Comment from Just Pete

Exceptional

Brilliantly told, with shades of "The owl and the pussycat"? Great rhyming and a good sense of fun. This is a great entry for the contest and I wish you the best of luck, Pete

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014

Pete, thanks so much for your generous and encouraging response to my story poem :-) Brooke

Comment from Tonulak

Excellent

DEar Brooke,
This is fine entry into the Story in aPoem contest. It had your characteristic whimsical elements and taught a wise principle. At State we used to call this "paralysis by analysis":) Great job with this one--Ted

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014

Thank you so much, Ted :-) I love that phrase! Brooke

Comment from brentman99

Excellent

A nice work that was a fun read. I've never heard the name, so you learn something new every day.

Thanks for sharing, Brent.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014

Brent, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from tedanytime

Excellent

Great story that expresses the plight of human stubbornness to cut short dreams of great possibilities. Zee and Tee might have seen the world and saved some from the dragon.

Have missed your writings and fine photos. Good luck!

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014

Ted, it's good to see you back :-) Thanks so much. Brooke

Comment from faragon

Excellent

Very amusing story! I love the way you tell it! It is very easy to read along for both adults and children. The sing-song quality is good. Good lesson for the children on stubbornness not accomplishing anything.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014

faragon, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from Auroraboreal800

Excellent

Fascinating poem Brooke! I loved the name and do not remember ever seeing it. I enjoyed your story very much. Wow! Now I learned something new.
Great job! I love it! Good luck in the contest.
:)

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014

Aurora, thank you so much for your thoughtful review and kind contest wishes :-) Brooke

Comment from Aussie

Exceptional

Please to find a publisher for your poems! This one is at the top of my list for a real story poem with colourful characters - a message - humour and I really loved your story/poem. Good luck in the contest XX

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014

Kay, thank you so very much, my encouraging and lovely friend :-) Brooke

Comment from Kenneth Schaal

Excellent

Names are fun, and you drew to an excellent pairing. Seems your Zerubbabel is less inclined to build, or talk. Tobias is no help.

Good rollicking ballad form, and a good story plot accentuated throughout with the players names gives the verse variety. The pilot's disagreement sounds common and innocent enough until we realize the very disastrous consequences. Great story, and great lilt. Good luck. Kenny

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014

Kenny, thank you for your thoughtful reading of this poem :-) Brooke

Comment from pugdogy

Exceptional

Excellent work! I really enjoyed reading this poem. this is something that could be enjoyed by children and adults alike. You've done a great job in telling a cute story within a poem.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014

pugdogy, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from playinaround

Exceptional

This was really fun to read. I enjoyed the sound of the names and the rhythm. This was a fun adventure. Very well written. Thank you for sharing this fun and interesting poem!

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014

playinaround, thank you so much for your generous response to this story poem :-) Brooke