Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 60 "Wazuzu Moon"Murder Mystery
36 total reviews
Comment from Joy Graham
Wow! This is a fantastic story, Bev :). You have me on the edge of my seat with suspense. I have several novels on my nightstand that. I just can't get into. Yours is a story readers won't be able to put down. I'm anxious to get into the supernatural stuff. Keep writing, my friend. You have talent that will make you a bestseller!
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Wow! This is a fantastic story, Bev :). You have me on the edge of my seat with suspense. I have several novels on my nightstand that. I just can't get into. Yours is a story readers won't be able to put down. I'm anxious to get into the supernatural stuff. Keep writing, my friend. You have talent that will make you a bestseller!
Comment Written 19-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Joy, thank you so much. I'm plotting my finale as we speak. A few more loose ends to put in place and a set-up for what I hope will be a satisfactory ending for my loyal fan/friends. Hugs, Bev
Comment from JW
Hmm. That was definitely an unexpected ending. One cannot help but wonder to where it is leading.
Thanks for sharing this well written chapter. JW
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hmm. That was definitely an unexpected ending. One cannot help but wonder to where it is leading.
Thanks for sharing this well written chapter. JW
Comment Written 19-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hiya, Jonathon. Thanks for taking time out to read. I appreciate the support! :) Bev
Comment from irishauthorme
Exceptionally well written. Because my endeavors keep me away from the screen for long periods, I have been unable to keep up with much of your story. I do appreciate good, tight writing, and your characters jump into life as you move them and let them speak. Obviously well-researched, lends authority to your story.
irish
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Exceptionally well written. Because my endeavors keep me away from the screen for long periods, I have been unable to keep up with much of your story. I do appreciate good, tight writing, and your characters jump into life as you move them and let them speak. Obviously well-researched, lends authority to your story.
irish
Comment Written 19-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Irish, thank you so very much. I'm honored by your encouraging words and generosity. Thank you for choosing to take time out from your busy schedule to read my chapter. That's most kind of you.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
"Unexpressed was his fear that Edward Pearce MAY already have skipped the area...: MIGHT to keep it in past tense.
Good chapter, Bev. You're keeping the plot tight, holding your characters to their role. In spite of the inherent problems in just reading a chapter every week or so, I'm still intrigued by the story. That's good writing, Bev. Well done!
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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"Unexpressed was his fear that Edward Pearce MAY already have skipped the area...: MIGHT to keep it in past tense.
Good chapter, Bev. You're keeping the plot tight, holding your characters to their role. In spite of the inherent problems in just reading a chapter every week or so, I'm still intrigued by the story. That's good writing, Bev. Well done!
Comment Written 19-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hi, Adrienne. Thanks so much, my friend, for hanging in there with me. I know that some of this material is not in alignment with your own beliefs, so I'm especially thankful for your continued support. And thanks for catching that tense issue. Of course you're right! Hugs, Bev
Comment from A Matter Of Words
I am glad I had a six to give you. This is the first chapter I have read of this work and I am impressed. The story held my attention from the first sentence to the last. The story galloped along with the excellent, realistic dialogue. Outstanding.
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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I am glad I had a six to give you. This is the first chapter I have read of this work and I am impressed. The story held my attention from the first sentence to the last. The story galloped along with the excellent, realistic dialogue. Outstanding.
Comment Written 19-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Thank you so very much AMOW. I'm honored by your generous and encouraging review. I appreciate you taking time to read.
Warm regards, Bev
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The pleasure was mine. I love the way the word Wazuzu rolls off the tongue.
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I do too, Stephanie. The Sioux culture endlessly fascinates me.
:) Bev
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Any idea what it means? I love that so many of the names of the cities and towns in the Okanagan Valley in BC were named by the original People's or are the names of the tribes themselves. I also find it fascinating.
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It's translation is butcher. As in to butcher a buffalo, etc. I've been using an online Sioux translator which works pretty well. I try to tie the moon names into the chapter's theme. :)
Comment from judiverse
This is really filled with excitement and chills. The hospital scene about the disappearing blood is spooky. When a reasonable person like Maggie thinks it calls for investigation, Sheriff doesn't dismiss it but has a guard posted by Agnes's room. Then there's the matter of Jana not responding to her calls. The exorcist, Father Fred, is interesting, and the dialogue between him and the sheriff is excellent. Edward's soul certainly isn't worth saving, but Father Fred says it's Father Brian he's worried about. Excellent chapter, and it gets six stars from me! judi
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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This is really filled with excitement and chills. The hospital scene about the disappearing blood is spooky. When a reasonable person like Maggie thinks it calls for investigation, Sheriff doesn't dismiss it but has a guard posted by Agnes's room. Then there's the matter of Jana not responding to her calls. The exorcist, Father Fred, is interesting, and the dialogue between him and the sheriff is excellent. Edward's soul certainly isn't worth saving, but Father Fred says it's Father Brian he's worried about. Excellent chapter, and it gets six stars from me! judi
Comment Written 19-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hi, Judi. There's so much good writing on the site, so I'm always really honored when someone gives me one of their precious sixes. And thank you for your continued support. I'm tying up some loose ends as I move into position for the final chapter. I appreciate for your generosity and encouragement. xx Bev
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You're so welcome. The finale should really be a powerhouse. judi
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I'm planning it to be, judi. Hopefully, it will satisfy all my loyal fan/friends. xx Bev
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi writingfundimension,
Terrific chapter, the sherif comes across as being between believing and denial, and the exorcist is obviously a man of some inner strength. Now they'd best get out to that reservation and deal with this demon.
