Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi,

Uh-oh, me thinks this fella was not a nice fella, and now he's paying big time! Nice, suspenseful little story.

Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Keep Smilin'.... Jax

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks, Jax. By the looks of things, I'm going to need all of the luck that I can get.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

A good entry in this " prisoner" writing contest! What an interesting short narrative in this fascinatingly short write! I love the brief but dramatic discourse that went on here, it projects all sorts of images in one's mind, I loved the surprise ending, clever! Well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks, Roy.

Comment from donnadiann

Excellent

Very effective opening lines to show the serial killler's own fears grabbing at the mind. Good strong plot unfolding as supposedly the dead is coming from the grave, but the twist (very good), they got caught.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks, Donna. I hate for the bad guys to win.

reply by donnadiann on 25-Jun-2014

Very true:)

Comment from Kausar_Javeria

Excellent

Hello there~!
Amazing write for the little prompt. I really liked it. It's a shame that it's only a hundred words though.. Would have liked to know more about the situation going on..
Anyway, Good luck with the contest~
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Well it had to conform to the contest rules, so there is that. But, you still get the idea that what's going to happen to the guy isn't gonna be good... I hope!

Thanks for the review, Kausar.

reply by Kausar_Javeria on 25-Jun-2014

Yeah, I do get the idea. But would have loved to see (or rather read) it in detail~
Anyway,
Good Luck~!

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

I could have gone into greater detail at the risk of going over 100 words and being disqualified. Not that it would have mattered that much for this particular contest. LOL...

Comment from TheWriteTeach

Excellent

Officer Perkins sure walked into an strange situation! This has an interesting twist to it. The woman who was buried in the cellar started out as the prisoner, but her captor became the prisoner in the end. Just desserts, right? Nice job with this. It isn't easy getting everything in that you need to with limited words. Good luck in the contest.

Suzanne

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thank you Lord, for letting someone out there actually "get this!"

You nailed it, Teach, a reversal of fortunes, so to speak, as there are actually two prisoners in this story. The serial killer is doomed to become a prisoner again, for a long, long time.

Thanks to you, dear Lord, for giving me someone out there who can actually read between the lines a little.

Amen...

reply by TheWriteTeach on 25-Jun-2014

Your response make me laugh like crazy. I hear your frustration at people who can't/don't/won't read beneath the surface and find the hidden meanings to things. I find many people to be extremely 'concrete' these days.

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Yeah, like Stonehenge. Ancient and mysterious rock architecture.

reply by TheWriteTeach on 25-Jun-2014

OMG - you are too funny!

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

So my wife often tells me.

You do know that most horror writers have a great sense of humor. We have to, or we'd go completely bonkers. Ever hear a Stephen King interview? That man could be a stand-up comedian, LOL...

Comment from pafaust

Excellent

This brought chills to me. You've conveyed what it must feel like to get away with a horrible action and then be confronted with either being paid back or getting caught. Good luck!

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks, pafaust. I'm going to need it.

Comment from ProjectBluebook

Excellent

That is one heck of a twist. Was the officer, not the last victim, he thought crawled out of her hole. Big time imagination. You sold me on this 100 word flash fiction. That shovel was the nail in the coffin. It is amusing. I wish you luck in the contest. This is the best, so, far ... wackydo

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks, Wackydo. I wish others felt as you do, my friend.

Thanks for the encouragement, and your kind review.

reply by ProjectBluebook on 25-Jun-2014

It's short like it should, but it has a surprise at the end. I didn't know it was an officer, until the end. I really thought ... the victim crawled from her grave and whacked him. It was clever. It was good enough for me. Yep, people have their friends.

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Yes, and apparently, I have very few of them here, on FanStory. I'm happy to have you, though, old friend!

Comment from acerisestory

Excellent

This story had a wonderful element of surprise. It is well written and a great read with good descriptive language: 'A moist slushy sound; like galoshes walkin' across wet grass.' Wonder how he's going to get out of this one? Best of luck in the contest. Alana

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks.

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

You have met the contest requirements nicely with this well written narrative. You made excellent use of each word allotted by giving the reader an entertaining story with a surprise ending. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks.

Comment from Delahay

Excellent

This a rather dark and chilling yet somewhat vague, probably due to the writing constraints you were under. It leaves a lot hanging but still evokes and image of the macabre. I get the impression of a killer's latest victim rising from the grave to torment him. Tied to a chair, all he can hear is the wet, slithering sound of something moving around him, waiting to get revenge.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks