Comment from daeneam

Excellent

I'm addicted to reading your works, so I browsed your portfolio to see which of your works I failed to read. And I found this. I thought this was Ben Pfizer's story too. But he's a policeman?

How about making a creepy story about abortion or abortionist? Thank you. c", Mae

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014

Thank you, Mae, for dusting this short story off and having a go at it. That is very perceptive of you to pick up on that connection as well. I have never mentioned it to anyone.

As far as the abortionist goes, I fear many people might take offense in some way. I have thought about it, however, and I still might do it yet.

Thanks so much again, my friend.

reply by daeneam on 08-Jul-2014

I couldn't wait to read that!

Comment from Michaelk

Excellent

Shades of 'Tell tale heart'? Very nice for 100 words. I loved the descriptions, especially '...like golashes walkin' across wet grass.' I could almost see the muddy corpse dragging her feet slowly across the basement to do unthinkable things to him. And then you threw in your twist. Great job.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014

Thanks, Michael. I'm really glad you liked this short thing. You're right, I was thinking of Poe the entire time I wrote it.

Comment from Donya Quijote

Excellent

The sound effects were a nice touch and a bit creepy. I like it. wow! This was twisted to say the least. So very hard to tell reality in the story from the not reality. I'm detecting a touch of Poe in this, a little Black cat for inspiration. Very interesting for just a hundred words...

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

Well, Donya, you're very perceptive. I am a huge fan of old Edgar and have studied his poetry and prose extensively in college. So no doubt his influences crept in here, to this humble yet meager offering.

Thanks for the review. I only wish it had done better in the contest.

Comment from ArtGal

Excellent

Lol, oh my, you sure so have a great imagination. Ah, his lastest victim, so he's done this before. Yet, she was buried but still crawled out, so maybe one of the living dead? So now it's her turn for revenge! How sweet it is to be on the other side and feel something like she did! A little scared perhaps??? Love the last line, lol, just too good. Actually love all of it, but will read another of these much earlier in the day. . .Sharon

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

Thanks, ArtGal. I'm glad you were able to grasp the gist of this, at the very least. I could not bear to have to explain it again.

Thanks so much for your too kind and generous review.

reply by ArtGal on 28-Jun-2014

You're so welcome, and you do write horror so very well. I just have to remember not to read late at night. Now I must find a comedy on TV!!! I haven't read your stories, but if they're like this, you should try to sell, and even better, have them made into a movie. I hope you consider this...Sharon

reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

I have, and I have a deal in the works as we speak. I even have the cover art purchased. Look for it around the spring or summer of next year, God willing...

reply by ArtGal on 28-Jun-2014

OMG, you're going to be another Stephen King, and this art cover is spectacular!!! I'm an artist, oil painter, but don't paint like this, lol! Wow, you will sell like crazy! Now you have to find a Hollywood producer to help make your movies. Then I can say that I knew you when you were up and coming, how great that would be!!! I really do wish you the best of luck in your many endeavors. Good luck and God bless...Sharon

reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

Thanks, Sharon. God bless to you & yours as well....Dean

Comment from DanielEkine

Excellent

I really love this writing from the renowned author. Very descriptive with suspense. No wait, it's the officer. How refreshing for a dark heart like mine. Great job. Extremely delightful with a pleasant artwork. Great job with the SPAG command.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

Thanks, Daniel. Now if only a couple more voters had enjoyed it, I might not be sitting here broke with an empty funny money coffer.

I appreciate your too kind review.

Comment from emrpoems

Excellent

Oh, uh ... hello, officer. What brought you here? Care for a beer?"
love the twist here. As usual your writing has intrigue and you have to understand the inner meaning.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

Thanks for "getting it", emrpoems. I couldn't bear to explain it one more time.

I appreciate the review.

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

This is terrific, awesome imagery, and really creepy. The ending blind-sided me, but I loved it. Those serial killers gotta remember they are nuts if they expect to get away with it...lol Great work with this one. You convey a lot in just 100 words.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

Thanks, Smurphgirl, and I'm truly glad that you "get it". I just could not bear to explain it one more time.

I appreciate your kind review and rating.

reply by Sasha on 28-Jun-2014

Really? I am surprised, it seemed so clear and obvious to me...maybe I identify with serial killers...lol

reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

That's why I like you so much, LOL...

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

I had to come back to this and read it more then once. The ending line was very creative. This was a well written short story that I enjoyed reading and writing this response for... John

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

Thanks so much for your very kind comments and generous rating, John. I am truly glad you liked it. Now, if only one more voter had...

Thanks again, my friend.

Comment from elchupakabra

Excellent

I gotta' tell you bud, I don't know if I'm just still morning punch-drunk because I haven't had my coffee yet or what, but I just keep getting confused reading this piece. I don't get how he goes from being in the cellar to getting hit and tied to a chair to suddenly there's a cop in front of him. Where did the girl go? The dialogue feels like it randomly transitions from the girl to the killer. I don't know, I gave it five stars anyways because I just don't even know what's going on lol. I think I might have to go back to bed now.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

Ha ha, here was my intent, 'Chup...

Did the guy really see the girl crawl up out of the grave? He must have, right, even though he's obviously deranged. Someone (or something) tied him up, and he didn't do it to himself.

So, being blind-folded, and having seen what he saw, he had obviously gone further over the edge. Since we know from the beginning he's done this kind of thing before, he has also obviously been a suspect and under close surveillance by the police. When they finally go to question him, and him being blindfolded and =unable to see, when the cops show up at his home to question him, hear all of the screaming from the basement, they rush in and go down to the cellar to see what the commotion is all about. They hear the man's unwitting confession, because the killer thinks the moving around he's hearing is the dead girl's reanimated corpse. The cops remove his blindfold..ta-da! Confession made, evidence apparent, and case closed.

Make sense?

reply by elchupakabra on 28-Jun-2014

Yes that makes so much more sense now lol, I went and read it over and I think it was just me lol.

reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

No, it wasn't just you. Many others didn't get it either.

Comment from ElPoetry001

Excellent

Excellent
Nothing is unseen, everything is recorded in history. Sometimes it is exposed a short time after the event, other times it take years.

Always speak as if others are listening, always act as if others are watching, this is the prelude to your decision as to which road to take.

Many have seen the high road but passed it by, assuming the flights of stairs to get to it were not worth the challenge; they did not consider the rewards.

Anger is a deterrent to wise decisions, and is why a writer once said that revenge is best served cold.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2014

Yes, revenge is a dish best served ice cold, ELPoetry001, my friend.

Thanks for the kind review!