Graven Images
A lonely man laments the loss of his life-long love...91 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
Such a beautiful piece telling of one who has lost his lifetime soul mate at least for now. I know a precious couple who have been married for 65 years. I can't even imagine one without the other.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Such a beautiful piece telling of one who has lost his lifetime soul mate at least for now. I know a precious couple who have been married for 65 years. I can't even imagine one without the other.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much, Jean. I sincerely appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Kingsland
This poem has great phrases in its thoughts from beginning to end of the poem. I liked the archaic language as well. It always ads flavoring to a poetic message fro me. This was just an excellent piece of poetic art to have read and written this response for... John
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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This poem has great phrases in its thoughts from beginning to end of the poem. I liked the archaic language as well. It always ads flavoring to a poetic message fro me. This was just an excellent piece of poetic art to have read and written this response for... John
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, John!
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hey Dean
Loved this one! You developed a stirring story-line that drew me into the write. You had many wonderful thoughts and projections, but my favorite had to be, "the mirror waits, with time to kill", wow, how profound! I "dug" the ending, too. It wasn't as sad, as I was afraid it was going to be, lol. Thanks! Great job, I'd lay a six on it, but I haven't reloaded, yet. (I'm learning, if you want ALL the stars, post on Sundays, lol.) Thanks for the great read, later, Bill
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Hey Dean
Loved this one! You developed a stirring story-line that drew me into the write. You had many wonderful thoughts and projections, but my favorite had to be, "the mirror waits, with time to kill", wow, how profound! I "dug" the ending, too. It wasn't as sad, as I was afraid it was going to be, lol. Thanks! Great job, I'd lay a six on it, but I haven't reloaded, yet. (I'm learning, if you want ALL the stars, post on Sundays, lol.) Thanks for the great read, later, Bill
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Hah, yep, you're right about posting on Sundays and sixers, Bill, but even then, there are no guarantees. However, that's not really why we do this, is it? The sixes, I mean? We do it because we feel we have something pertinent to convey, some message that's just dying to burst forth from us. The six star reviews are great, sure. But to have someone genuinely enjoy your work is far more rewarding.
I appreciate you and your review, Bill. Much obliged!
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You're right, of course, sixes mean nothing... and I'm learning that out in the big, wide world there's only one grade - passing! Thanks for the thoughts, Bill
Comment from ragamuffin
Such an awesome and intense flow. It should be touching and longing up until the last few stanzas, but there's a sense of something not within the norm, the expected from the start. Well done!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Such an awesome and intense flow. It should be touching and longing up until the last few stanzas, but there's a sense of something not within the norm, the expected from the start. Well done!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Thanks, ragmuffin. I'm very glad you liked it.
Comment from JavaJunkie
This may be one of your best. The meter is tight, making for an excellent t rhythm and a quick read. Your have woven sad longings into your imagery, and little bits of loneliness and despair that give this poem a Poe- like feel. My only complaint is the picture...looks more like a zombie than a grieving widower:)
Unused pillow by his head is a magnificent line!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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This may be one of your best. The meter is tight, making for an excellent t rhythm and a quick read. Your have woven sad longings into your imagery, and little bits of loneliness and despair that give this poem a Poe- like feel. My only complaint is the picture...looks more like a zombie than a grieving widower:)
Unused pillow by his head is a magnificent line!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Thanks, JavaJunkie, and I have been agonizing over that photo since I posted it. I'll most likely end up changing it, especially now (LOL).
I truly appreciate your fine review and stellar rating. Much appreciated!
Comment from elchupakabra
This quatrain was solid Dean. The flow and cadence of the piece was smooth and I thought you had some excellent alliterations in there as well. I love your ability to tell a story within a poem and it should serve you a long way in the judges eyes. Great work and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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This quatrain was solid Dean. The flow and cadence of the piece was smooth and I thought you had some excellent alliterations in there as well. I love your ability to tell a story within a poem and it should serve you a long way in the judges eyes. Great work and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Thank you, 'Chup. I certainly hope you're right, my friend.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Dean:)
I was tempted to wait another day to write my review so I could give you the six stars this brilliant poem deserves.
