A Shift in Awareness
Everything is conspiring for good.44 total reviews
Comment from catch22
Hi Shari! What a wonderful tanka about the cycle of life, death and rebirth. I love the pivot line used. It ties the whole poem together and elevates the tone to one of spirituality. Very nicely penned.
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Hi Shari! What a wonderful tanka about the cycle of life, death and rebirth. I love the pivot line used. It ties the whole poem together and elevates the tone to one of spirituality. Very nicely penned.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Thanks, gail. In view of this, I relabeled it spiritual poetry.
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Shari.
This is a beautiful poem of creativity. What begins as an idea transforms into something. I really like the last line,"We move to a higher plane." Well done. Best of luck in the contest.
Bye
Rosalyne:)
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Hi, Shari.
This is a beautiful poem of creativity. What begins as an idea transforms into something. I really like the last line,"We move to a higher plane." Well done. Best of luck in the contest.
Bye
Rosalyne:)
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Thanks, Rosalyn, for quoting what to me is the most important line.
Comment from judiverse
Wonderful thought, and beautifully expressed. Good luck in the contest and I won't be surprised to see you in the winners' circle. The poem reads very smoothly, and the wording is excellent. "Transformation seen" makes a great line. "when thought moves to creation we move to a higher plane" is really wonderful. judi
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Wonderful thought, and beautifully expressed. Good luck in the contest and I won't be surprised to see you in the winners' circle. The poem reads very smoothly, and the wording is excellent. "Transformation seen" makes a great line. "when thought moves to creation we move to a higher plane" is really wonderful. judi
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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A six from a top writer. How good that makes me feel. Hope you're right. I'd be happy just to place.
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You're so welcome. I do think this is a great contender. judi
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Creating something from practically nothing...we do it and animals do it. But HOW we do it makes humans different. We can imagine first and then create what we see in our minds. Birds, on the other hand, are born knowing how to build a nest. Spiders, with no real brains at all, know how to weave a web. To me, THAT is even more amazing than how humans do it. How can such a complex instinct exist in such tiny brains? It's always amazed me... even more than abstract thought that WE have.
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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Creating something from practically nothing...we do it and animals do it. But HOW we do it makes humans different. We can imagine first and then create what we see in our minds. Birds, on the other hand, are born knowing how to build a nest. Spiders, with no real brains at all, know how to weave a web. To me, THAT is even more amazing than how humans do it. How can such a complex instinct exist in such tiny brains? It's always amazed me... even more than abstract thought that WE have.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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It is amazing. God did nature a big favor. :-)
Comment from Terrie DeGolier
Isn't it amazing how they can weave those little branches, plastic bags at times, whatever they find to build a home with no blue prints to follow. Terrie
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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Isn't it amazing how they can weave those little branches, plastic bags at times, whatever they find to build a home with no blue prints to follow. Terrie
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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I like the way you put that, Terre
Comment from royowen
There is a delightful ambiguity to this tanka contest entry, this is a difficult poetic form to develop a meaningful dialogue in this limiting style, but you would have to stand a chance in this contest! Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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There is a delightful ambiguity to this tanka contest entry, this is a difficult poetic form to develop a meaningful dialogue in this limiting style, but you would have to stand a chance in this contest! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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What a wonderful review, Roy. Thanks so much for encouraging my poetic abilities.
Comment from Domino 2
Excellent elaboration of 'action speaks louder than words'. Shari.
Also with the inference we can turn rubbish and maybe unlikely things into things of beauty and practicality.
Excellent pivot line too.
Cheers, Ted
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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Excellent elaboration of 'action speaks louder than words'. Shari.
Also with the inference we can turn rubbish and maybe unlikely things into things of beauty and practicality.
Excellent pivot line too.
Cheers, Ted
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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Thanks, Ted for your insightful comments.
Comment from chasennov
A Shift in Awareness.' This is a lovely tanka poem you have crafted here, girl. I'm just sorry I cannot spend more time reading and reviewing your work. Things may change later for the better. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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A Shift in Awareness.' This is a lovely tanka poem you have crafted here, girl. I'm just sorry I cannot spend more time reading and reviewing your work. Things may change later for the better. Well done.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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Thanks, chase. I have to cut down on my reviewing too. Not enough hours in the day.
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Unfortunately, it is a fact.
Comment from tfawcus
Absolutely spot-on construction of your tanka - almost as marvellous as the bird's nest itself. The pivot line sits comfortably with either half and the human connection drawn from this observation of nature gains emphasis from the parallel. A fine piece of poetry.
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Absolutely spot-on construction of your tanka - almost as marvellous as the bird's nest itself. The pivot line sits comfortably with either half and the human connection drawn from this observation of nature gains emphasis from the parallel. A fine piece of poetry.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Thanks, Tony, for the exceptional review. It's nice to know someone understands the "mechanics" or making of a true tanka.
Comment from LIJ Red
Unless of course our talents are such that we wish we could twist our deeds back into thoughts then unthink 'em. But this seems like an excellent entry...
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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Unless of course our talents are such that we wish we could twist our deeds back into thoughts then unthink 'em. But this seems like an excellent entry...
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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Wouldn't that be wonderful. How oft I've wished to rewind the clock by just a few minutes.
