Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Johnny's Fate, Anyone Else Alive?"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
17 total reviews
Comment from seaglass
Things got real active. Nothing so traumatic can happen without some losses. So, guess a few characters will have to go. It will be interesting to see how you wrap it up.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Things got real active. Nothing so traumatic can happen without some losses. So, guess a few characters will have to go. It will be interesting to see how you wrap it up.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Somehow made it to the end. Lots of work making sense of it coming up. Wrap up tonight. Then cast party at midnight!! mikey
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, you never lack for creativity. Fun humor laced in such a dire situation. The problem of the enemy seems to have taken care of itself, at least it seems. Solid dialog. The collective unconscious (like Carl Jung) is coming into play. Just a small thing: check usage of "whom was I kidding"- whom is used as the receiver of an action like to whom am I speaking. I might be wrong. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Mikey, you never lack for creativity. Fun humor laced in such a dire situation. The problem of the enemy seems to have taken care of itself, at least it seems. Solid dialog. The collective unconscious (like Carl Jung) is coming into play. Just a small thing: check usage of "whom was I kidding"- whom is used as the receiver of an action like to whom am I speaking. I might be wrong. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I had it "who" and spell check highlighted it. I think "whom" sounds rather strange! One more chapter to go. Then I have my work cut out for me. I've been reading all of your reviews and copied and printed them for when I rewrite. Great input. Lots of things that I've used and plan to. Thank you so much. mikey
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Mikey, I'm honored that I had an idea or two to spur on that creative mind of yours! :0 GracieAnn
Comment from ravenblack
I think dolphin research may be a foreshadowing of a story to come. Hmmmm...I don't remember if you mentioned the transmissions based on dolphin research. If not, that needs to come earlier in their story. To be completely honest, storm, earthquake and dolphins being the salvation of Johnny and his world just seems a bit too fortuitous.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I think dolphin research may be a foreshadowing of a story to come. Hmmmm...I don't remember if you mentioned the transmissions based on dolphin research. If not, that needs to come earlier in their story. To be completely honest, storm, earthquake and dolphins being the salvation of Johnny and his world just seems a bit too fortuitous.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Yes. I think this ended up being a different story than it started out being. When I re-write this I'll have the advantage of knowing where I'm going and like you say, drop some hints along the way. The weather should have been a factor all along and the dolphins should have been mentioned early on as well. Some great input all the way through. This would have never made it to any kind of semi-sane ending without your input. Most appreciated. mikey
Comment from Sasha
You have an amazing mind and know how to use it. I just love this so far and cannot wait to find out about the people trapped and also about Christine. This has been an amazing and impressive project and you have every reason to feel proud. I anxiously look forward to the last chapter. Keep up the great work.
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You have an amazing mind and know how to use it. I just love this so far and cannot wait to find out about the people trapped and also about Christine. This has been an amazing and impressive project and you have every reason to feel proud. I anxiously look forward to the last chapter. Keep up the great work.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
Johnny the dolphin rider has a real hard rescue this time. I don't think he knows if they have any underwater gear. But I think the earth is on his side. The earthquake and the fish helped him. Great work.
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Johnny the dolphin rider has a real hard rescue this time. I don't think he knows if they have any underwater gear. But I think the earth is on his side. The earthquake and the fish helped him. Great work.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
I have ridden dolphins. I recognized the sensation you described perfectly!!!It seems inevitable that the clear cut answes would not be forth coming. That is real. One more? AMAZING WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. Rest tommorrow. Bet you writr another.
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I have ridden dolphins. I recognized the sensation you described perfectly!!!It seems inevitable that the clear cut answes would not be forth coming. That is real. One more? AMAZING WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. Rest tommorrow. Bet you writr another.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
Comment from healfromwithin
I have not read any other piece of this book, so will edit as a stand-alone:
Dolphins(;) I'll be damned
"We tried(;) they preferred death
they're high ranking(,) though
What is it that you wanted so bad(?)
my thoughts(-)Christine.
busy and she knew I was(,) too
pilots were rescued(,) though.
for years(;) (h)ell, he'd been
many an old twenty something. She (twenty-something)
the armada, see if (is Armada a ship or name? If so, capitalize.)
missing and Lacci (is,) too.
"(W)e're on it(.)"
on Lacci(;) she's missing
Start now(;) don't wait for
translators here(,) too. Tell them
too, Jen(-)everybody
Good work, so far. The characters' dialogue feels authentic.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I have not read any other piece of this book, so will edit as a stand-alone:
Dolphins(;) I'll be damned
"We tried(;) they preferred death
they're high ranking(,) though
What is it that you wanted so bad(?)
my thoughts(-)Christine.
busy and she knew I was(,) too
pilots were rescued(,) though.
for years(;) (h)ell, he'd been
many an old twenty something. She (twenty-something)
the armada, see if (is Armada a ship or name? If so, capitalize.)
missing and Lacci (is,) too.
"(W)e're on it(.)"
on Lacci(;) she's missing
Start now(;) don't wait for
translators here(,) too. Tell them
too, Jen(-)everybody
Good work, so far. The characters' dialogue feels authentic.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Hi. I am terribly behind in answering reviews. But, I am jumping ahead to thank you for the wonderful help. I am terrible with punctuation. However, I was quite a bit worse when I began here. I am learning and this kind of specific help is so appreciated. Delighted you liked the dialogue. Good news indeed! Thanks for the great help and encouragement. mikey
