Comment from amada

Excellent

Great story of a great love. Wow! for sure you know how to get the reader entangled in the story. The subject of "graven image" is new to me so it held my attention with double appeal. Dramatic ending.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014

Thanks you very much, amada. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it.

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

This has got to be without doubt, the best , most atmospheric poem I have ever read, the flow, meter and rhyming are second to none, I awoke with that old man, I rose with that old man, and I was with him in the graveyard, an exceptional poem that I wish I could revisit next week and award a six to.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014

Thank you very much, Eric. With such wonderful praise coming from a talented writer in his own right, that is reward enough for me, and far better than any six star rating.

Thank you again, my friend.

Comment from James Dooney

Excellent

I must admit I like what you have done here. You have described in very solid detail what it is like to miss someone. Well done !

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014

Thank you, James. That's very kind of you. I'm glad you enjoyed my humble offering, my friend.

Comment from Ekim777

Exceptional

It seems there are many facets to this poem as it warns us against creating a graven image of those we loved most. No one doubts the humble and humbling love of this couple. But love like life is transitory and no sentiment or memory can enhance it. The lonely man does an injustice to his loving partner and her parting by replacing the reality with a self styled symbol. This is perhaps the original sin that tempts us and makes our lives hellish. No doubt the man idolized his wife but idolatry is a sin too. We cannot give value to a graven image. -Ekim777

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014

Wow, you nailed it, right on the money, Ekim777. It's almost as if you were inside my head as I wrote this. However, I would advise against staying there too long.

Thanks for such a brilliant assessment of this poem, as well as the six star rating. Both are sincerely appreciated.

Comment from A Matter Of Words

Exceptional

The pain of the husband is felt allowing for the reader' empathy to emerge for his tortured soul. I have told you many times before what a master of the rhyme and verse you are, and this is another shining example of your talent. Outstanding.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014

Thanks so much, Stephanie. That's very kind of you to say, and I'm flattered that you feel that way. Now cross your fingers and let's hope the FanStory Committee sees it the same way you do, LOL.

Thanks so much again, my friend!

reply by A Matter Of Words on 21-Jun-2014

From the perspective of you winning this, I will. Take care and a prayer will go your way....Stephanie

Comment from tbacha58

Excellent

New dawn brushes the skies with pink,

a gorgeous sight, so one would think,

as sunshines shimmer brings the day

yet, quiet in his bed he lay.

I so wanted to chose the whole poem Dean, such an amazing poem from beginning to the end. The reading for me sounded like the sound of music, the flow of your rhyming is incredible, so beautiful to the sound of the ears. I felt so calm reading the beginning , and sad to the end.
Wow, I go again and again when I admire and read your poetry.
Good luck young man for the contest. Hugs Terry xoxo
Sending you my six star from Montreal to shine above you. xoxoxo

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014

Thanks, Terry. You be careful up there! As always, I sincerely appreciate your review and well wishes.

God Bless~

Comment from DR DIP

Exceptional

THE FLOW! MASTER! THE FLOW!..BEHOLD THE FLOW! THE RHYME! THE RHYTHM!..I AM not worthy I AM NOT WORTHY!


LET US PRAY IN THE BIRTHDAY BOY'S TOMMB OF LIFE AND SCAREMONGERNESS!

INSCRIPTION:
"Here lies a man who never proclaimed to be a poet..YET BLOWS EVERYONE OUT OF THE WATER EVERY TIME HE POSTS A POEM!!"

hehe

my mentor speaks again!

as always the student, dipster

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014

Ha, do you realize that you are the only one other than my wife to mention my birthday. Must say something about my character, do you think?

Thanks a bunch, Dip, for the birthday wishes and the outstanding review!

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thank you for sharing the reinforcing artwork and your notes of additional context. I admired the rhymed couplets in these rhythmic quatrains, and your stanza describing the old man's reflection in the mirror is quite powerful. Well done--I only regret having no six to award this splendid work. Keep 'em comin'- Joan

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thanx, Joan, and I know full well when posting on any day other than Sunday that the six star reviews will be few and far between. Yet, that's not the reason I do this for. It's so I can get constructive, supportive comments such as yours that are the most rewarding of all.

Thanks for your outstanding review.

reply by Joan E. on 20-Jun-2014

Many thanks for your positive response. Hugs and happy weekend- Joan

reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

To you as well, Joan.

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

This is scary and romantically tender at the same time. That is a hard mix to achieve successfully, but you have. At last the two lovers are together again, this time forever. Your quatrains are concise with strong rhymes.

I see one small SPAG--I believe you need and "s" at the end of "sit"....

The statue his hands carved with care,
sit silent on the mantle there;

Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thanks, debi, and that's precisely the reason I post these contest entries early. I need help from keen eyes such as yours to spot any errors.

Thanks so much again.

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi Dean,

A beautifully written story of enduring love. You pulled out all the emotional stops with this one, my friend.

Truly well done. Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Keep Smilin'.... Jax

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thanks, Jax. Much appreciated.