Understanding Humanity
Flash Fiction Contest-Fury28 total reviews
Comment from Tatarka2
I gave this a 5 because it's written by you. Really, though, I don't think it's one of your best. It sounds like it could be written by a participant in the Hunger Games, or a teenager playing a video game ("die, die, only I will win!"). I'm not sure this emotion is as much rage as it is a frantic need to prevail and/or survive.
  |
I gave this a 5 because it's written by you. Really, though, I don't think it's one of your best. It sounds like it could be written by a participant in the Hunger Games, or a teenager playing a video game ("die, die, only I will win!"). I'm not sure this emotion is as much rage as it is a frantic need to prevail and/or survive.
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. You had my attention all the way through it. I was wondering, 'What kind of weird society has Mickey come up with this time? Your last sentences straightened it all out I enjoyed that read.Sperm!
|
I love the picture. You had my attention all the way through it. I was wondering, 'What kind of weird society has Mickey come up with this time? Your last sentences straightened it all out I enjoyed that read.Sperm!
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hah ha, the race of a stream of sperm to fertilize the egg has never been told in such a personified way before, I don't believe, Michael. Yet, this is what you've managed to do here, in your flash fiction tail...er --heh heh, I meant TALE, "Understanding Humanity". Sorry for the Freudian slip-up there.
It seems we're destined to be a cut-throat species even from conception. Always running that rat race to be numero uno -- the very best of the best...the cream of the crop. How far we get often depends upon the toes we trample upon to get there, how many efforts we choose to ignore while promoting our own Herculean agendas. Que sera...sera.
That's life as we know it.
|
Hah ha, the race of a stream of sperm to fertilize the egg has never been told in such a personified way before, I don't believe, Michael. Yet, this is what you've managed to do here, in your flash fiction tail...er --heh heh, I meant TALE, "Understanding Humanity". Sorry for the Freudian slip-up there.
It seems we're destined to be a cut-throat species even from conception. Always running that rat race to be numero uno -- the very best of the best...the cream of the crop. How far we get often depends upon the toes we trample upon to get there, how many efforts we choose to ignore while promoting our own Herculean agendas. Que sera...sera.
That's life as we know it.
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from Hadria
Clever, clever writing, and serious food for thought, the end is just brilliant, one of those clever ideas that are so obvious you don't see them coming.
Two tiny suggestions: 3rd para, 3rd line 'The'should be 'They'.
6th and 8th paras "Worry about yourself fool" will be stronger with punctuation "Worry about yourself, Fool! and
ditto ""Aside, you dolt!"
Very neat piece of flash fiction. Good luck in the contest. Hadria
 |
Clever, clever writing, and serious food for thought, the end is just brilliant, one of those clever ideas that are so obvious you don't see them coming.
Two tiny suggestions: 3rd para, 3rd line 'The'should be 'They'.
6th and 8th paras "Worry about yourself fool" will be stronger with punctuation "Worry about yourself, Fool! and
ditto ""Aside, you dolt!"
Very neat piece of flash fiction. Good luck in the contest. Hadria
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Hello there~
This is such a nice flash fiction..Just amazing..I loved the end..In the beginning I didn't get ti, but at the end it was all clear..Great Job and Good Luck~!
|
Hello there~
This is such a nice flash fiction..Just amazing..I loved the end..In the beginning I didn't get ti, but at the end it was all clear..Great Job and Good Luck~!
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from CR Delport
I think that depicts the selfish nature of humans quite well. This is very well written and makes for a good read. Good luck in the contest.
|
I think that depicts the selfish nature of humans quite well. This is very well written and makes for a good read. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Mikey.
This is very well done, and had me thinking at first you were racing, than the forces of nature. It wasn't until the end I went ahh... and realized the battle. Very well told. The seed to life. Best of luck in the contest.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
|
Hi, Mikey.
This is very well done, and had me thinking at first you were racing, than the forces of nature. It wasn't until the end I went ahh... and realized the battle. Very well told. The seed to life. Best of luck in the contest.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Aaahhh!
Absolutely magnificent,
Did not realize the ending till it grabbed me.
I love the way you write with the element of suspense and surprise,
Well done
|
Aaahhh!
Absolutely magnificent,
Did not realize the ending till it grabbed me.
I love the way you write with the element of suspense and surprise,
Well done
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from c_lucas
The earth is overcrowded, but Nature will take care of the problem in due time. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
|
The earth is overcrowded, but Nature will take care of the problem in due time. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from Nosha17
Let's hope this is Science Fiction and not a prediction of things to come. Scary kind of world that would be. Good use of language in the narrative and descriptions. Effective piece of flash fiction. Just a reminder, I know you don't mind, but you are a bit behind on reviewing my poems, quite a few. I just like to get your opinion as it always served me well. I know you are busy, so when you find time. Faye
|
Let's hope this is Science Fiction and not a prediction of things to come. Scary kind of world that would be. Good use of language in the narrative and descriptions. Effective piece of flash fiction. Just a reminder, I know you don't mind, but you are a bit behind on reviewing my poems, quite a few. I just like to get your opinion as it always served me well. I know you are busy, so when you find time. Faye
Comment Written 08-May-2014
