A Dapper Crow of Blackest Coat
My time's run out...108 total reviews
Comment from RGstar
Good presentation.
you have used internal rhyming with long syllable rhymes, mostly double.
The storyline is textbook and has the grace needed to fill your thesis as the writer you are.
Great layout as usual. Another good one.
Best wishes,
RGstar
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Good presentation.
you have used internal rhyming with long syllable rhymes, mostly double.
The storyline is textbook and has the grace needed to fill your thesis as the writer you are.
Great layout as usual. Another good one.
Best wishes,
RGstar
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from Drew Delaney
This is so awesome Dean. You are my star. I am not into scary, frightening genres, but you are leading me astray, I'm afraid. LOL
How do you manage to put artwork in the middle or after parts? Pray tell!
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This is so awesome Dean. You are my star. I am not into scary, frightening genres, but you are leading me astray, I'm afraid. LOL
How do you manage to put artwork in the middle or after parts? Pray tell!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from sgalletti
Dean - You are absolutely brilliant with the presentation of your pieces. I am so impressed with the embedded artwork and the transitional phrases. What a fun tale of the dapper crow. The poem flowed effortlessly with great imagery and a sense of fun despite your demise. Well done. I also you appreciate the kudos to those who helped you polish the piece up. Sue
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Dean - You are absolutely brilliant with the presentation of your pieces. I am so impressed with the embedded artwork and the transitional phrases. What a fun tale of the dapper crow. The poem flowed effortlessly with great imagery and a sense of fun despite your demise. Well done. I also you appreciate the kudos to those who helped you polish the piece up. Sue
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from nancyjam
Excellent poem in "Poe" style. Terrific rhyme and internal rhyme along
with strong meter and vivid imagery.
Even though it chills, it also entertains, and the poetic talent needed to pull
this off is undeniable.
Well deserving of a six. Edgar would be proud.
Nancy
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Excellent poem in "Poe" style. Terrific rhyme and internal rhyme along
with strong meter and vivid imagery.
Even though it chills, it also entertains, and the poetic talent needed to pull
this off is undeniable.
Well deserving of a six. Edgar would be proud.
Nancy
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from pipersfancy
Wow, Dean... this is a show-stopper! I've read it through twice... the effect was just as terrifying on the second pass! Are you channeling a bit of Poe here?! In some ways, reminiscent of 'The Raven', although, truth be told, yours told a more compelling tale in my opinion.
I loved the opening lines... Imagine to my great surprise (my imagination automatically inserted Rod Serling's voice, there...)
Wonderful rhyme scheme and meter... I'm gushing... can't say enough about this skillful piece!
I tend to fall in with the camp who intuitively feel these wise creatures are connected to the otherworld... Funny you should write and post this today - I awoke to my regular Sunday morning local radio program, "The Gardener, with Dorothy Doby"... and wouldn't you know, she had dedicated the first hour to a discussion on crows and ravens... had experts on talking about them, had people calling in to share their stories... (I've been listening to this program for 10 years every Sunday... She has never dedicated a show to any specific creature before, but discusses more topics specific to gardening!)
My own specific raven encounter (one of...) that still gives me goosebumps was from several years back when my kids were quite young, and they were not yet with me full time. (Don't know if you knew this, but my kids were abducted by their father and I had minimal contact for about 8 years.) So - here I was, working in Northern Mb. and a raven took to me and followed me around the community for the week - people were amazed because no one had seen a raven for several months in the area. It would follow me to and from the school, sitting on fence posts and signs just ahead of me... sometimes on the ground, always staring so intently at me, and cackling as I would get close. It also would perch in the trees and on the fence surrounding the house I was staying in, so EVERY TIME I looked out any window... the raven was there, watching me. (Got to be a little disconcerting...) Well, I got home from that trip on a Friday, and on the Sunday that followed - I received a phone call from my youngest boy who was in grade 1 at the time. He had sneaked into a closet in the house with a cordless phone, and called me. We only managed to speak a few minutes - but he told me about the most magnificent dream he had had several times that week... about being held captive in an ice castle, and the only friend he had to speak with was an enormous magical raven who would come in through his open window, then turn into a fairy queen and tell him stories of children living in an icy world where they went to school using sled dogs... My kids had no idea what my work was or where I worked until several years after that incident.
I will pray that your dream raven was more a messenger from another realm, than any sort of harbinger of doom, my friend.
Christina
(sorry for the lengthy rant... you captured my imagination with this)
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Wow, Dean... this is a show-stopper! I've read it through twice... the effect was just as terrifying on the second pass! Are you channeling a bit of Poe here?! In some ways, reminiscent of 'The Raven', although, truth be told, yours told a more compelling tale in my opinion.
I loved the opening lines... Imagine to my great surprise (my imagination automatically inserted Rod Serling's voice, there...)
Wonderful rhyme scheme and meter... I'm gushing... can't say enough about this skillful piece!
