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Viewing comments for Chapter 84 "Purple Pain"Personal poems
18 total reviews
Comment from sunnilicious
You must feel her pain. And after reading this, maybe... I do do. Terribly good visual imagery created. Creative. Expressive. A lot of alliteration. My favorite: overcomes/overrides/occupies. Nice work. Feel better. God bless you. Peace.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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You must feel her pain. And after reading this, maybe... I do do. Terribly good visual imagery created. Creative. Expressive. A lot of alliteration. My favorite: overcomes/overrides/occupies. Nice work. Feel better. God bless you. Peace.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Thank you Alicia. Your review was very moving too. I appreciate you capturing those particular words as the were not tangential.
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Have a great weekend!
Comment from Victoria K
You have done a brilliant job of expressing pain through the use of imagery and metaphor. There are many examples of this throughout your poem:
Like the Python
Cruelly crushes
Captured prey
A Scorpion's sting
An insidious thing
Your placement of rhyme and repetition are very effective in reinforcing a sense of pain. "Scorpion's sting" "insidious thing" builds on the theme you are creating. By capitalizing and repeating the word "PAIN", the mounting sensation is communicated to the reader.
What a lovely gesture to write, and dedicate this to your wife. I wish her all the best.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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You have done a brilliant job of expressing pain through the use of imagery and metaphor. There are many examples of this throughout your poem:
Like the Python
Cruelly crushes
Captured prey
A Scorpion's sting
An insidious thing
Your placement of rhyme and repetition are very effective in reinforcing a sense of pain. "Scorpion's sting" "insidious thing" builds on the theme you are creating. By capitalizing and repeating the word "PAIN", the mounting sensation is communicated to the reader.
What a lovely gesture to write, and dedicate this to your wife. I wish her all the best.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much Victoria. Your review was as expressive as it was compassionate.
Comment from livelylinda
Author: your poem is a good description of pain. A few months ago, I fell and broke my foot in two places and some complications set in causing me horrid pain. It becomes your total focus and there is room for nothing else and it drains all strength. The picture and colors along with your words result in a good poem. livelylinda
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Author: your poem is a good description of pain. A few months ago, I fell and broke my foot in two places and some complications set in causing me horrid pain. It becomes your total focus and there is room for nothing else and it drains all strength. The picture and colors along with your words result in a good poem. livelylinda
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Thank you livelylinda. Sorry for your own experience. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from linsbm
By the nature of our personality, we cannot eradicate pains in our lives, we need to energize our souls in order to overcome it and succeed.
So illustrious in your description of pain. Excellent words used and in figurative language of your expressions.
Perfect title that substantiate the body of your poem and use of alliteration. Excellent! I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing.} Lin
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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By the nature of our personality, we cannot eradicate pains in our lives, we need to energize our souls in order to overcome it and succeed.
So illustrious in your description of pain. Excellent words used and in figurative language of your expressions.
Perfect title that substantiate the body of your poem and use of alliteration. Excellent! I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing.} Lin
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Thank you Lin.
Comment from TAB_that's me
That is so true! Pain just takes over a life. Right now headaches and dizziness control my life and it has become my new normal - sad. I really liked your poem.
teresa
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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That is so true! Pain just takes over a life. Right now headaches and dizziness control my life and it has become my new normal - sad. I really liked your poem.
teresa
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Thank you Teresa. Yes, my sister gets severe migraines every month. Thanks for your thoughts.
Comment from Capricorn30
So sorry for your wife's pain;
A well-expressed writing of pain intensity, readers feeling the agony of a war which cannot be won easily, if at all;
Poignant and moving, we empathize with you as well as your loved one.
Yeah, dealing with pain is one of the most difficult things to deal with
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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So sorry for your wife's pain;
A well-expressed writing of pain intensity, readers feeling the agony of a war which cannot be won easily, if at all;
Poignant and moving, we empathize with you as well as your loved one.
Yeah, dealing with pain is one of the most difficult things to deal with
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Yes, thank you for your thoughts.
Comment from Fandoodle
I like your descriptions of the pain but comparing it to different creatures in same verse somehow throws it off. Maybe change it to something that uses a cocoon in the first verse and use the python in a different verse? Just my opinion.
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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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I like your descriptions of the pain but comparing it to different creatures in same verse somehow throws it off. Maybe change it to something that uses a cocoon in the first verse and use the python in a different verse? Just my opinion.
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Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Thanks Fandoodle. Some good thoughts.
Comment from me_tudor
This was a great poem and it's so sad for people who have chronic pain that won't go away. If you all have not tried acupunture, you should. It's helps a lot of people. Good luck and prayers for your wife.
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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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This was a great poem and it's so sad for people who have chronic pain that won't go away. If you all have not tried acupunture, you should. It's helps a lot of people. Good luck and prayers for your wife.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Thank you me_tudor for your review and kind words.
