From out of the Grayness
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "American Biopsy"Reaching from the gray areas to understand life
32 total reviews
Comment from emrpoems
Fantastic write in quatrains with solid rhyming couplets.
Great political commentary but that last line I think it should be leaders'-that is in the plural. No one leader is the reason for America's fall it started decades ago.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Fantastic write in quatrains with solid rhyming couplets.
Great political commentary but that last line I think it should be leaders'-that is in the plural. No one leader is the reason for America's fall it started decades ago.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much empoems! I appreciate your kind review and glad you found it meaningful. While I agree that many leaders have cut deep wounds in our nation, none can match the atrocities of our current destroyer.
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I hink he is not being allowed to do the things he would like to. He receives opposition all round.
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Thank GOD he is being blocked from his full intentions but then he did manage to buy about five billion rounds of ammunition for FEMA???? DAH!!!! The problem is that people don't see the REAL intention of his works as they are distracted with the rhetoric about how GOOD his mission is. The man is an avowed Muslim...Americas greatest enemies...Dah!!! I guess cool aid still works....
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Well he doesn't have long again and if he is really that bad his successor will restore things. It is written in prophecy that America will fall so maybe like Judas he is playing his part. Just a thought
Comment from l.raven
Hi Vance, well stand up and take a bow....sad as it is every word true...America is falling fast...and if we don't stop...if it isn't already to late...we won't get back up...not any time soon...your picture is how most feel today...a wonderful write...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Hi Vance, well stand up and take a bow....sad as it is every word true...America is falling fast...and if we don't stop...if it isn't already to late...we won't get back up...not any time soon...your picture is how most feel today...a wonderful write...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much Linda...so good to hear from you and glad you enjoyed this work. Vance
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you are so very welcome...luff Linda xxoo
Comment from adewpearl
passion's thrones - add apostrophe for possessive
solid rhyming couplets
good consonance in king of obfuscation
food is gone, fires died - excellent imagery in this passage
strong cadence when read aloud
wishes' songs - add apostrophe for possessive
pioneers' fresh hopes - add apostrophe
strong political commentary in excellent poetic form
Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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passion's thrones - add apostrophe for possessive
solid rhyming couplets
good consonance in king of obfuscation
food is gone, fires died - excellent imagery in this passage
strong cadence when read aloud
wishes' songs - add apostrophe for possessive
pioneers' fresh hopes - add apostrophe
strong political commentary in excellent poetic form
Brooke
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thanks Brooke for these important oversights and I think I have them all fixed now. All the best! Vance
Comment from DR DIP
HAIL! THE KING OF AABB RHYME HIS ROYAL GREYNESS!
beautifully written my master greyness as usual you have a beautiful way with words!
really enjoyed this one and many more of your works!
dip
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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HAIL! THE KING OF AABB RHYME HIS ROYAL GREYNESS!
beautifully written my master greyness as usual you have a beautiful way with words!
really enjoyed this one and many more of your works!
dip
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much Dr. Dip. It's always a pleasure to get your meaningful and kind feedback. Glad you liked it! Vance
Comment from GE Parson
Mr. Grayness,
You aren't accusing our Grit, I mean Great Commander - in - Chief and his gang of sin are you? If you are you must be some kind of racist. LOL
Seriously tremendous poem!!!!
Ya ol Buddy Friend,
Jerry
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Mr. Grayness,
You aren't accusing our Grit, I mean Great Commander - in - Chief and his gang of sin are you? If you are you must be some kind of racist. LOL
Seriously tremendous poem!!!!
Ya ol Buddy Friend,
Jerry
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Jerry: thanks so much for the generous six stars and great comments .... much appreciated ol Buddy ...ol Friend! Vance
Comment from Irish Rain
Love your last line the best in this tragically true tale of the fall Of America...I can't believe what we have been reduced to, and it is mostly because of this 'leader'...that we turned our cable off...you have written our countries eulogy...blessings to you tonight!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Love your last line the best in this tragically true tale of the fall Of America...I can't believe what we have been reduced to, and it is mostly because of this 'leader'...that we turned our cable off...you have written our countries eulogy...blessings to you tonight!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much justjo..always a pleasure to hear from you and sad to be moved to this level of dark message but the biopsy does not lie and we will have much healing ahead from the damage being done. Blessings to you...Vance
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So true! Thank goodness that as a people, we are strong!
Comment from Glasstruth
America was the land of hope. Pioneers came to such a beautiful land that inspired the song, "This Land Is Your Land" by Woody Guthrie. Now, what do we have? Gangs and shopping malls as far as the eye can see. Superb rhyming. The last verse ends this on a positive note. Great writing. One of your best!!!! Les
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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America was the land of hope. Pioneers came to such a beautiful land that inspired the song, "This Land Is Your Land" by Woody Guthrie. Now, what do we have? Gangs and shopping malls as far as the eye can see. Superb rhyming. The last verse ends this on a positive note. Great writing. One of your best!!!! Les
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Dear LES; Thank you for your kind review and much appreciated sixer...I'm never pleased to focus on negative things but this administration is so out of line and destructive that I cannot imagine how the American people are falling for this. Just had to say my peace and reflect on the core values of America. Thanks again, Vance
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You welcome :))))
Comment from tbacha58
The masses weep as death commands
Where hope once ruled on promised lands
But why should fallen hopes prevail
Where once there was a golden trail
That carried dreams and wishes songs
From pasts of woes where death belongs
Dearest Vance, I miss so much your strong direct poetry, your delicate way of approaching a subject in public, is not easy to do that, but you , the Master of poetry knows exactly what to do and what to say in writing. Beautiful poetry Vance, bravo. Bless you, and Happy Easter to you. Love Terry xoxo
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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The masses weep as death commands
Where hope once ruled on promised lands
But why should fallen hopes prevail
Where once there was a golden trail
That carried dreams and wishes songs
From pasts of woes where death belongs
Dearest Vance, I miss so much your strong direct poetry, your delicate way of approaching a subject in public, is not easy to do that, but you , the Master of poetry knows exactly what to do and what to say in writing. Beautiful poetry Vance, bravo. Bless you, and Happy Easter to you. Love Terry xoxo
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Dearest Terry: thank you so much for your meaningful and very precious feedback and support! I hope you had a wonderful and Blessed Easter...you are always in my prayers. Vance
Comment from royowen
A beautiful write Vance, it sounds like an ode to a failed President,
" obfuscation " was the clue! We, in Australia are a little disconnected, but some of the vibes coming out of the U.S. Is there is a lot of dissatisfaction! This is a brilliant worded write and for that alone it deserves a six. Well done, Dear eloquent friend! Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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A beautiful write Vance, it sounds like an ode to a failed President,
" obfuscation " was the clue! We, in Australia are a little disconnected, but some of the vibes coming out of the U.S. Is there is a lot of dissatisfaction! This is a brilliant worded write and for that alone it deserves a six. Well done, Dear eloquent friend! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Roy: Thanks so much my friend and BTW I'm also an Aussie from Adelaide living in Las Vegas and where are you living Roy?
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We live in Elizabeth Park. Blessings, Roy.
Comment from Ricky1024
A powerful picture with powerful and worthy words.
You conquered pain and refilled "Destiny's Wane" but perhaps there is no cure to elevate thy Kings, cruel, view?
Thanks,
24.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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A powerful picture with powerful and worthy words.
You conquered pain and refilled "Destiny's Wane" but perhaps there is no cure to elevate thy Kings, cruel, view?
Thanks,
24.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Hey Ricky...thanks so much for your great review and generous six stars...glad you appreciated the message. All the best! Vance