I tend to fall in with the camp who intuitively feel these wise creatures are connected to the otherworld... Funny you should write and post this today - I awoke to my regular Sunday morning local radio program, "The Gardener, with Dorothy Doby"... and wouldn't you know, she had dedicated the first hour to a discussion on crows and ravens... had experts on talking about them, had people calling in to share their stories... (I've been listening to this program for 10 years every Sunday... She has never dedicated a show to any specific creature before, but discusses more topics specific to gardening!)
My own specific raven encounter (one of...) that still gives me goosebumps was from several years back when my kids were quite young, and they were not yet with me full time. (Don't know if you knew this, but my kids were abducted by their father and I had minimal contact for about 8 years.) So - here I was, working in Northern Mb. and a raven took to me and followed me around the community for the week - people were amazed because no one had seen a raven for several months in the area. It would follow me to and from the school, sitting on fence posts and signs just ahead of me... sometimes on the ground, always staring so intently at me, and cackling as I would get close. It also would perch in the trees and on the fence surrounding the house I was staying in, so EVERY TIME I looked out any window... the raven was there, watching me. (Got to be a little disconcerting...) Well, I got home from that trip on a Friday, and on the Sunday that followed - I received a phone call from my youngest boy who was in grade 1 at the time. He had sneaked into a closet in the house with a cordless phone, and called me. We only managed to speak a few minutes - but he told me about the most magnificent dream he had had several times that week... about being held captive in an ice castle, and the only friend he had to speak with was an enormous magical raven who would come in through his open window, then turn into a fairy queen and tell him stories of children living in an icy world where they went to school using sled dogs... My kids had no idea what my work was or where I worked until several years after that incident.
I will pray that your dream raven was more a messenger from another realm, than any sort of harbinger of doom, my friend.
Christina
(sorry for the lengthy rant... you captured my imagination with this)
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from Writingfundimension
Dean, you never fail to amaze me with your sure hand when it comes to rhyme and meter. This poem is fantastically atmospheric and creepy as all get out! As always, a fascinating read, my friend. :) Bev
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Dean, you never fail to amaze me with your sure hand when it comes to rhyme and meter. This poem is fantastically atmospheric and creepy as all get out! As always, a fascinating read, my friend. :) Bev
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
You must weigh no more than five pounds if a crow can take you away. I'd hide too. LOL! There are a lot of stupid myths and legends that persist waaayyyyy beyond their time, but this is one of the dumbest yet. Crows and ravens taking folks to Hell or wherever? Maybe if they ganged up and held a net... they ARE known to be very smart birds. Just have the most annoying voices ever. We had a crow near our campsite once... impossible to sleep past dawn! The only way a crow should see Hell is by being shot.
Good poem tho, my personal feelings about crows aside. You follow along with the legend and take time to explain it. :)
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You must weigh no more than five pounds if a crow can take you away. I'd hide too. LOL! There are a lot of stupid myths and legends that persist waaayyyyy beyond their time, but this is one of the dumbest yet. Crows and ravens taking folks to Hell or wherever? Maybe if they ganged up and held a net... they ARE known to be very smart birds. Just have the most annoying voices ever. We had a crow near our campsite once... impossible to sleep past dawn! The only way a crow should see Hell is by being shot.
Good poem tho, my personal feelings about crows aside. You follow along with the legend and take time to explain it. :)
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hey Buckeye,
Perhaps you should start sleeping with your eyes open! Then them birds, them birds, them damn birds will take a hike! LOL.
As always, I love your artwork, and the story behind this one was really good at getting into the poor guys head as the crow begins to peck away.
Okay, I'm going to really start worrying about you, if a woodpecker starts tapping knots on your head! LOL
Love this!
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Buckeye, Jax ('/')
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Hey Buckeye,
Perhaps you should start sleeping with your eyes open! Then them birds, them birds, them damn birds will take a hike! LOL.
As always, I love your artwork, and the story behind this one was really good at getting into the poor guys head as the crow begins to peck away.
Okay, I'm going to really start worrying about you, if a woodpecker starts tapping knots on your head! LOL
Love this!
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Buckeye, Jax ('/')
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from nor84
a dapper crow, in blackest coat(.) I watched him change whilst this I wrote.
when mourning one who's gone to rest(.) his stare held me, I must confess.
Not sure you want the punctuation pointed out. I see other places where a period would be appropriate, but perhaps they would disturb the flow.
Anyway, liked it. One of your best.
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a dapper crow, in blackest coat(.) I watched him change whilst this I wrote.
when mourning one who's gone to rest(.) his stare held me, I must confess.
Not sure you want the punctuation pointed out. I see other places where a period would be appropriate, but perhaps they would disturb the flow.
Anyway, liked it. One of your best.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow. I say again, WOW. Dean, this is an amazing poem, and what a presentation (again)! You certainly entertain, my good friend, and I for one, am extremely glad I didn't miss this one.
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Wow. I say again, WOW. Dean, this is an amazing poem, and what a presentation (again)! You certainly entertain, my good friend, and I for one, am extremely glad I didn't miss this one.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
