The Bard of Bel Air
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "More Relatives and Visiting a Friend"A homeless man sees more than people realize.
15 total reviews
Comment from Michaelk
Another good chapter. I like the chatty grandma in the basement angle. Lucy needs to take it slow though, otherwise she might catch on. Although, she seems like she may be willing to help if told the truth. I can't imagine that a billionaire wouldn't have a more sophisticated video system.
  |
Another good chapter. I like the chatty grandma in the basement angle. Lucy needs to take it slow though, otherwise she might catch on. Although, she seems like she may be willing to help if told the truth. I can't imagine that a billionaire wouldn't have a more sophisticated video system.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Nagahito smell my feeto << LOL! I love the Bard! :)
___
She looked angry. She continued with a little smile
You lost me for a moment here. Suggest you use EMMA for the first SHE so we can keep track... you have two SHEs in a row.. better to break it up with an EMMA anyway.
___
There is no question that you have talent, Mikey. This is a great chapter, as are all of them in this new book. I have a suggestion though.. stop telling readers that you have no clue where you're going! LOL! A writer should at least pretend he has the story in his head somewhere. I refer to this, in the notes:
How do you like the direction this is going. It is a surprise to me.
I wouldn't recommend you say you are surprised by your own story! LOL! You are so adorable. :)
|
Nagahito smell my feeto << LOL! I love the Bard! :)
___
She looked angry. She continued with a little smile
You lost me for a moment here. Suggest you use EMMA for the first SHE so we can keep track... you have two SHEs in a row.. better to break it up with an EMMA anyway.
___
There is no question that you have talent, Mikey. This is a great chapter, as are all of them in this new book. I have a suggestion though.. stop telling readers that you have no clue where you're going! LOL! A writer should at least pretend he has the story in his head somewhere. I refer to this, in the notes:
How do you like the direction this is going. It is a surprise to me.
I wouldn't recommend you say you are surprised by your own story! LOL! You are so adorable. :)
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
Comment from Sankey
Hey first almost no spag chapter in a while matey!! SO funny love all the mad poultry going along as well hehe from the bard of course. Doe3s the Bard eat lard, Or is that too hard? Oh me! Sigh!
This is all giving me ideas for my stuff too so get ready top recognize some things not copied understand.
...
us down her(e), Lucy
Nearly contacted you t9oday I finally figured out how to do scanning of Documents on the new printer!! Sigh! I run Omnipage if you know what that is and this is the first Epson printer that does not have a "cerebral haemorrhoid" if I have the Nuance programme installed up against Epsons Document Scanner programme
|
Hey first almost no spag chapter in a while matey!! SO funny love all the mad poultry going along as well hehe from the bard of course. Doe3s the Bard eat lard, Or is that too hard? Oh me! Sigh!
This is all giving me ideas for my stuff too so get ready top recognize some things not copied understand.
...
us down her(e), Lucy
Nearly contacted you t9oday I finally figured out how to do scanning of Documents on the new printer!! Sigh! I run Omnipage if you know what that is and this is the first Epson printer that does not have a "cerebral haemorrhoid" if I have the Nuance programme installed up against Epsons Document Scanner programme
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
I see--an addition of a new character, Esmeralda Blackwell. You got a sense of humor Mikey. nonsense, ponsense strikes me funny and some of them wacky words the Bard comes up with. they must think the Bard is nuttier than a fruitcake. Daniel smokes Lucky Strikes non filter. For some unknown reason, it looks like it could be a clue. Maybe, a Lucky Strike cigarette will be found near the crime scene discovered by Lucy or the other detective. Clever, Lucy pretending to be a nanny. Smooth and quick thinking on her part. This is going good as can be expected. Is this one easier than the last novel? Seems like it is easier for you. I wonder, if they will ever get the chance to find Blackwell 's body on ice. Getting past security could be an issue. I'm sure, you are working on that one. Well, I'm almost finished with my chapter, some quick editing. This review will help me get a certificate. I fell to peer pressure, they finally forced me to reveal me mug shot. I got my cat Domino in my arms. he's a tuxedo cat. yep, yaw can have your laughs for tonight. he!he! The Lone Ranger has been unmasked, almost. great! wackydo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
I see--an addition of a new character, Esmeralda Blackwell. You got a sense of humor Mikey. nonsense, ponsense strikes me funny and some of them wacky words the Bard comes up with. they must think the Bard is nuttier than a fruitcake. Daniel smokes Lucky Strikes non filter. For some unknown reason, it looks like it could be a clue. Maybe, a Lucky Strike cigarette will be found near the crime scene discovered by Lucy or the other detective. Clever, Lucy pretending to be a nanny. Smooth and quick thinking on her part. This is going good as can be expected. Is this one easier than the last novel? Seems like it is easier for you. I wonder, if they will ever get the chance to find Blackwell 's body on ice. Getting past security could be an issue. I'm sure, you are working on that one. Well, I'm almost finished with my chapter, some quick editing. This review will help me get a certificate. I fell to peer pressure, they finally forced me to reveal me mug shot. I got my cat Domino in my arms. he's a tuxedo cat. yep, yaw can have your laughs for tonight. he!he! The Lone Ranger has been unmasked, almost. great! wackydo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
Comment from country ranch writer
THEY PARAGRAPH STARTS WHERE SHE LOOKED ANGRY NEXT TO LAST SENTENCE IT SHOULD SAY DOWN HERE. SOUNDS INTERESTING SO WE WILL FOLLOW THE BREAD CRUMBS
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
THEY PARAGRAPH STARTS WHERE SHE LOOKED ANGRY NEXT TO LAST SENTENCE IT SHOULD SAY DOWN HERE. SOUNDS INTERESTING SO WE WILL FOLLOW THE BREAD CRUMBS
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
