When Drinking too much
Bar tale19 total reviews
Comment from Terrie DeGolier
Laughing so hard can hardly see to write this. OMG this is one of the funniest things I have read yet. The ending is hilarious. Great short story as well, I was surprised to see the picture, must admit one like that was a first. lol Oh lancellot you are a hoot. Thank you for making my day start out with laughter. Terrie
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Laughing so hard can hardly see to write this. OMG this is one of the funniest things I have read yet. The ending is hilarious. Great short story as well, I was surprised to see the picture, must admit one like that was a first. lol Oh lancellot you are a hoot. Thank you for making my day start out with laughter. Terrie
Comment Written 23-May-2014
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Thank you very much. I'm glad it made you laugh.
Comment from tbacha58
Hi, I am sure with this picture, you cut the appetite of lots of women to definitely strop drinking. I did enjoy the poem so much, a deep message to many readers, well done my friend. Hugs Terry xoxo
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Hi, I am sure with this picture, you cut the appetite of lots of women to definitely strop drinking. I did enjoy the poem so much, a deep message to many readers, well done my friend. Hugs Terry xoxo
Comment Written 23-May-2014
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Thank you very much, Terry.
Comment from Muffins
Oh my goodness!!! Lancellot, you sure know how to make an entrance. Seeing that photo made me drop my breakfast back onto my plate. I didn't know whether to laugh or scream. What a brilliant introduction. And now, for the work itself, whew. This has all the classic points of excellent flash fiction. It hits out the gate hard: fantastic internal dialogue, vivid, well chosen details. I'm going to give Becky's no good friends a pass about not having her back and conclude that they were just as drunk as she was and thought the whole Fred thing was a joke. Man, you sure know how to wake up someone's morning. I wish I didn't use up all my six stars!!! This deserves a Ten!
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Oh my goodness!!! Lancellot, you sure know how to make an entrance. Seeing that photo made me drop my breakfast back onto my plate. I didn't know whether to laugh or scream. What a brilliant introduction. And now, for the work itself, whew. This has all the classic points of excellent flash fiction. It hits out the gate hard: fantastic internal dialogue, vivid, well chosen details. I'm going to give Becky's no good friends a pass about not having her back and conclude that they were just as drunk as she was and thought the whole Fred thing was a joke. Man, you sure know how to wake up someone's morning. I wish I didn't use up all my six stars!!! This deserves a Ten!
Comment Written 23-May-2014
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Thank you very much. It was a lot of fun to write.
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi Lancellot.
Very funny post, accompanied by the perfect picture. How alcohol clouds our brains. The best line for me, when he offers to carry her home. I could just envision him cradling her in his arms. Such a romantic! LOL :)
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Hi Lancellot.
Very funny post, accompanied by the perfect picture. How alcohol clouds our brains. The best line for me, when he offers to carry her home. I could just envision him cradling her in his arms. Such a romantic! LOL :)
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 23-May-2014
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Thank you very much, Rosalyne. I should have wrote that in.
Comment from Michaelk
So wrong, so wrong. My eyes... I need a brain scrubber to get this image out of my head, thank you very much.
I don't even want to know where you got that picture.
Your story was good though. I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my stool. Great pacing, and smooth narrative. I was hooked and wondering where you going with it. I never dreamed it would end up in the hospital. Good job.
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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So wrong, so wrong. My eyes... I need a brain scrubber to get this image out of my head, thank you very much.
I don't even want to know where you got that picture.
Your story was good though. I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my stool. Great pacing, and smooth narrative. I was hooked and wondering where you going with it. I never dreamed it would end up in the hospital. Good job.
Comment Written 23-May-2014
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Thank you very much. I had these two pictures and short tales just popped up. Glad you liked it.
Comment from WritingsByG
LOL! Well done, ridiculous, funny, true and sobering.
The photo is priceless.
I'd suggest changing - ...a guy that > a guy who can
...hospital I may > comma after hospital
Thanks
G
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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LOL! Well done, ridiculous, funny, true and sobering.
The photo is priceless.
I'd suggest changing - ...a guy that > a guy who can
...hospital I may > comma after hospital
Thanks
G
Comment Written 23-May-2014
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Thank you very much. Good idea. I will change those.
Comment from Domino 2
Blimey - I hope the female in the pic doesn't suffocate under the wall of blubber. :-)
Well, I'm a fatty too, and I must try Fred's 'irresistible' chat up line next time I go out:
'Becky, you ought...you really shouldn't be driving. Let me carry you. No...that's too far. I...I...will walk you home."
Mind you, knowing my luck, 'Becky' will call the cops. :-)
Fun write.
Cheers, Ted.
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Blimey - I hope the female in the pic doesn't suffocate under the wall of blubber. :-)
Well, I'm a fatty too, and I must try Fred's 'irresistible' chat up line next time I go out:
'Becky, you ought...you really shouldn't be driving. Let me carry you. No...that's too far. I...I...will walk you home."
Mind you, knowing my luck, 'Becky' will call the cops. :-)
Fun write.
Cheers, Ted.
Comment Written 23-May-2014
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Thank you very much, Ted.
Comment from stanishmichelle
I enjoyed reading this very amusing story. The photo is funny and that made the story more delightful. Poor Fred is lovestruck. I liked the part about Youtube. Well done.
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reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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I enjoyed reading this very amusing story. The photo is funny and that made the story more delightful. Poor Fred is lovestruck. I liked the part about Youtube. Well done.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-May-2014
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from surrender
A very well written piece. Bursting with humour. The child sure talks seriously. I liked this part - Not every minute of my short life needs to be posted on Facebook or YouTube. How often we are proud to put up our kid's funny pic on public display. Have we ever asked the kid?
Very imaginative writing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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A very well written piece. Bursting with humour. The child sure talks seriously. I liked this part - Not every minute of my short life needs to be posted on Facebook or YouTube. How often we are proud to put up our kid's funny pic on public display. Have we ever asked the kid?
Very imaginative writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-May-2014
reply by the author on 23-May-2014
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Thank you very much.
