From out of the Grayness
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Infinity"Reaching from the gray areas to understand life
20 total reviews
Comment from giovannimariatommaso
And how fortunate you were & are! Wonderful, for this poem speaks to everyone and truly gives a ounce of inspiration and a whole lot of meaning to those who are swirling in the cesspools of cochleae attempting to hear all the muddle and the jargon and the interpretations of interpretations of interpretations instead of seeing the simplicity of it all.
I didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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And how fortunate you were & are! Wonderful, for this poem speaks to everyone and truly gives a ounce of inspiration and a whole lot of meaning to those who are swirling in the cesspools of cochleae attempting to hear all the muddle and the jargon and the interpretations of interpretations of interpretations instead of seeing the simplicity of it all.
I didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Giovanni: thank you so much for this wonderful and very thoughtful review! I'M deeply grateful for your time and your insight. Glad to meet you and hope to see you often! Vance
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Y/W GMT
Comment from Nosha17
I guess you had a mind-blowing episode where your life was spinning around you. But, you recognised that God would play a part in your future, so faith was important. Well chosen words and imagery to convey your message. Enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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I guess you had a mind-blowing episode where your life was spinning around you. But, you recognised that God would play a part in your future, so faith was important. Well chosen words and imagery to convey your message. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Dear Faye...that's exactly what happened! Mind blowing or as I call it... a mind=dump...so I did not format the text in the smooth and gentle typical poetic style. Thanks so much for you great review! Vance
Comment from tbacha58
Ah yes, pleading for my pen and determined to write it all down in every language known and dissolving it all smoothly and gently, with pure love into the awesome radiant ink of infinity.
You can do it Vance, to pass through what is preoccupying your mind, reach out for your everyday ink, and write, you will have a lot of support. I wish you all the very best Vance, please get well very soon. Bless u Terry xoxo
My stars always remember , are shinning above you, no matter what. Love Terry xoxo
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Ah yes, pleading for my pen and determined to write it all down in every language known and dissolving it all smoothly and gently, with pure love into the awesome radiant ink of infinity.
You can do it Vance, to pass through what is preoccupying your mind, reach out for your everyday ink, and write, you will have a lot of support. I wish you all the very best Vance, please get well very soon. Bless u Terry xoxo
My stars always remember , are shinning above you, no matter what. Love Terry xoxo
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Thank you dearest Terry! Your words and thoughts are always very precious to me. I truly appreciate your wonderful encouragement and kind remarks...love and hugs! Vance
Comment from adewpearl
excellent alliteration in promise of a prayer, glowing gate, pleading for my pen
I like the decision not to make line breaks because it emphasizes how these thoughts are all just spilling out without a pause
soulful expression of very intense emotion
Brooke
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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excellent alliteration in promise of a prayer, glowing gate, pleading for my pen
I like the decision not to make line breaks because it emphasizes how these thoughts are all just spilling out without a pause
soulful expression of very intense emotion
Brooke
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Dear Brooke: my sincere thanks for your meaningful review. I did get a couple reviews asking why I just "dumped' It all out instead of formatting the text as typical poetry. But YOU my friend DID INDEED get the idea and I'm not surprised! So many thanks for your always excellent reviews and advice. Vance
Comment from lalajovanoski
Extremely well written piece. I was able to easily relate to the message the author is executing. I really enjoyed reading it. Very relatable. Well done!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Extremely well written piece. I was able to easily relate to the message the author is executing. I really enjoyed reading it. Very relatable. Well done!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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dear lalajovanoski..so nice to meet you and thanks so much for your kind review. I hope to see you often! Vance
Comment from Ricky1024
'M Sir Greyness...
Bro been there and as you I wait and know but...
The glow,the gate,the message as I wait this naught...
...
For people ,intellectuals,philosophers as you and as of me realize are purpose to write and educate and fight with ALL,of OUR MIGHT!!!
...
'Re Good Fight!!!.
Thanks for being more human then a human being...
24..
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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'M Sir Greyness...
Bro been there and as you I wait and know but...
The glow,the gate,the message as I wait this naught...
...
For people ,intellectuals,philosophers as you and as of me realize are purpose to write and educate and fight with ALL,of OUR MIGHT!!!
...
'Re Good Fight!!!.
Thanks for being more human then a human being...
24..
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Dear Ricky: what a delightful and encouraging review! Also such a treat and honor to receive your gracious six stars! So many thanks for that and your very kind remarks as it is always a real pleasure to hear from you: Vance
Comment from rama devi
WOW--I love this, my friend, as my muse shares similar moods. Love the references to light and radiance and other spiritual higher octaves. I am not sure this works as well being delivered as a prose paragraph as it might be being formatted more like a free verse poem, which would allow you to 'sculpt cadences' and highlight certain lines.
As we're friends, I am going to take the liberty to offer you an example edit, based on my personal interpretation of your poem (of course, you must feel free to use the same line breaks and punctuation if they resonate with your vision of the poem--or to conjure different ones--or to leave it as a paragraph-style stanza).
Infinity:
The destination where nothing matters
but light, inspiration, faith, and calm sleep
with stunning consciousness
and explosive gratitude upon awakening.
I went there,
thrashing, spinning, kicking, screaming,
fighting my commitment to die
or to understand in the end....
why am I and why am I here?
I swim daily
in a muddy pool of intellectual indigestion,
committed to the promise of a prayer
to find my way to the brilliantly glowing gate
of super consciousness, shaking hands with GOD
and taking my seat in the classroom of eternity.
Ah yes, I plead for my pen,
determined to write it all down
in every language known
and to dissolve it all
smoothly and gently,
with pure love,
into the awesome,
radiant
ink of infinity.
