Reviews from

The Bard of Bel Air

Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Poppers Anyone?"
A homeless man sees more than people realize.

10 total reviews 
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Michael, well Winston's paranoia is running a muck...and the girls (Lucy and Ruby) are just taking it in....both girls are playing it cool...time for things to start happing...a lot ore people now...and growing...Love your story...Moving on...Luff Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 25-May-2014

Comment from seaglass
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Winston is so easy to confuse, with his paranoia. This staged some tense moments for the women. It's be interesting when Winston blows.

 Comment Written 23-May-2014

Comment from Nosha17
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This chapter with the Chinese was admirably well-handled. Your characters are distinctively drawn, very believable. The story line great and a most enjoyable read. Faye

 Comment Written 22-May-2014

Comment from ravenblack
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Lucy's deception- the hat and the Chinese mafia - she- and by extension, you- pulled it out of her ass and it is both oddly comic and believable. A good chapter.

 Comment Written 22-May-2014

Comment from Sankey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good chapter mate. Glad you are back on board. having a great time with this.
Some possible spags or whatever you think ok!
(")I hope the two hostesses or servers,(") (?s)he wasn't sure which, "come along with the deal." The other man answered in the affirmative. She got her hairbrush out.



 Comment Written 22-May-2014

Comment from nordicgirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love the little details that elevate this story to the next level. There is always an extra layer of smarts. Perfect depiction of a speed freaks thinking. This shows what a little edge intellectually can do. The girls are just smarter. Great handling of all the complexity. NG

 Comment Written 22-May-2014

Comment from CR Delport
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, Winston was well played. He's paranoid and they used it against him. The girls played it cool. This is another well written chapter.

 Comment Written 22-May-2014

Comment from nelliesellie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The end is getting closer. Winston is now The doctor is hiding things. Winston is getting hi paranoia in full force. He has learned enough to expect the Chinese to turn on him. He wants to get them first. Luck and Ruby are in the middle of it. Great work.

 Comment Written 21-May-2014

Comment from Michaelk
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very nice touch making ruby turn Winston against the Chinese. And she did it with one sentence, amazing. The doctor's paranoid pills are working a little too well. He's going to end up regretting giving him them. I just love how Winston thinks he's slick and doesn't even see that he's being conned. Excellent chapter as always.

 Comment Written 21-May-2014

Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So Winston believed Ruby over Khin, not knowing anythign about her. Just goes to show how paranoid he is, and that will get him hurt for sure. :)

 Comment Written 21-May-2014