His Name Was Adam
approx. 1100 words20 total reviews
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
This reads like rank injustice that can come from pompous bureaucracy. The military committee sounds like "kicking a man who's down," or beating a dead dog to death."
As if Adam didn't have a chldhood rough enough, with few breaks in life, and overwhelming rejection, in this hearing for compensation, the "perfect counsel, the so-called psychiatrists and big wheels cast the final insult. Elizabeth, you must know about such cases.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014
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This reads like rank injustice that can come from pompous bureaucracy. The military committee sounds like "kicking a man who's down," or beating a dead dog to death."
As if Adam didn't have a chldhood rough enough, with few breaks in life, and overwhelming rejection, in this hearing for compensation, the "perfect counsel, the so-called psychiatrists and big wheels cast the final insult. Elizabeth, you must know about such cases.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014
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The deal in Canada, where I'm actually a citizen, there are some horrific cases coming to light where the boards and committees us absolute veto power, and go to great lengths to protect the budget. It's all blowing up right now.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
I was wondering where you were. This is a sad tale. I was reminded of a song by Andrew Gold - Lonely Boy. It always made me think of my brother, whose childhood was pretty bad.
I can remember my dad telling his brother he didn't love us, and the shocked expression on my brother's face.
I was half expecting Adam to pick up a gun and become one of the 'shooters' that seem to be in the news every other week these days.
Well done, my friend.
Love Av
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014
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I was wondering where you were. This is a sad tale. I was reminded of a song by Andrew Gold - Lonely Boy. It always made me think of my brother, whose childhood was pretty bad.
I can remember my dad telling his brother he didn't love us, and the shocked expression on my brother's face.
I was half expecting Adam to pick up a gun and become one of the 'shooters' that seem to be in the news every other week these days.
Well done, my friend.
Love Av
Comment Written 27-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014
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Haven't been writing much, no writer's block, just a slump--an apathetic ambivalence towards writing in general. We must make plans to reconnoitre soon. No more teachers, no more books, no more teachers dirty looks.
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Hey, I've been a little bit the same. Getting back on track now, though, I hope. Working on the next 'Triskelion' offering. I'm eager to get it finished.
Yes, let me know when you want to get together, and we'll figure summat out.
xx
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Ingrid,
you come up with some 'beauties' and this story is no different... a well constructed tale that kept me in all the way. Pretty sad to think some people fall through the cracks or just don't realize that the only approval needed is their own... but that never stops us trying to prove our worth... I wonder how this story would have ended up if Adam had indeed been received into the Seal program? I guess that an entirely different story... here's the thing, I think you may have people relating to this story on a very personal level because on the abandonment issues Adam suffered... but personally I was and am still a loner and been a team player has never been a problem, in fact I was an over-the-top team player who took on responsibility for everything and everybody--- personality? Leader? Or just someone trying to fit in?... a try-hard? Who knows? No matter the story was entertaining and touch some raw nerves in me... once again my sweet friend you have delivered... great job.
With our thoughts we create,
a reason for why?
James xx
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Hi Ingrid,
you come up with some 'beauties' and this story is no different... a well constructed tale that kept me in all the way. Pretty sad to think some people fall through the cracks or just don't realize that the only approval needed is their own... but that never stops us trying to prove our worth... I wonder how this story would have ended up if Adam had indeed been received into the Seal program? I guess that an entirely different story... here's the thing, I think you may have people relating to this story on a very personal level because on the abandonment issues Adam suffered... but personally I was and am still a loner and been a team player has never been a problem, in fact I was an over-the-top team player who took on responsibility for everything and everybody--- personality? Leader? Or just someone trying to fit in?... a try-hard? Who knows? No matter the story was entertaining and touch some raw nerves in me... once again my sweet friend you have delivered... great job.
With our thoughts we create,
a reason for why?
James xx
Comment Written 27-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Thank you for your always gracious response sharing your own stories and passing a piece of the puzzle into cyberspace to allow my butterfly net in Canada to capture your words.
All stories are personal, and this one is no exception. It was birthed from a completely different set of circumstances, but Adam's plight--the real one--inspired me to write this story.
I'm not done with my soldier stage. stay tuned for a very, based on a true event--story about another soldier within the next couple of days. Hugs, Ingrid.
