Comment from NurseBarb

Excellent

This is a great prompt and I'm glad you answered it Michael as you have done an outstanding job with here. I really enjoyed reading it and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2014

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Yes, you are poetic compulsion. Poetry finds its way into your stories all the time. YOu can't help being a poet, Mikey. But you're good at it, so I have no complaints. :)

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2014

Comment from CR Delport

Excellent

Mike, you sure have a unique way to see things around you and write them down in your own, wonderful words. This is well written. Good luck.
Christelle.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

I'm so pleased you liked this one. It was a very strange prompt. It seemed to just fall together for me. Thank you, mikey

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Great entry for the contest, Mikey! Love it (love you!) Lots of depth here. Great flow and rhyming too. Closed and opposed--great creative rhyme pair.

I especially enjoyed these lines:


i hear tears drip behind smiles

i cry for things most haven't seen

i dream of the perfect life's theme

i wonder... i wonder... i wonder... why?

and

i want love's flag flying unfurled,

The only line I stumble on (slightly) is:


i worry that it's on air that you lean

Using THAT twice weakens the voicing and the flow is not as smooth as other lines. May I suggest:


i worry it's on air that you lean

or


i worry that it's on air you lean

or

i worry it's on air you lean

Nice rhyme, consonance of P and flow in phrasing as well as a potent ending note in terms of theme and meaning:

i feel thoughts erupting- soul's propulsion!
i am poetic compulsion

A strong contender, for sure. Bravo.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

I fixed that line. Thank you for pointing it out. Wow. One of the best reviews I've ever had. That is the fun of these prompts, they can send you off in directions one never expected. I was surprised once I got started that it came fairly easy. Thank you so much. Big smiles. :)) mikey

reply by rama devi on 21-Jul-2014

So glad you found the review helpful, Mikey--thanks for your gracious response. Hugs, rd

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Mikey;
I was very impressed with your poem considering it was a difficult format to do. You've written this most excellently and I must say good luck in the contest for this is an excellent entry.
Imagination even though it was tamed by formats was done very well And also very inventive and creative while your imagery was very descriptive and expressive throughout.
I found your rhyming and rhythm was to be excellently done and neither of your rhymes were forced nor labored while your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout your poem.
You brought your concept and message clearly across with your own beliefs, divinations, opinions and convictions. I especially like your truisms and proverbial aphorisms.
Thank you for sharing imposing this for everyone to read and may all your endeavors be good ones my friend.
Alex
PS: Are you still playing music?

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

This was a pretty strange set up. It was fun trying to figure something out! I'm glad you liked what I came up with. These things often take you somewhere that you hadn't thought of. I still play a bit. I haven't figured out how to get the music onto the poems like a lot of people do or I'd try and post some songs maybe. But, We're young... plenty of time. Hahaha. Thank you so much. mikey

reply by krys123 on 21-Jul-2014

You are so sincerely welcome Mikey.
If you're trying to get music from You Tube, I can help you with that and maybe some other things.
Alex

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

This must have been quite tough to write using those rules. I would say it demonstrates how a person, in particular a poet views the world. Excellent rhyming and choice of words and imagery to demonstrate who you are. Most enjoyable read. Faye

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thank you. Yes, this was strange. It came out pretty good! Glad you enjoyed. mikey

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

I really like your entry Mikey for the I Am prompt. I like that you hear tears behind smiles - great imagery. Good luck!!
Teresa

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thank you! This was a strange prompt. So pleased you enjoyed this. mikey

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

well Michael, this is a good job...looks like you got every word in there....and came out with it making sense...I am who I am...I see what others don't...very well written you...Luff Linda xxoo love

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thank you. I saw this really strange format, so I thought I'd give it a go. So delighted that you liked it! mikey

reply by l.raven on 21-Jul-2014

always...so welcome...xxoo

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

umm ya forgot the first "i am" in the beginning!

other than that, good work!

on suggestion in the "i feel" line.... how about "thoughts" (instead of thought)? just a thought lol ;)

thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest :-)

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014

Oh, I thought that was the title. Okay, it's there now. :) Thoughts, yes. May as well have many!! Thank you. A great innovative contest, all my reviewers commented on how cool the format is. mikey

Comment from nordicgirl

Exceptional

This is an interesting format. Hats off to the creator. You have jumped right in and answered the challenge beautifully here. This rings so very true and no doubt words that a poet can telate to or even embrace. This will be hard to beat. The front runner so far! NG

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Crazy, isn't it? What a great review. I was being really honest and I'm so delighted that it came across that way. Thanks for the awesome review. mikey