Sins of My Father
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Confessions to Granddad"A coming of age story.
7 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
It's good Rory has his granddad as a confidant. Every young person needs someone they can talk to beyond their friends.
I am at a loss about what grandma Carolyn is upset about. I must have missed something when I was ill. Good job Gretchen. Nancy
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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It's good Rory has his granddad as a confidant. Every young person needs someone they can talk to beyond their friends.
I am at a loss about what grandma Carolyn is upset about. I must have missed something when I was ill. Good job Gretchen. Nancy
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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You didn't miss anything. Grandma Carolyn is upset about something that will be revealed in a later chapter. Thanks for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. This reads true. Ya, damn hormones, sure to confuse a guy.
I am glad Rory is with his Grandpa. I hope he can confide in him, he needs someone...and not Cassie...
padumachitta
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Hi. This reads true. Ya, damn hormones, sure to confuse a guy.
I am glad Rory is with his Grandpa. I hope he can confide in him, he needs someone...and not Cassie...
padumachitta
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Awww! Geee! I was right there when Rory broke down. I remember after I came back from my very first time away as a teenager with my Dad and it was like some kind of reality check or something back with my Mum that had cared for me all the years when Dad was away from us. I bawled my eyes out thanks for helping me think of that.
A suggestion "They never change (n?)either."
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Awww! Geee! I was right there when Rory broke down. I remember after I came back from my very first time away as a teenager with my Dad and it was like some kind of reality check or something back with my Mum that had cared for me all the years when Dad was away from us. I bawled my eyes out thanks for helping me think of that.
A suggestion "They never change (n?)either."
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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I think They never change Neither is a double negative. I could be wrong on that, but my grammar alarm went off so I switched it to either. Thanks for looking out for things though. I hope I didn't make you feel too bummed out. Rory and his mother are something that may never work out. Thank you so much for the wonderful review. Gretchen
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No worries I had a wonderful Mum I loved my dad and look forward to seeing him in glory with Mum one day but as I said in my book it was better he was not around a lot of my life as he would have been a bad influence probably like Rory's Mum in reverse huh! It was good she wasn't around as much as that hurt him.Cheers.
Comment from Misrael
I can hardly wait to find out how this ends and what happens between Rory and this girl cassie. I also look forward to finding out what happens between the family. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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I can hardly wait to find out how this ends and what happens between Rory and this girl cassie. I also look forward to finding out what happens between the family. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review. Stay tuned. I may be posting more than usual this week. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
Good, sounds like Rory found a confidante! He needed one.
You've opened some questions about Grandma Carolyn, though. I don't know if she's going through the change. I took her to be too old for that. Time will tell.
A few things:
She steps up on the bottom step [This just seems to be awkward wording, yet I had the same problem in one of my chapters. I just called it to your attention to see if you think it needs to be changed. It's miniscule.]
"Granddad, hoed you know Grandma Carolyn was the one?" ["granddad, how'd you know (?) I don't know if this is a colloquialism or not. It seems like something you'd have spotted right away, if wrong.]
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Good, sounds like Rory found a confidante! He needed one.
You've opened some questions about Grandma Carolyn, though. I don't know if she's going through the change. I took her to be too old for that. Time will tell.
A few things:
She steps up on the bottom step [This just seems to be awkward wording, yet I had the same problem in one of my chapters. I just called it to your attention to see if you think it needs to be changed. It's miniscule.]
"Granddad, hoed you know Grandma Carolyn was the one?" ["granddad, how'd you know (?) I don't know if this is a colloquialism or not. It seems like something you'd have spotted right away, if wrong.]
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Carolyn is in her mid fifties. She could be going through the change, maybe, maybe not... I agree with the step issue. I just got lazy. I keep saying I am going to invest in a thesaurus but I'm too lazy to go out and buy one. LOL. I fixed the hoed to how'd. Sorry for the messy text. Thank you for the great review. and for not being afraid to tell me what it needs.
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I use the thesaurus on line: www.thesaurus.com. Good enough for my use. It's the lazy man's way. I usually keep it up and minimized while I'm writing, so when I need a synonym I just open it up.
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
Your narratin is straight forward in this chapter. Dialogue sounds natural and mostly wholesome.
You use some expressions I'm not familiar with. This is a minor because it's just a few words here and there.
Your ending regarding Kathleen issadder and more emotional with Rory this time.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Your narratin is straight forward in this chapter. Dialogue sounds natural and mostly wholesome.
You use some expressions I'm not familiar with. This is a minor because it's just a few words here and there.
Your ending regarding Kathleen issadder and more emotional with Rory this time.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Yeah, you got me.
At the beginning in Rory's dialogue, you use the word hoed, and I surely believe you meant how'd, but otherwise it's perfect.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Yeah, you got me.
At the beginning in Rory's dialogue, you use the word hoed, and I surely believe you meant how'd, but otherwise it's perfect.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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I fixed it. I did mean How'd. Thanks for the alert. Thank you so much for the great review. Gretchen