Although accurate, I do believe your descriptive blurb is somewhat misleading, 'A lonely man laments the loss of his life-long love..' because it tell only the human side of the story and omits the spiritual side.
His wife may be dead to the human world, but her spirit is as lonely as the old man.
What a powerful love story that supersedes death. You set a great mood, at first lonely, then redeemed. Great imagery, mood and cadence. Some may think the story is quite sad, but I find it filled with faith and hope. A real winner that should do well in the contest.
Roger
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Hi Dean:)
I was tempted to wait another day to write my review so I could give you the six stars this brilliant poem deserves.
Although accurate, I do believe your descriptive blurb is somewhat misleading, 'A lonely man laments the loss of his life-long love..' because it tell only the human side of the story and omits the spiritual side.
His wife may be dead to the human world, but her spirit is as lonely as the old man.
What a powerful love story that supersedes death. You set a great mood, at first lonely, then redeemed. Great imagery, mood and cadence. Some may think the story is quite sad, but I find it filled with faith and hope. A real winner that should do well in the contest.
Roger
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Roger, and those shiny six-star reviews aren't truly why we write, are they? We write to touch people through our words (hopefully), to inspire, enlighten and entertain. If you were any of these after having read this, then it was well worth the effort in my book.
Thanks so much for your fabulous review.
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You are so right about why we write. I would far rather writ to educate, entertain pr inspire than to build up my ego with meaningless stars. (Of course I do respect stars for honest reviews by thoughtful reviewers and I do like yo use six stars to encourage writers and show my appreciation of their work.)
I might add that most of my writing has been for money. For over forty years, I paid most of my bill with technical and medical writing. You won't find much of this on FanStory because I don't like to mix business wwith pleasure. That is about to change because I plan to post a series of self help scripts which are designed for CDs and DVDs. This will be a testing ground for new ideas.
I really hope you will put your best work together as a book. I see your work alongside the superstars of the horror and thriller writing.
Roger
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I'll be looking forward to those scripts, Roger.
One day, I hope to have them all in a book. In fact, I am working on it as we speak.
Thanks again!
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Dean,
I really enjoyed this one, great mood setting with description and character's thoughts. Love that he's carving a statue of her as he misses his wife terribly. The last stanza is the cherry on the sundae. Such great imagery and spooky surprise.
Good notes as well, but not needed with this fine write. On second thought, there probably are some folks who wouldn't get it without notes. Sigh
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Hi Dean,
I really enjoyed this one, great mood setting with description and character's thoughts. Love that he's carving a statue of her as he misses his wife terribly. The last stanza is the cherry on the sundae. Such great imagery and spooky surprise.
Good notes as well, but not needed with this fine write. On second thought, there probably are some folks who wouldn't get it without notes. Sigh
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Boy, ain't it the truth, Lou? I mean about the notes thing?
Hey, i really appreciate you taking the time to read and review this for me. Much obliged!
Comment from Twilightspire
Excellent poem. Again you attack it with a perfect melody and rhythm that is both sad and haunting. Your word choices maximized the lonely souls plight.
Overall, an amazing, heartfelt and frightening poem.
Great job.
Kindest regards,
-T.J.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Excellent poem. Again you attack it with a perfect melody and rhythm that is both sad and haunting. Your word choices maximized the lonely souls plight.
Overall, an amazing, heartfelt and frightening poem.
Great job.
Kindest regards,
-T.J.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much for your complimentary review and excellent rating, T.J. I am sincerely glad you liked this one!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Once again your work deserves a six but I have none left for this week. I enjoyed your poem/story. It's a very strong contest entry. I am sure you will do well.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Once again your work deserves a six but I have none left for this week. I enjoyed your poem/story. It's a very strong contest entry. I am sure you will do well.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Barbara, but I'm not too sure. That faceless entity, the one nobody knows the names of, known only as, "The FanStory Committee" has never been too kind as it pertains to my poetic efforts. But, we'll see.
Thanks for the fine review, my friend.