If you wish to keep it as a prose style, I've just a couple of spag suggestions:
* I went there, thrashing, spinning, kicking, screaming, (and) fighting my commitment to die or to understand in the end....why am I and why am I here?, (NO COMMA after ?)
*Swimming (I SWIM) daily in a muddy pool of intellectual indigestion, committed to the promise of a prayer to find my way to the brilliantly glowing gate of super consciousness(,) shaking hands with GOD and taking my seat in the classroom of eternity.
Ah yes, pleading(I PLEAD) for my pen(,) and(DELETE AND) determined to write it all down in every language known and (TO DISSOLVE) dissolving it all smoothly and gently, with pure love(,) into the awesome(,) radiant ink of infinity.
Love this. Read it four times!
Almost a six but for the spag nits--and , IMHO, the ineffective formatting style (but the rating is not for that).
Warmly, rd
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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WOW--I love this, my friend, as my muse shares similar moods. Love the references to light and radiance and other spiritual higher octaves. I am not sure this works as well being delivered as a prose paragraph as it might be being formatted more like a free verse poem, which would allow you to 'sculpt cadences' and highlight certain lines.
As we're friends, I am going to take the liberty to offer you an example edit, based on my personal interpretation of your poem (of course, you must feel free to use the same line breaks and punctuation if they resonate with your vision of the poem--or to conjure different ones--or to leave it as a paragraph-style stanza).
Infinity:
The destination where nothing matters
but light, inspiration, faith, and calm sleep
with stunning consciousness
and explosive gratitude upon awakening.
I went there,
thrashing, spinning, kicking, screaming,
fighting my commitment to die
or to understand in the end....
why am I and why am I here?
I swim daily
in a muddy pool of intellectual indigestion,
committed to the promise of a prayer
to find my way to the brilliantly glowing gate
of super consciousness, shaking hands with GOD
and taking my seat in the classroom of eternity.
Ah yes, I plead for my pen,
determined to write it all down
in every language known
and to dissolve it all
smoothly and gently,
with pure love,
into the awesome,
radiant
ink of infinity.
If you wish to keep it as a prose style, I've just a couple of spag suggestions:
* I went there, thrashing, spinning, kicking, screaming, (and) fighting my commitment to die or to understand in the end....why am I and why am I here?, (NO COMMA after ?)
*Swimming (I SWIM) daily in a muddy pool of intellectual indigestion, committed to the promise of a prayer to find my way to the brilliantly glowing gate of super consciousness(,) shaking hands with GOD and taking my seat in the classroom of eternity.
Ah yes, pleading(I PLEAD) for my pen(,) and(DELETE AND) determined to write it all down in every language known and (TO DISSOLVE) dissolving it all smoothly and gently, with pure love(,) into the awesome(,) radiant ink of infinity.
Love this. Read it four times!
Almost a six but for the spag nits--and , IMHO, the ineffective formatting style (but the rating is not for that).
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Dear rd: Thank you so much sincerely for the wonderful thoughts and suggestions you have made here. You are truly brilliant as this and I do appreciate your feedback. I intentionally 'DUMPED" this as I called it a "minddump" to give the vision that it all just came out like rocks from a dump truck. A few reviewers got that but I'm sure I would get more reads if I formatted it as you suggested. Now it's too late to re-post but thanks for your great review and remarks. Blessings dear friend! Vance
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Thanks for your gracious response to my review, dear Vance. Yes, i understood that it came out that way in an intense flow...and I also think it is worthwhile to return to it, when and if you feel inclined, to sculpt and shape it more precisely (for the sake of readers) as it is a beautiful work and vision. I am certain there is no rule against revising and editing your post. Never too late! Warm Smiles and Blessings, rd
Comment from royowen
Great write here Vance, it's true that there is very little in this life, except the love that one enjoys from God, family and very close friends and brethren, there is nothing outside of God, that either makes sense or reason! Meaningful work here Vance, I love you sharing and courageously making a public stand for God, well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Great write here Vance, it's true that there is very little in this life, except the love that one enjoys from God, family and very close friends and brethren, there is nothing outside of God, that either makes sense or reason! Meaningful work here Vance, I love you sharing and courageously making a public stand for God, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Dear Roy; what a delightful and encouraging review from you my friend, and thanks so much for your insightful commentary. No matter what...it all comes back to GOD and there is never too much energy or gratitude in reaching, praying, and being blessed so many thanks again and many blessings dear friend! Your six stars are deeply appreciated! Vance
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Amen! And you're welcome Vance, blessings,Roy.
Comment from tfawcus
A fine piece of stream-of-consciousness writing. The urgency, impelling you to infinity at the speed of light adds a wonderful dimension. We are all looking for that radiant ink you talk about! Some of my favourite Neruda poems are of this type - particularly his descriptions of fire and of words.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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A fine piece of stream-of-consciousness writing. The urgency, impelling you to infinity at the speed of light adds a wonderful dimension. We are all looking for that radiant ink you talk about! Some of my favourite Neruda poems are of this type - particularly his descriptions of fire and of words.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Dear Tony: I'm so hopeful that some truly "radiant" ink will find its way through my heart to my spirit to my mind, and to my pen one day. Thanks so much for your great review! Vance
Comment from Glasstruth
Infinity, we all want to know. What's our role? In this case, like how you chose not to break this up into stanzas. Reads well. very spontaneous. A mind dump it is, but an excellent one! Les
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Infinity, we all want to know. What's our role? In this case, like how you chose not to break this up into stanzas. Reads well. very spontaneous. A mind dump it is, but an excellent one! Les
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2014
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Les: you are very perceptive in realizing why there were no stanzas..but I'm not surprised as you don't miss much. Thanks so much for the great review...always love to hear from you! Vance
