Reviews from

Little Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 172 "These Bees"
Small and Specialty Poems

18 total reviews 
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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strong rhyme in good Italian sonnet format
excellent use of alliteration and lovely descriptive detail
a thoughtful explanation of how bees pollinate
I really like the love me/love me not reference
Brooke

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
    Thank you Brooke. I'm smiling.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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This is very well crafted. It is not only written correctly, the simple natural tale of what take for granted is in perfect keeping with the current season. Well done.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
    Thank you Lancelot.
Comment from Rar22
Excellent
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Lovely poem, really nice work with the format and rhyme scheme! I would be able to visualize the image even without the picture because of your strong imagery. I love the alliteration in 'petal's picking plight.' Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
    Thank you very much Rar.
Comment from Delahay
Excellent
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I have never had any formal instruction on writing poetry so I can't say I understand about the Iambic pentameter and such but I do know that I found this poem enjoyable. It points out the importance of the humble bees in the everlasting question of he loves me or not.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
    Thank you Ward. Indeed, that is the everlasting question.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Excellent
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This is a charming Italian sonnet on a pleasant theme, nicely presented. But I can't seem to make the "were" at the end of line 13 fit; it's as though it were stuck on by accident. Otherwise your form seems great. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
    Thank Jeanie.
    It's part of the feminine iambic and also involved in the rhyme scheme.
    Flower
    .. here and now were.
    Now were/ flower. I know is a bit of a stretch, but I was attempting to be clever.
reply by Jeanie Mercer on 08-Jun-2014
    Oh, I see that now. I may need a nap!
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love this sonnet and think you did a masterful job not only with the mechanics, but with the argument as well. I wish you good luck with the judgery. Kenny

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
    Thank you very much Jenny. I appreciate the wonderful rating as well as the high regard.
reply by Kenneth Schaal on 08-Jun-2014
    That's Kenny with a capital K.
Comment from Glasstruth
Excellent
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Wow! What a wonderful poem about nature. Bees are such an important part of our food chain. Not to mention the beauty they provide. Nice rhyming, reads smoothly. Awesome writing! Les

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
    Thank you Les. You brighten my day with such wonderful comments.
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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If the worker bees ever unionized, Nature would go to hell in a basket. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
    Thank you c_lucas. Hah! You make a very good point. Lol.
reply by c_lucas on 08-Jun-2014
    You're welcome.