His Name Was Adam
approx. 1100 words20 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Your message comes through loud and clear, Ingrid. Everyone is a product of their experiences and some cope better than others.
As far as the technical aspects of the story, I wonder if you're writing about Canadian veterans benefits, healthcare and Seals. If US, the details need a little more research.
Sad that his early experiences deprived him of the ability to love. :) nancy
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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Your message comes through loud and clear, Ingrid. Everyone is a product of their experiences and some cope better than others.
As far as the technical aspects of the story, I wonder if you're writing about Canadian veterans benefits, healthcare and Seals. If US, the details need a little more research.
Sad that his early experiences deprived him of the ability to love. :) nancy
Comment Written 26-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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A one-time vet from the navy pointed out, in my original post I did confuse army ranks with the navy, but that has been corrected. I am aware of the prestigious rank of being a SEAL and their focused missions and place in the military. Beyond the athletic and physical functions, I took a leap of faith in expecting that both the US and CDN VA divisions have review boards that determine compensation--our health care in Canada is free for everyone. In that aspect, you're right, perhaps US vets have life-time health care and the HMO reference may be flawed.
What is absolutely true in Canada, especially in the last year, is the suicide statistics from returning vets who needed disability because of PTSD and the shameful neglect of the VA boards to acknowledge the damaged people, always looking for some pre-existing psychological condition to use as a way to deny benefits and absolving the government of any responsibility.
Comment from mfowler
This is a very well constructed story with the two parts revealing a sad and debilitating psychosis within poor Adam Wallace. The Navy's treatment of one of their own is played out with cold hearted reality. Your storytelling is razor sharp as per usual, and invokes a range of emotional response throughout. Very enjoyable.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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This is a very well constructed story with the two parts revealing a sad and debilitating psychosis within poor Adam Wallace. The Navy's treatment of one of their own is played out with cold hearted reality. Your storytelling is razor sharp as per usual, and invokes a range of emotional response throughout. Very enjoyable.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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I thank you very much for your kind words.
Comment from Donya Quijote
An interesting story about how the health care fails military people especially when it comes to psychological problems. One problem with the story is your use of improper military designations. SEALs are the special forces of the US Navy and use Navy designation. An army sergeant is the same as a petty officer in the Navy, specifically a second class petty officer. It was the rank I had achieved while in service. The navy equivalent to general is admiral. Seals are very particular about who becomes one. Most who try out do not become SEALs. Hope this was helpful...
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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An interesting story about how the health care fails military people especially when it comes to psychological problems. One problem with the story is your use of improper military designations. SEALs are the special forces of the US Navy and use Navy designation. An army sergeant is the same as a petty officer in the Navy, specifically a second class petty officer. It was the rank I had achieved while in service. The navy equivalent to general is admiral. Seals are very particular about who becomes one. Most who try out do not become SEALs. Hope this was helpful...
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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I should have asked you as I know your career history. what would I now, a land-locked Canadian? Hey wait, I have a cousin, a retired Vice-Admiral, who also is a shrink (a bad one) living in Florida, but I haven't had an urge to talk to him in years.
Hopefully I've caught my flubs---thank you!
Comment from Selina Stambi
HI SE,
My heart was completely engaged in the early tragedy surrounding Adam's life..
A very compelling read. Thank you. :)
Sonali
(For) (w)hatever reason they'd married
It too(k) eight years for Adam to grow
none (whatsoever), Dr. Spencer; there is a statement
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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HI SE,
My heart was completely engaged in the early tragedy surrounding Adam's life..
A very compelling read. Thank you. :)
Sonali
(For) (w)hatever reason they'd married
It too(k) eight years for Adam to grow
none (whatsoever), Dr. Spencer; there is a statement
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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Thanks for the spag aler--already corrected.
Comment from forestport12
I'd have to say, having served in the military a lifetime ago, I thought this was authentic and riveting conversation about the predicament of this boy and the desires. Very realistic and true to form. I was engrossed in this from beginning to end. Wow... That could have been me...
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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I'd have to say, having served in the military a lifetime ago, I thought this was authentic and riveting conversation about the predicament of this boy and the desires. Very realistic and true to form. I was engrossed in this from beginning to end. Wow... That could have been me...
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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Save for the uniform, it could have been me too. as you well know, being in touch with the depths of our jellied emotions and experiences, allows us to breathe into our characters. You do it all the time.
Thanks for the bouquet. It's nice to see you on line. I suspect that means a chapter will follow shortly.
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Yes. A couple days. Back in the saddle.
