The Bard of Bel Air
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Gang's All Here"A homeless man sees more than people realize.
13 total reviews
Comment from seaglass
It's a relief to have father and daughter reunited. And romance sparks always keep things spicy. Readers will be relieved when Winston bites the dust and I kinda think the boy's mom may be in the evil mix to some extent.
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It's a relief to have father and daughter reunited. And romance sparks always keep things spicy. Readers will be relieved when Winston bites the dust and I kinda think the boy's mom may be in the evil mix to some extent.
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from Michaelk
Good chapter. Once again plenty of intrigue and suspense.
Partway through you started saying 'Brewster' instead of 'Harpster'. Was that a mistake or did I miss something? Another head scratcher for me was when diamond had the idea to blow the whistle, Q came after her pretty hard. It seemed to me like he was laying her low instead of just saying I don't think that will work. Can't wait for the next chapter. Looks like Lincoln has had it.
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Good chapter. Once again plenty of intrigue and suspense.
Partway through you started saying 'Brewster' instead of 'Harpster'. Was that a mistake or did I miss something? Another head scratcher for me was when diamond had the idea to blow the whistle, Q came after her pretty hard. It seemed to me like he was laying her low instead of just saying I don't think that will work. Can't wait for the next chapter. Looks like Lincoln has had it.
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Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I'd leave out any relationship stuff now with the action part coming up. Just ONE small scene with Harp and Ruby, something tender. Maybe one with Diamond... she IS the girl's mom, after all. Just short scenes with each of the relationships to say "in case I don't come back, I want you to know how much I care... blah, blah." That's my suggestion.Then move on with the intrigue and let the rest of the people stuff just run in the background, assumed, maybe a hint of a glance or a thought here and there.
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I'd leave out any relationship stuff now with the action part coming up. Just ONE small scene with Harp and Ruby, something tender. Maybe one with Diamond... she IS the girl's mom, after all. Just short scenes with each of the relationships to say "in case I don't come back, I want you to know how much I care... blah, blah." That's my suggestion.Then move on with the intrigue and let the rest of the people stuff just run in the background, assumed, maybe a hint of a glance or a thought here and there.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-May-2014
