The Bard of Bel Air
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Will, Jagger and a Shakedown"A homeless man sees more than people realize.
15 total reviews
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mikey
Well there's a lot to take in ... I didn't find it confusing ... just seemed a little unusual maybe, though as I said I read it fine. A more experienced writer could and I hope does, fill in the blanks I can't fill. :) You've certainly added the bits and pieces of story-line, yet the write was still interesting and held the intrigue.
You kept the 'bait' fresh and ready for the fish to bite in to the next chapter. I must have missed a chapter and missed Lucy Smaldino ... have to seek her out. Loving your story so far. I liked the touch of craziness in the pom. Heheh!. Great chapter heading. Well done. Hugs - Lovi xoxox
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Hi Mikey
Well there's a lot to take in ... I didn't find it confusing ... just seemed a little unusual maybe, though as I said I read it fine. A more experienced writer could and I hope does, fill in the blanks I can't fill. :) You've certainly added the bits and pieces of story-line, yet the write was still interesting and held the intrigue.
You kept the 'bait' fresh and ready for the fish to bite in to the next chapter. I must have missed a chapter and missed Lucy Smaldino ... have to seek her out. Loving your story so far. I liked the touch of craziness in the pom. Heheh!. Great chapter heading. Well done. Hugs - Lovi xoxox
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
This is pouring out beautifully. This is all ringing true. No reveals yet. Good. No one has a reason to panic. A nosey detective with no evidence. They don't even know about The Bard i am guessing. He has that shield of disregard going for him. Keep rolling just like this. Perfection. NG
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This is pouring out beautifully. This is all ringing true. No reveals yet. Good. No one has a reason to panic. A nosey detective with no evidence. They don't even know about The Bard i am guessing. He has that shield of disregard going for him. Keep rolling just like this. Perfection. NG
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
Comment from seaglass
Ha,ha,ha, Ya had to add the french horn didn't ya? Just the thought of that beasty brass makes my lips tingle.
This is shaping up great. I can picture it on the screen. No actually named siblings could open the gate for a thousand back wood colts. Which is where this is going for Ruby.
Did you see that documentary about Hank Williams illiget daughter? she looks and sounds just like him and ended up getting a hefty part of the inheritance.
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Ha,ha,ha, Ya had to add the french horn didn't ya? Just the thought of that beasty brass makes my lips tingle.
This is shaping up great. I can picture it on the screen. No actually named siblings could open the gate for a thousand back wood colts. Which is where this is going for Ruby.
Did you see that documentary about Hank Williams illiget daughter? she looks and sounds just like him and ended up getting a hefty part of the inheritance.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I don't need to read any more, Mikey. Good story, but I figured it out. The butler did it.
Okay, you may start your next book now. :)
Seriously, this was excellent, especially the stuff about Ruby and her mom!
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I don't need to read any more, Mikey. Good story, but I figured it out. The butler did it.
Okay, you may start your next book now. :)
Seriously, this was excellent, especially the stuff about Ruby and her mom!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
This is damm good Cahill. I could give you a ton of words to describe it but sometimes words don't justify magnificance. I speak with me stars, Sir Mikey, tomorrow I will have a fistful . I will be dangerous.This is a virtual six and I will reread it tomorrow but me back hurts from shoveling dirt. Marshmellows ain't suppose to dig ditches, me hurt. This character list is great. I like the way the fruitcake speaks in poems.I speculate, there are clues here? Poor Ruby dancer don't know who her father is. A one nighter with that tramp is all it took. I will bookcase this unit for in debt annaylsis.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is damm good Cahill. I could give you a ton of words to describe it but sometimes words don't justify magnificance. I speak with me stars, Sir Mikey, tomorrow I will have a fistful . I will be dangerous.This is a virtual six and I will reread it tomorrow but me back hurts from shoveling dirt. Marshmellows ain't suppose to dig ditches, me hurt. This character list is great. I like the way the fruitcake speaks in poems.I speculate, there are clues here? Poor Ruby dancer don't know who her father is. A one nighter with that tramp is all it took. I will bookcase this unit for in debt annaylsis.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