Comment from judiverse
This is a compelling story. You have a very believable story of what happened to Adam as a boy and a very striking description of his mother. She was really something. No doubt his childhood made him a loner and couldn't be there for his fellow ship-mates when they needed him. No one was there for him. You handle the time shift well. The discussion about Adam's condition and fitness to be a Seal is compelling. The human element doesn't figure in the Marine equation, and they are quick to write off Adam. This must be like what happens to many men in the service. Because one doesn't succeed in one path doesn't mean he can't succeed somewhere else. You've made Adam a very compelling character. judi
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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This is a compelling story. You have a very believable story of what happened to Adam as a boy and a very striking description of his mother. She was really something. No doubt his childhood made him a loner and couldn't be there for his fellow ship-mates when they needed him. No one was there for him. You handle the time shift well. The discussion about Adam's condition and fitness to be a Seal is compelling. The human element doesn't figure in the Marine equation, and they are quick to write off Adam. This must be like what happens to many men in the service. Because one doesn't succeed in one path doesn't mean he can't succeed somewhere else. You've made Adam a very compelling character. judi
Comment Written 27-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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And from what I'm told, very few of the men--women are not allowed--who apply, get accepted and not considered a failure, but in Adam's case, his need for acceptance was so overwhelming that any failure was enough to push him over the edge--the marriage being the last straw. you can't be what you've never seen and this character had failure stamped all over his forehead if he judged himself so harshly.
Thanks for reading.
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You're so welcome. I remember reading Spitfire's account of her husband's military career. It seems he was trying to escape a bad mother, too. However, he was able to make a success. It's possible to succeed in spite of one's parents, but challenging. judi
Comment from DALLAS01
I'm left wondering if Adam had additional negative experiences in the service (other than being rejected for becoming a Seal) that would would have added, or triggered more psychological trauma in addition to that suffered from his life prior to entering the service? The way I am reading this is that the full blame lies with his lack of upbringing and being discounted from day one. In reality, I find it highly unlikely that the navy would grant any monatory reward
You know my second husband suffered both, and unless he had his breakdown documented and traced back to combat, I can assure you the following would never have been considered.
Three of the most glaring factors contributing to severe post traumatic stress disorder in combat vets are:
1. Coming from a dysfunctional family background.
2. Being highly intelligent
3. Young age when exposed to trauma in the field.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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I'm left wondering if Adam had additional negative experiences in the service (other than being rejected for becoming a Seal) that would would have added, or triggered more psychological trauma in addition to that suffered from his life prior to entering the service? The way I am reading this is that the full blame lies with his lack of upbringing and being discounted from day one. In reality, I find it highly unlikely that the navy would grant any monatory reward
You know my second husband suffered both, and unless he had his breakdown documented and traced back to combat, I can assure you the following would never have been considered.
Three of the most glaring factors contributing to severe post traumatic stress disorder in combat vets are:
1. Coming from a dysfunctional family background.
2. Being highly intelligent
3. Young age when exposed to trauma in the field.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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I remember your husbands story very well--especially the initiation--the helmet experience.
Recently we've had a series of suicides by returning vets and the government, though publicly airing all kinds of 'being part of the military family' ads has not provided the vets with services and compensation. Last month they had a special memorial service for those lost in Afghanistan. The ceremony was in Ottawa and they had the good sense to invite the families of the lost--that they wee honouring--but refused to pay for airfare or accommodations. Once that info got out, there was an enormous public outcry and they quickly back-pedalled.
You see, taking your own experience and presenting it as fiction, changing the characters from real to fictional--now that would be a story Alice.
Thanks for the stars.
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Nice to know the public still has a voice. Some of these guys may be returning with all of their body parts, but their souls didn't make it out.
Comment from Cajungirl
This story of yours pulled me in right from the beginning. It is so very well-written and reads as a non-fiction story. it is very sad that Vets are not given the help they need to maintain a quality life. We are quick to send our young people off to war, but we are done with them when they return. Great Story, I am sure we all know an Adam.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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This story of yours pulled me in right from the beginning. It is so very well-written and reads as a non-fiction story. it is very sad that Vets are not given the help they need to maintain a quality life. We are quick to send our young people off to war, but we are done with them when they return. Great Story, I am sure we all know an Adam.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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Yes, I'm sure we do. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from dreamin'
When Adam finally does something that will allow him to be part of a real family, to feel connected to something, I was elated. To discover he was stripped of the opportunity, like everything else in his life, I felt an overwhelming sadness.
"...regretted not naming him Gregory or Archibald, something they could enunciate through their gritted teeth, dragging each syllable through the venom in the forced conversations..." This evokes a vivid image of the kind of person who should never ever be allowed to have children.
"There's nothing in the file that indicates any responsibility for the US military to give any kind of long term compensation. We've done enough." Of course there isn't. God forbid someone actually look at the file long enough to crease the pages, much less find something noteworthy.
'It's crap. The kid can't write worth shit. SEALS didn't want him, and reading all this drivel about love makes me want to puke. This boy's not 'one of our own,' and I should know, having served for thirty years." This idiot and his attitude are the most perfect examples of why child abuse (be it emotional and/or physical) will never go away.
'missing in action' What a superb way to describe the outcome of that meeting. Not sure it was intended for that, but that is where I considered it a most effective description.
Great writing. The content really pissed me off.
Well done,
Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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When Adam finally does something that will allow him to be part of a real family, to feel connected to something, I was elated. To discover he was stripped of the opportunity, like everything else in his life, I felt an overwhelming sadness.
"...regretted not naming him Gregory or Archibald, something they could enunciate through their gritted teeth, dragging each syllable through the venom in the forced conversations..." This evokes a vivid image of the kind of person who should never ever be allowed to have children.
"There's nothing in the file that indicates any responsibility for the US military to give any kind of long term compensation. We've done enough." Of course there isn't. God forbid someone actually look at the file long enough to crease the pages, much less find something noteworthy.
'It's crap. The kid can't write worth shit. SEALS didn't want him, and reading all this drivel about love makes me want to puke. This boy's not 'one of our own,' and I should know, having served for thirty years." This idiot and his attitude are the most perfect examples of why child abuse (be it emotional and/or physical) will never go away.
'missing in action' What a superb way to describe the outcome of that meeting. Not sure it was intended for that, but that is where I considered it a most effective description.
Great writing. The content really pissed me off.
Well done,
Debbie
Comment Written 26-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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MIA--that was EXACTLY the intent--lost forever in the shuffle, filed away in a file labelled 'indifference.'
thanks for the great feedback and all the sparkle.
Comment from Nosha17
Interesting psychology behind the mind of the main character. But, it does go to show that such a childhood, deprived of love and emotion can have lasting effects on a human being which carry through all his later life. Good use of language in the narrative, characters, descriptions. Enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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Interesting psychology behind the mind of the main character. But, it does go to show that such a childhood, deprived of love and emotion can have lasting effects on a human being which carry through all his later life. Good use of language in the narrative, characters, descriptions. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 26-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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As a survivor, I can attest to the fact that early childhood trauma creates porosity in a human's life foundation. It can, in factually does, leave a scarred person to try to survive. Thanks.
Comment from Green Lake Girl
You've done a great job describing a life scarred from the very beginning. So sad when parents do everything in their power to ruin their children. I doubt people can recover and lead normal lives from such a rotten start in life.
Your writing is very tight; you give your readers a complete story, no wasted words. Good emotion and description. Loved this phrase: " . . . product of a marriage built in shifting sand."
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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You've done a great job describing a life scarred from the very beginning. So sad when parents do everything in their power to ruin their children. I doubt people can recover and lead normal lives from such a rotten start in life.
Your writing is very tight; you give your readers a complete story, no wasted words. Good emotion and description. Loved this phrase: " . . . product of a marriage built in shifting sand."
Comment Written 26-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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Thank you. these kind of parents have no interest in kids, only themselves, and yes, they leave scars.
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My nephew had a bullying issue with a kid in High School who was told by his father, almost daily, that he was a loser and the cause of all his problems. Imagine hearing that crap all the time.
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I don't have to imagine--I know.
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I'm so sorry that you have personal knowledge of that.
Comment from James Dooney
Wow I really loved reading this. it is so true for so many people. You have really got me thinking here, and I hope your next work is as good.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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Wow I really loved reading this. it is so true for so many people. You have really got me thinking here, and I hope your next work is as good.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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Thanks so very much for the kind words and especially the stars.
