Comment from Connie C

Excellent

I do believe you have a winner here. Not only did I enjoy your senryu and the image you selected, but I found your author's notes really interesting. It's always nice to learn new things. My best to you in the contest.
Connie

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks so much, Connie, I really appreciate your encouragement. The metaphor of the spindly, creeping spider used as a reference to man's wicked ways has been very well received thus far, and I fully believe, as a married man myself, that any married man who is dumb enough and allows himself to get caught in an enchantresses web is doomed.

Thanks so much again for your wonderful review and most generous rating.

Comment from Jim Lorson Sr

Excellent

This is an excellent senyru contest entry. I truly hope this wins. The artwork absolutely brings this poem to life.

Affairs, no matter who initiates them, very rarely ends on the right side of the heart or the right side of life.

Very well written,,,,,,,Jim

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks so much, Jim, my dear friend. It is holding its own in the voting right now, and hopefully, the trend will continue.

I truly appreciate your very encouraging review!

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

Somehow, I find a perverted sense of poetic justice in the idea that Miley's most recent claim to fame comes from the evasive actions of arachnids. . .there's just something appropriately creepy about it's connection LOL

Also, I am glad to hear no males were harmed in this web construction LOL

Nice write :-)

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks so much, Lorraine. I truly appreciate your fun and entertaining review, my friend, LOL...

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

dramatic presentation of your poem, which is in good 5/7/5 syllable count
I like the alliteration in spindly spider and femme fatale
good pairing of twerks and tacky
You create a strong visual with lots of dark mood
my understanding has always been that the senryu deals with human behavior, and unless I'm misreading your poem and your author notes, your poem is about spiders and spider behavior, but I'm not enough of an expert in Eastern forms to make that call, I guess :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks, Brooke, and I think you're an expert on all things poetic myself, LOL...

This is one where you have to read between the lines a little, delve a bit deeper than just the words, if you will. The spindly spider I make reference to is a man, and as a human female can only be a femme fatale, and not an arachnid, that is the "clue", if you will, that gives it away.

A femme fatale, by its very definition, is as follows, courtesy of dictionary,com...

femme fa.tale

[fem fuh-tal, -tahl, fey-; French fam fa-tal]
noun, plural femmes fa-tales [fem fuh-talz, -tahlz, fey-; French fam fa-tal]
an irresistibly attractive woman, especially one who leads men into difficult, dangerous, or disastrous situations; siren.
Origin:
< French: literally, fatal woman.

Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with me concerning it, and I hope my explanation was adequate.

reply by adewpearl on 12-Aug-2014

I thought you were personifying the spider in calling it a femme fatale.

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

I know, :}...and you are not alone there. However, many have caught on to my intent. The pairing of tacky affair, coupled with femme fatal. I'd hoped that would be enough of a clue. In some cases it was, very much so, while in others, e-h-h-h-h-h...not so much, LOL.

reply by adewpearl on 12-Aug-2014

you win some readers, you lose some... ;-)

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Yep, such is the dilemma a writer is often faced with, heh-heh...:}

Comment from Dustybones

Exceptional

First PLACE!First PLACE!First PLACE!First PLACE!First PLACE!First PLACE!First PLACE!First PLACE!First PLACE!First PLACE!First PLACE!First PLACE!

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Ha ha, I wondered if you felt this was good enough for first place, Dustybones, LOL?

Thanks for the vote of confidence, my dear friend, but I never count out my fellow competitors until all of the votes have been tallied, and the dust has finally cleared. I appreciate the fact that you, yourself, feel that it is worthy of the honor, however.

I truly appreciate the very generous rating of six stars, and your entertaining review, heh-heh...

Thanks a million!

reply by Dustybones on 12-Aug-2014

You got my vote, and then after, I'm allowed to see the results so far. SO I passed it on.

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

I am sure the dainty spider does it better than that female! Good descriptive language and imagery to convey your message. Great pic and good luck in the contest. Faye

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks so much, Faye. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this humble entry for the contest, and I sincerely appreciate your encouraging comments.~:}

Comment from victor 66

Exceptional

Hey, How's it going? This is very good and I already suspect a loss is in my future. I don't know if I followed the exact format concerning the "satire" or "cynical" part of a senryu. But, your senryu is on the mark. I don't think it necessary to wish you luck, however, I will wish you well.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks, Vic, but I never count out my fellow authors until the votes are tallied and the dust has cleared, LOL. Being that it is a Gothic senryu, the topic of a femme fetale (which can only be a vicious human female, as in film noir), the male "spider" spoken of is human men, just used as a metaphor. So, the context should fit well within the senryu design.

I truly appreciate your thoughts and kind review, my dear friend.

reply by victor 66 on 12-Aug-2014

True, "It's never over till it's over". But your creativity and presentation are always right there on the mark. The art work accompanying your poem resembles Monica Bellucci quite a bit. I could not only be "caught in her web", I'd jump in. Whoo...Doggie! Enough ogling your art work. Beautiful women and great poetry, hard to beat. Take care, Dean.

Comment from JM

Exceptional

Your choice of art is wickedly wonderful. I appreciated your notes as it gives insight and I learned something new. Next time I twerk at my Zumba class, I will think of the spider. Enjoyed everything about this haiku.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks so much, JM, and I truly appreciate the fact that it will resonate with you and stick (excuse that shameless pun, LOL) with you in your mind in the future. That to me is what writing is all about. Creating something that stays with the reader long after the actual, physical act of reading is done.

Thanks for the exceptional rating and a review that is just as stellar as the rating. I'm sincerely grateful.

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

I can guess from a mile away which talented writer and expert at presentation wrote this.

I never heard of 'twerks', though it's a fun word, and with respect, 'tweaks' would make more sense.

I'm not a lover of longish notes to either explain or add to the meaning of a short form, as I think the reader should arrive at their own interpretation without being 'led' by the writer, though your notes are very interesting.

Please don't be offended, 'D', as it's just my humble and honest opinion.

Good luck and best wishes, Ray.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Not offended in the least, my dear friend. I know you're not alone there as well.

I feel we are all entitled to our own likes, dislikes and opinions. It what makes us special, what makes us who we are. I would have been more offended had you not shred your thoughts with me...:}

Thanks again for your kind and encouraging review, Ray. I sincerely appreciate it!

Oh, on a side note, just Google 'Miley Cyrus twerking'. You'll soon see, heh-heh

reply by Domino 2 on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks for your interesting and gracious reply, D.

I'll so that.

Ray

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

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Comment from NurseBarb

Excellent

I know who you are author, I can identify your work but I will not reveal your true identity. As always, this entry is superb. Great presentation and descriptions as well. Twerking is a clever way of describing the dance move of the male spider and the last line sums it up perfectly. Author notes informative and last line is funny. Good luck in this contest.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks so much, NurseBarb, and I have got a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to need a lot of luck for this one! LOL...

reply by NurseBarb on 12-Aug-2014

Luck coming your way D.