Patrick
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hi writingfundimension,
Terrific chapter, the sherif comes across as being between believing and denial, and the exorcist is obviously a man of some inner strength. Now they'd best get out to that reservation and deal with this demon.
Patrick
Comment Written 19-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hi, Patrick. Now that most of my ducks are in a row, I'm ready to get this novel to its conclusion. I really appreciate your support and your incredibly generous review for this chapter.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh, wonderful! Just riveting. I couldn't stop reading if the house was on fire! (LOL_almost) Once again, this was so easy to picture, Bev - it's like the best movie, and I don't want to tear my eyes away from it for a second. I'm not much help as a reviewer I guess because I see nothing needing any change, but boy, I'm a fan! :0) Next chapter please! Hurry! LOL
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Oh, wonderful! Just riveting. I couldn't stop reading if the house was on fire! (LOL_almost) Once again, this was so easy to picture, Bev - it's like the best movie, and I don't want to tear my eyes away from it for a second. I'm not much help as a reviewer I guess because I see nothing needing any change, but boy, I'm a fan! :0) Next chapter please! Hurry! LOL
Comment Written 19-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hi, Dawn. Thank you, dear friend, for this so-generous review. And, even more, for your words of encouragement. I just so appreciate you! Love, Bev
Comment from emrpoems
An excellent chapter holding the reader's interest throughout.
good use of dialogue
Lots of suspense and great visuals
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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An excellent chapter holding the reader's interest throughout.
good use of dialogue
Lots of suspense and great visuals
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Thank you so very much, E. Mighty nice of you to stop by and read. I appreciate your generous and encouraging review. :) Bev
Comment from Jay Squires
Bev, in my suggestions below, know they are suggestions. Rather than pussy-foot around each one, I'll just come out and say it. Just know so much is just this writer's opinion.
Sheriff Oleson felt like he was trapped in the caboose of a runaway train. [Bev, are you using the omniscient point of view in this novel? I know that Derek plays into just about every paragraph and I can see he is the protagonist. So, it's just a question of whether you are going to be getting into his mind as well as Sheriff Oleson's]
His fingers itched to punch out the ME's number [Do you mean to punch IN the ME's number, as on a phone? To me, punch out means to fight.]
a consummate talent for covering his own ass. [Ha! Love it!]
Derek shifted his feet beneath his chair and moved closer to his desk. "Define unnatural." [Brilliant use of descriptive behavior, before he makes his request.]
Derek nodded, "Good idea." [Should be a period after "idea", not a comma.]
Derek nodded, "Good idea." [Does Ron know that Jana's cousin is Ty? If he does, then you should remove his name, since it smacks of feeding the reader information through dialogue.]
[Okay, you've answered my question about POV with "and was feeling the side effects of his self-denial." And to do have a section break to go into his viewpoint. Good! Thought I had you there, Bev. LOL.]
Wow! This is an impressive chapter, Bev. Tell me, is Father Brian the priest who went out with his dog? At least a dog was in that scene. And some cookies. It's been a while ago.
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Bev, in my suggestions below, know they are suggestions. Rather than pussy-foot around each one, I'll just come out and say it. Just know so much is just this writer's opinion.
Sheriff Oleson felt like he was trapped in the caboose of a runaway train. [Bev, are you using the omniscient point of view in this novel? I know that Derek plays into just about every paragraph and I can see he is the protagonist. So, it's just a question of whether you are going to be getting into his mind as well as Sheriff Oleson's]
His fingers itched to punch out the ME's number [Do you mean to punch IN the ME's number, as on a phone? To me, punch out means to fight.]
a consummate talent for covering his own ass. [Ha! Love it!]
Derek shifted his feet beneath his chair and moved closer to his desk. "Define unnatural." [Brilliant use of descriptive behavior, before he makes his request.]
Derek nodded, "Good idea." [Should be a period after "idea", not a comma.]
Derek nodded, "Good idea." [Does Ron know that Jana's cousin is Ty? If he does, then you should remove his name, since it smacks of feeding the reader information through dialogue.]
[Okay, you've answered my question about POV with "and was feeling the side effects of his self-denial." And to do have a section break to go into his viewpoint. Good! Thought I had you there, Bev. LOL.]
Wow! This is an impressive chapter, Bev. Tell me, is Father Brian the priest who went out with his dog? At least a dog was in that scene. And some cookies. It's been a while ago.
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hi, Jay. Thanks for the so-helpful insights and suggestions. I really appreciate your generosity and encouragement.
Yes, Father Brian is the priest who has the Sheltie. He's currently with Jana at the reservation (or is he? hehehehe)
Kind regards, Bev
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You dickens!
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:)))
