrpoems

Excellent

Solid rhyming couplets.
fantastic use of alliteration
effective enjambment. A lovely poem for children and I enjoyed reading especially with the use of dialect

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thanks for the generous review - appreciated.

Steve

Comment from Page 3

Excellent

There were some terrific poems here. I choose yours because i think the language you use is the vernacular of the classic style I grew up with. I think the kings, queens, scullery-maids, castles - grand or dingy still appeal to young people.
The ending is perfect. Go where you are loved and safe. Well done Page 3

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thank you for the great review.

You are not the only one to say they preferred traditional style - are we showing our age?

Steve

reply by Page 3 on 01-Sep-2014

Not when they predate us by centuries. We understand and recognise Timeless. The votes indicated it!

Comment from gypsycaravan

Excellent

Very cute and clever. I love all the sing-song words. What a fun piece to read aloud to a group of small children. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from humpwhistle

Exceptional

Scullery Maid of the Year--now there's an honor!

Do I detect a little bawdy innuendo? Something
extracurricular going on between the good prince and
the comely Hilda? I thought this was a children's poem.

Great use of sounds and made words. Or words with which I'm unfamiliar, anyway.

I enjoyed this a lot.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

You are the only reviewer to detect that - my subtlety or just your dirty mind?

I did think of making them at least friends, but the verses fell into place as they are with everybody's honour safe for now.

A few made words, but my favourite is tatterdemalion, a good, honest English word which Webster says has been around for 400 years or so - vastly under-used if you ask me.

Thanks for the kind words and the six stars!

Cold and rainy old day here for the supposed last day of winter. Last of the firewood is on the fire as I write this and winter looks like hanging on for at least a few more days.

Would have been a good day for a long lie-in and some lazy FS time, but there was a knock on the door at 4.30am from a distressed young man who needed his car pulled out of the ditch - country living for you!

Steve

reply by humpwhistle on 30-Aug-2014

Probably my dirty mind. Of which I am quite proud. But you, Steve, put the wiggle in Hilda's walk which gave it all away. It's good to be Rupert.

Winter? When are you guys going to switch over to the real calendar? Anything to be contrary, is that it?

Life would make so much more sense it if was all America. Who could argue?

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Everybody who drives on the correct side of the road and speaks proper English I should imagine.

Judging by the despairing tones of a few recent posts, who would want to be America? Come join us instead.... most unlikely to be slaughtered at school, shot down in the street or sent off to fight madmen on foreign soil ... and it will be spring tomorrow.

Second good deed for the day - rescuing twin baby calves somehow separated from Mum. I deserve the rest of the day off - AND to win the contest!

Steve

reply by humpwhistle on 30-Aug-2014

Shit! You sound downright un-American!
Oh, wait.

Actually, you make a good point. I believe I asked if you have a spare room last year. You turned me down. Don't expect me to crawling back now. Humph!

Comment from James Dooney

Excellent

I am sure the children would definitely be smiling upon reading this. Very well done here ! I hope you do well in the contest !

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

James, thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from tdragonfly

Excellent

Very cute. Nice and refreshing to read an old fashion fair tale. One that is not filled with all of the science fiction of today. One that reminds me of times gone by.
It was an easy read and one that kids would enjoy. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thank you! Some of the old ways are still the best.

Steve

Comment from w.j.debi

Exceptional

This is totally adorable. The rhymes are fun and the rhythm jauntily carries the story forward. This would be fun to read to one child or a small group of children. It would make a great picture book. I certainly enjoyed it. Looks like time to borrow a nephew or niece so I can read to them.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thanks so much for the generous review and the six stars.

Yes, I would love to find a really quirky and original illustrator - can you imagine what they could do with this. There is a sort of companion piece earlier in my portfolio which is crying out for similar treatment.

Know any friendly publishers??

Steve

reply by w.j.debi on 30-Aug-2014

If only I knew a friendly publisher I wouldn't have my unpublished novels sitting around wondering what will become of them.

I attended a writers' conference and was told that many children's publishers have their own preferred artists and they like to get the story without illustrations and then assign one of their artist to work with the author. I haven't really checked it out so I don't know if it was just that publisher who was at the conference or not. Sorry, I don't remember that publisher 's name.

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

Thanks for that - I suspected that would be the case (about illustrators). If I keep asking who knows a publisher, I'll eventually find one or else I will take the scary step of sending stuff off unsolicited.

Steve

reply by w.j.debi on 30-Aug-2014

Well, best of luck. Just be sure you advertise so I know when to buy it. :)

Comment from janalma

Exceptional

Very, very cute and I don't know how you do it. What a wonderful scattering of clattery language. Lol. This is a great one for kids. I know my grandson, Jeremiah, would really get a kick out of it. I'll have to remember to read it to him when next he comes over. You should submit it for publication. Would make a neat kids book with illustrations.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2014

I think you mean a clattering of scattery language! :O)

Feel free to try it our on as many grand-children as you have available - my only one is too far away, alas.

Thanks for the great review and the six stars.

Yes, I would love to find a really quirky and original illustrator and get this published - can you imagine what they could do with this. There is a sort of companion piece earlier in my portfolio which is crying out for similar treatment.

Know any friendly publishers??

Steve