Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Very nicely written supernatural flash fiction with if course, the additional photos from somewhere I would have no clue in getting them from.

I normally don't read vampires, supernatural or fsntasy, but this one kept me interested. Nicely done. John

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Thanks for your kind comments and review, John. All of the photos I get from photobucket, in my personal library.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

COol story. Satan is probably immune to burning by now, as he lives in hellfire, so they only think they killed him. He just went to Hell to have a nap... he'll be back. :)

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Could be, Phyllis...maybe I was setting things up for a sequel. Remember the cold breeze that Joshua felt go through him? What if it didn't go through? What if it decided to stop right were it was?

Thanks for your kind comments and your review, Phyllis. It's always a pleasure.

Comment from Cajungirl

Excellent

Excellent job, your story is a perfect supernatural contest entry. I got the Na'tas name right away. There is a couple here, years ago, who named their daughter Satanna Natas. Isn't that just awful?

I loved the story, the illustrations are outstanding, this story will be very hard to beat. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Thanks so much, Cajungirl, and I hope you're right!

Wow, what kind of parent would name their child such a thing? That's pretty darn scary in and of itself...Geesh!

reply by Cajungirl on 08-May-2014

That was indeed the worse name I ever heard.

Comment from sibhus

Excellent

Whoa, nice descriptions that have a sense of the old west. Well, at least the old west those of us that were raised on Bonanza and Gunsmoke know. Quick and to the point, and definitely filled with the supernatural, ha, ha. Good piece and good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Hah, yep, Gunsmoke, Bonzanza, F-Troop and The Rifleman...I watched 'em all, sibhus, could you tell? LOL...

The contest said to have "fun" with this, so I did. It sure was a blast to write, and I really appreciate your encouraging review, my friend!

Comment from Kausar_Javeria

Excellent

Hey there~
This is an interesting and amazing piece of flash fiction..It's really well-written, I loved it..Good Luck in the contest and God Bless~!

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Thank you very much Kausar_Javeria, my friend! I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and I'm very grateful to you for your kind comments.

May God bless you and yours as well!

Comment from Rosalyne

Excellent

Hi,
What a great story! This is so well told and captures the supernatural perfectly. The photographs blended with the story add further depth. I like your note at the bottom. Very cleaver choice of names. Best of luck in the contest!
Bye
Rosalyne :)

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Thanks so much, Rosalyne, I'm very pleased to know that you enjoyed it! The contest said to "have fun" with it, so I did, and it certainly was a fun little story to write. Heck, I just might make Jubile a series later on, when time allows.

Thanks for your encouraging review, my friend!

Comment from Twilightspire

Exceptional

Excellent work. It kind of reminds me of Ghost Rider a little.
I love that you set this story in the ole West. It added so much more flavor to the whole piece.
The dialogue was perfect, catching that drawl is hard on paper, but you nailed it.
I would love to see this expanded into a series of shorts, if you had the time. That way, we could explore the character a bit more.
Great job and good luck with the contest.
-T.J.

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Thank you, TJ, I really appreciate the dynamite review and feedback!

I was hoping to get feedback on the dialogue portion of this, as it is an integral part to the story working as a whole. I'm relieved to hear from someone who knows what they're talking about that it sounded authentic, that's a huge weight off of my mind!

I am considering making this into a series, when time allows. You feel it could be successful? There are certainly a lot of avenues I could explore, certainly enough to write an entire novel, I would think.

Thanks again for everything, I greatly appreciate it!

reply by Twilightspire on 08-May-2014

Absolutely! This type of supernatural story could have tons of potential and with a character that is essentially already dead, if you mine out the old west, you could conceivably put it in any time period.
I know for a fact I would read it.
Getting the idiom down in stories is something I really look for in dialogue. I want to be able to hear it when I'm reading it and you did a great job keeping it authentic. That's a huge bonus for me and the story was awesome.

reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Thanks again, T.J! I'm honored that you think so. I can hardly get anyone to read it, for some reason, even though it is promoted on the front page. Go figure, I thought I had something good going here...

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Very chilling. I like that it was set back in the hangin' days of the west. Very authentic voice of the characters and I liked how you didn't really give us the ending. Just enough to whet our appetites. Well done. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Thank you very much, GW. I'm so pleased to know that you enjoyed the story. I appreciate your encouraging comments.

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

Hmmmm. Now I wonder who could possibly have written this blind entry? Well, I challenged you to write a western, and here it is.

Well done.

Peace, Lee



Landsend--one word or two?

priests (no apostrophe)

Jubile is spelled two different ways.

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Thanks very much for pointing out those errors for me, Lee, as well as your encouraging review. I'll fix those straight away. I appreciate it, and peace to you as well!

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Effective use of non-verbal communication
with the smirking and raking a hand over his chin
demons/cannibalism/burning alive/ a name that is Satan spelled backwards - lots of cringe-worthy stuff in this one :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Thanks, Brooke, it does my heart good to hear that you thought so. I truly appreciate you weighing in on this one for me, and I'm grateful for your encouraging review.

Thanks a bunch!