Comment from DALLAS01

Exceptional

Wow, Dean, this is winner. I love the surprises that are tucked away in the beginning of the story, and then jump out and grab you at the end.

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

---

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014

Thanks, DALLAS. I hesitated a bit to do the "baby talk" at first. But, I wanted my readers to think hat Selena Santiago was a child, and in the beginning when I was writing it, she was. But, I switched up the ending, to add more of a "twist", to comply with the contest rule. I'm really glad you liked it.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Now I will have to get down and check under my bed, then the closets and pantry. If I had your talent, Dean, I would think about a series of novels Very well done. Wait a minute, something just slipped under computer desk......................

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

---

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014

Ah-h-h-hhhhhhhhh, run, Charlie, run! Why, you ask? because my daughter's teddy bear is nowhere to be found. Could it be... Nah, never mind...

8>}

reply by c_lucas on 29-Apr-2014

LOL. Being a cripple, I don't run, but I can crawl pretty fast.

reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014

8>}

Then crawl quickly, dear Charlie!

God bless, my friend!

Comment from AnonymousWisdom

Excellent

Bu...but, daddy, Teddy is downstairs
You forgot to begin this line of dialogue with quotes.

I really liked this! The ending (with Selena being older) was a surprise, something I really didn't expect!
The topic was well-expressed and perfect for the contest.
I really enjoyed reading this! :)

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

---

reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014

Thanks very much for catching that, Anonymous! I'll fix that right away!

I am really glad you liked the story, and the twist. Much obliged!

Comment from daeneam

Excellent

Cleverly done my friend! This piece will surely win. It's hard to make a complete story with just 500 words but you managed to follow the contest prompt! The graphics fit your story and I wish you well in the competition! c", Mae

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

---

reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014

Thanks so much, Mae, I really appreciate it, and I'm very glad you enjoyed the story. Be sure to cast your vote as the contest is now open. If not for this entry, then for one of the many fine tales of terror in the contest. I feel it's very important to support those who enter these contests, and all too often, people never vote for some reason. I'm sure my competitors would appreciate it!

reply by daeneam on 27-Apr-2014

I would like to vote for you my friend, but I haven't upgraded my membership yet. With or without my vote, I am confident you'll win this one again!

reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014

I got 'cha, daeneam, and you should upgrade. After the first year of paid member ship, the site offers you two years for the price of one. The feedback you receive on this website rivals any other of which I'm a member. It's money well spent, if you want to write.

Thanks so much again!

reply by daeneam on 27-Apr-2014

Yup! But I have nothing yet to post. I have to contact PayPal because of some error in my account. I'll be upgrading soon, don't worry! God bless you! c", Mae

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Wow that was really bloody! Congrats on winning a first with "Murder most Fowl" Dean. I knew it would win! It was exceptional. All your special effects are shocking. LOL Good job. Nancy

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

---

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014

Thanks, Nancy! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed the stroy.

Comment from joneau2

Excellent

Whew, in keeping with your ability, this was an excellent "scary" tale written in so few words. I never expected it to be the daughter, and that she was an adult. Only question: what was her father doing at the time?

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

---

reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014

He was trying to get to a phone, albeit with stealth, I'd imagine. Probably left his cell phone downstairs. Isn't that the way all horror movies and stories go, lol?

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi Dean Kuch,

Well, I didn't scream, but that young lady is seriously bad news ... As for blaming Teddy, that's a bad one. I've always rather liked them.

Patrick

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

---

reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014

Hah, thanks, Patrick, but they've always scared the beejeezus outta me! I can't really say why, exactly. They're just...creepy.

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

I am so glad that the bear did not turn out to be a demented cross between Ted and Chucky...You are too good for that, and you proved it here. There is a distinct link between this and your recent ventriloquist poem. Only in this case, she controls the dummy. Or does she?

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

---

reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014

That's right, or does she indeed? Thanks for reading and reviewing this little terror tale for me, rb. I sure do appreciate it.

Comment from sibhus

Excellent

Nice twist, I was expecting that at all. I guess I thought the bear would turn out to be a Chuckie like thing, or an alien scouting drone that had attached itself to the little girl, or a cursed South American mummy, or a Japanese robot lost in L.A., but this wa sunexpected. Good job there, Dean and good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

---

reply by the author on 29-Apr-2014

Thanks, sibhus, I appreciate it, and I'm really glad you enjoyed the story.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Exceptional

This is one of those stories that is special to me. It billboards people's fragility and the thin line that separates us all by a single word or slap from madness. Great job. :-)

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014