Reviews from

Sins of My Father

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Wrestling"
A coming of age story.

7 total reviews 
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Once again a great chapter. hope you will find the time to have a look at my autobiography. I am promoting some of the chapters atm but better to do what I am doing with yours and start at the beginning.

 Comment Written 13-May-2014


reply by the author on 28-May-2014
    Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from padumachitta
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Hi. Good character building. I like the way this gently brings up the horror of living with drink. Gotta say, it's in my genes, but, lucky I realised it. Still, inthe end it is choice. For a kid, they can only watch and scatter.
I look forward to the next piece.

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
    Thank you so much for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Rosalyne
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Hi Gretchen.
This is a well-written chapter that shows the weight Rory has had to carry. Knowing that his father is drinking again is only going to bring problems. You've shown his concerns well. I like the way you brought in his grandmother and a bit of back story from his childhood. This works really well.
Bye
Rosalyne :)

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
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Another fine chapter, Gretchen. I have only one concern, certainly easily fixable if you agree with it. No need to fix if you don't. LOL.

"My dad ain't tooken a drink since before I was born [This sentence didn't click for me, Gretchen. Was he acting out before the group? This wasn't his normal speech pattern. This certainly wasn't the same person who thought: "but I don't buy in to inheriting poor choices as part of the gene pool."

I wonder if Dad even realized the irony of his statement. Saying and doing are two different things. Amen. [Oh, I love this last line, Gretchen!]


 Comment Written 21-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
    I thought Rory would say it like this when he was much younger. His thought and speech process has developed over time. If it sounds too odd ballish, then let me know and I'll fix it. Maybe he should say "My dad hasn't took a drink since before I was born." I remember take, takes, taking and took giving me a fit when I was little. LOL. Thanks for the valuable feedback. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
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Well he is in a pickle. He just doesn't know what to do but we know he had better do something because the fuse has been lit and he will have a hard time from now on. Well done Gretchen

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
    Thanks for the great review and the enlightened comments. Gretchen
Comment from Gladness
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I am finding no spags. The story moves along at a good pace and is easy to read and enjoy. Good irony at the end. Well done story. I look forward to each chapter.
Anita

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
    Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from Misrael
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It is going to be interesting to see how this works out and how Rory Dean SR handles this situation. Good read and keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
    Dean is headstrong and is certain he doesn't have a problem anymore. Thanks for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen