Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "O mother dear"A book of Poetry & Writing
101 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
Strong voice of the dying man; gives strong central motive for the narrative and a reason for the emotional power within the text.
The verse is dense and compact; suits the grab of historical time being captured. Also suits the intensity of the message.
Like the sentiment of 'O Mother Dear' which really connects to the reality of human loss in this terrible war.
A suitable tribute in this time of remebrance of WW1.
Well doen.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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Strong voice of the dying man; gives strong central motive for the narrative and a reason for the emotional power within the text.
The verse is dense and compact; suits the grab of historical time being captured. Also suits the intensity of the message.
Like the sentiment of 'O Mother Dear' which really connects to the reality of human loss in this terrible war.
A suitable tribute in this time of remebrance of WW1.
Well doen.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Bobby Jo
This is powerful. I'm impressed by the words that flowed right into each sentence. The fields are red from blood we bleed that seeps into this ground. This is very good with a sad feel of battle.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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This is powerful. I'm impressed by the words that flowed right into each sentence. The fields are red from blood we bleed that seeps into this ground. This is very good with a sad feel of battle.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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Again thank you Bobby Jo
Comment from visionary1234
aah those Flanders poppies ... you still see them in Australia being sold on Remembrance Day, November 11th - and still I see them in English fields and remember dw.
all around this(these) fields
remembering the cost of thousands (who) died this way - needs a little grammatical tinkering here because doesn't make sense as written?
laying (lying) here upon this land.
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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aah those Flanders poppies ... you still see them in Australia being sold on Remembrance Day, November 11th - and still I see them in English fields and remember dw.
all around this(these) fields
remembering the cost of thousands (who) died this way - needs a little grammatical tinkering here because doesn't make sense as written?
laying (lying) here upon this land.
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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Thanks
Comment from Delahay
This brought to my mind Flanders Field where the poppies grow. The way you have written this, it could be about just about any armed conflict throughout history. A soldier writing home while contemplating his possible death, and his friend's too, in the coming days.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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This brought to my mind Flanders Field where the poppies grow. The way you have written this, it could be about just about any armed conflict throughout history. A soldier writing home while contemplating his possible death, and his friend's too, in the coming days.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Dom G Robles
The thought flowed freely, as I see it. The rhyme and rhythm
were smooth. And the theme of the poem was great. Soldiers died in a hallowed ground where lilies are now in bloom, The poem presented a strong image. I am reminded of a poem in my high years which went something like this: It talked of white crosses row on row where now, also the lilies grow...I don't remember the author now but it portrayed equal feelings that the writer is trying to say. Oh, I have one comment: The picture of lilies is pretty good. However, one that would have pictured white crosses filled in between with lilies would have been preferable if there was one, but this one is alright, too. My sincere congratulations. Dom
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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The thought flowed freely, as I see it. The rhyme and rhythm
were smooth. And the theme of the poem was great. Soldiers died in a hallowed ground where lilies are now in bloom, The poem presented a strong image. I am reminded of a poem in my high years which went something like this: It talked of white crosses row on row where now, also the lilies grow...I don't remember the author now but it portrayed equal feelings that the writer is trying to say. Oh, I have one comment: The picture of lilies is pretty good. However, one that would have pictured white crosses filled in between with lilies would have been preferable if there was one, but this one is alright, too. My sincere congratulations. Dom
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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Thanks Dom
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Welcome. Dom
Comment from Dawn Munro
I loved this poem, truly loved it, even though I found it odd that you did not commit to the rhyme or near-rhyme all the way through - (the first two lines).
Gorgeous free style in any event. Strongly evokes sorrowful sentiment and emotion.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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I loved this poem, truly loved it, even though I found it odd that you did not commit to the rhyme or near-rhyme all the way through - (the first two lines).
Gorgeous free style in any event. Strongly evokes sorrowful sentiment and emotion.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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thank you Dawn
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Bryana
There's nothing good you one can say about war, only lives lost and at the end is only sorrow. Your poem describes the horrors of war. I like the words you used and the description of pain. beautifully written poem that pulls at the heart strings.
Excellent writing my friend, it certainly makes you think about the reasons for all these wars.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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There's nothing good you one can say about war, only lives lost and at the end is only sorrow. Your poem describes the horrors of war. I like the words you used and the description of pain. beautifully written poem that pulls at the heart strings.
Excellent writing my friend, it certainly makes you think about the reasons for all these wars.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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thank you Bryana
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You are very welcome my friend.
Comment from LIJ Red
Hemingway of the war in Africa "An Italian with a flesh
wound cries 'Viva Il Duce!' One hit hard cries 'Mamma mia!'"
I can't see much to recommend in the way of change here.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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Hemingway of the war in Africa "An Italian with a flesh
wound cries 'Viva Il Duce!' One hit hard cries 'Mamma mia!'"
I can't see much to recommend in the way of change here.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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thank you for the review Red
Comment from livelylinda
deepwater: your words fill me with the mournful sounds of dying soldiers and the seas of blood spilt upon foreign ground. Wave that poppy in remembrance of those who fell. Inspirational writing. Linda
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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deepwater: your words fill me with the mournful sounds of dying soldiers and the seas of blood spilt upon foreign ground. Wave that poppy in remembrance of those who fell. Inspirational writing. Linda
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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thanks for the review Linda
Comment from Janet Foor
A sad and poignant piece deepwater. Having lost an uncle and a cousin to wars, I can only imagine the heartache of my grandmother and aunt. Perfect picture to enhance your free verse Poem.
Well done.
Janet
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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A sad and poignant piece deepwater. Having lost an uncle and a cousin to wars, I can only imagine the heartache of my grandmother and aunt. Perfect picture to enhance your free verse Poem.
Well done.
Janet
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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thank you Janet