Comment from reconciled
almost.....-smile- hey Ingrid...I was named after my father...firstborn. I too joined the Navy....after one night...so jacked up on qualudes....I walked right past our house into the neighbors and made myself to home...wondering out loud when they purchased the new refrigerator ...when I inquired of the new television...someone broke the silence with..."Michael you live next door" when finally I made it in....it was early in the morning...everyone was asleep....but me and tv....who was spewing something about "being all you could be"...when I woke up I went to a recruiter who filled me with lies and lil' truth....while in boot camp ...I tried out for the seals...and failed....but I did try, in fact the only one...that day...yes it easier to reject one whom feels rejected. You always write so well...love Michael
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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almost.....-smile- hey Ingrid...I was named after my father...firstborn. I too joined the Navy....after one night...so jacked up on qualudes....I walked right past our house into the neighbors and made myself to home...wondering out loud when they purchased the new refrigerator ...when I inquired of the new television...someone broke the silence with..."Michael you live next door" when finally I made it in....it was early in the morning...everyone was asleep....but me and tv....who was spewing something about "being all you could be"...when I woke up I went to a recruiter who filled me with lies and lil' truth....while in boot camp ...I tried out for the seals...and failed....but I did try, in fact the only one...that day...yes it easier to reject one whom feels rejected. You always write so well...love Michael
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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What an incredibly sensitive and intimate response. Thank you for sharing that small piece of your past, ingrid
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you know....while I was in....I ahh fell...there were reasons...but its a long story...and when I awoke....I was crumpled amongst iron....and my thumb was swinging in the breeze by a tendon....ouch....didn't feel a thing...mad...like a *&%!!er......anyway....I was supposed to get disability...but....guess what....-headshake-...yep.......so you see I was compelled by the serum of truth....except....no nana....my mother ahh well....she is my mother...-smile-...and I have a million and one friends of fair weather...-wink-
Comment from Sasha
Damn! I wish I had a 6 to give you for this. This really struck a nerve with me. I know this is fiction but it read as non-fiction...I felt Adam was real and I even felt his pain. Abandoned from the beginning and abandoned again. He never really had a chance did he. This is superbly written and deeply moving. You even got me to cry. What a heartbreaking ending...missing in action. Damn, woman, you are really good!
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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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Damn! I wish I had a 6 to give you for this. This really struck a nerve with me. I know this is fiction but it read as non-fiction...I felt Adam was real and I even felt his pain. Abandoned from the beginning and abandoned again. He never really had a chance did he. This is superbly written and deeply moving. You even got me to cry. What a heartbreaking ending...missing in action. Damn, woman, you are really good!
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Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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Yeah, well damn woman, so are you.
Here is the perfect example as to why you CAN write fiction. Of course all the emotion is real, we both lived it. I just rented it out to a soldier for a thousand words, as can you.
Comment from GWHARGIS
This story gave me chills and I'lll tell you why. My brother and his wife had a son. This son was blamed for all the bad in their lives, never loved, always considered a burden. Cried in my arms that neither his parents nor anyone else loved him. It was heartbreaking. His own mother told him never to reveal that he was her son. I felt like I was reading a biography about him. He fell forty feet off of a roof and broke his back in two places. Did either parent go to visit him in the hospital, nope. I kept having to look back at the category...fiction. I'm not so sure. You seemed to have struck a nerve.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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This story gave me chills and I'lll tell you why. My brother and his wife had a son. This son was blamed for all the bad in their lives, never loved, always considered a burden. Cried in my arms that neither his parents nor anyone else loved him. It was heartbreaking. His own mother told him never to reveal that he was her son. I felt like I was reading a biography about him. He fell forty feet off of a roof and broke his back in two places. Did either parent go to visit him in the hospital, nope. I kept having to look back at the category...fiction. I'm not so sure. You seemed to have struck a nerve.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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Gretchen, even though I have no doubt you did and continue to love him--hopefully in life, a child NEEDS his parental love and approval, no matter who else fills in the void. And that, I do know about. Thanks for all the stars.
Comment from Jay Squires
dragging each syllable through the venom [Yes!]
It is always baffling to me how of two people given the same relative start in life on rises to the top of his potential, the other wallows in defeat.
Well conceived and written.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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dragging each syllable through the venom [Yes!]
It is always baffling to me how of two people given the same relative start in life on rises to the top of his potential, the other wallows in defeat.
Well conceived and written.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the bouquet of stars. Haven't written much lately, so they're many more times appreciated. As to your question or muse--I think different times, different circumstances and outside forces contribute. Many carry genetic dispositions to disease and it lays dormant, while others do one thing 'wrong' and it triggers an avalanche.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is wonderfully written and so very sad in the truth it expresses in the narrative. Adam's family had become the Navy and once again he was let down. A person cannot be something they have never had the opportunity to witness in action as your story so clearly shows. How often it is assumed that there is "their own" who will take care of them when in fact they are being condemned to a lonely hell here on earth. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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This is wonderfully written and so very sad in the truth it expresses in the narrative. Adam's family had become the Navy and once again he was let down. A person cannot be something they have never had the opportunity to witness in action as your story so clearly shows. How often it is assumed that there is "their own" who will take care of them when in fact they are being condemned to a lonely hell here on earth. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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You picked up every point I hoped would translate into this story. thanks for reading and letting me know that my words translated through fiction.
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My pleasure.
