Erotic Dreams
Fantasy or Reality21 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Opening heavy eyelids, Jake reached - add comma
typo - I haven't HAND sex
You get inside his conflicted thoughts well
excellent dialogue
fascinating character development
Brooke
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Opening heavy eyelids, Jake reached - add comma
typo - I haven't HAND sex
You get inside his conflicted thoughts well
excellent dialogue
fascinating character development
Brooke
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. What good eyes you have. I appreciate them.
Comment from GWinterwin
Yes it was quite a dream, good word flow makes the reader excited and wondering what is coming next. Very good story, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Yes it was quite a dream, good word flow makes the reader excited and wondering what is coming next. Very good story, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. I hope you get a chance to read the last part tomorrow.
JW
Comment from Sylvia Page
Is this a continuation? Then I've missed out! Roused rudely from an erotic dream Jake moves into the real world. But his dream is so powerful, he cannot respond to the advances of his ex. Good story and can even be a stand alone.
Cheers
Sylvia
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Is this a continuation? Then I've missed out! Roused rudely from an erotic dream Jake moves into the real world. But his dream is so powerful, he cannot respond to the advances of his ex. Good story and can even be a stand alone.
Cheers
Sylvia
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much, Sylvia. Yes, part 1 is "Is it okay?"; part 2 is "Erotic Addiction" and I editing part 4 of 4 now. I will post it tonight or tomorrow.
Jw
Comment from Terrie DeGolier
I guess Jen thinks she could pick up where she left off, but Li Song was in that bed and she didn't even notice. Dreams can come true. Looking forward to the last part. I enjoyed your story, erotic with respect pretty darn awesome. Terrie
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I guess Jen thinks she could pick up where she left off, but Li Song was in that bed and she didn't even notice. Dreams can come true. Looking forward to the last part. I enjoyed your story, erotic with respect pretty darn awesome. Terrie
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. Yes, she was in that bed too and in Jake's mind. It happens sometimes, or so I'm told.
JW
Comment from Spiritual Echo
I so do admire a writer who can weave a psychological element to a sex scene. You managed to make this extremely sexy, but gave purpose to and presence to Jake.
Sounds like there's more coming or some before, but this still works well as a stand alone piece.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I so do admire a writer who can weave a psychological element to a sex scene. You managed to make this extremely sexy, but gave purpose to and presence to Jake.
Sounds like there's more coming or some before, but this still works well as a stand alone piece.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. Yes, I am editing the last part now, for posting tomorrow.
JW
Comment from Zue65
This is naughty and I don't think your wife will like your fantasies other than her. Well, I guess I am just a conservative Asian lady who have a very conservative view of the bedroom. But you are a good writer, no doubt about it. But can you bring it to a higher level than erotica and write a legit prose. Of course, I don't want to impose my restricted view and the choice is still yours. God bless.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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This is naughty and I don't think your wife will like your fantasies other than her. Well, I guess I am just a conservative Asian lady who have a very conservative view of the bedroom. But you are a good writer, no doubt about it. But can you bring it to a higher level than erotica and write a legit prose. Of course, I don't want to impose my restricted view and the choice is still yours. God bless.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Twilightspire
This part is great, mainly because of your use of creative descriptions and characterization.
The dream sequence was beautiful, starting off the piece on a high note. It was quickly followed by a lower point, the phone call, then a high point in the shower...etc. The whole piece is a rollercoaster ride of emotion and decadence.
I also love how you dole out backstory as it is relative to the story in general and not just because you want to throw it in there. The mark of a very well written piece.
Great job.
-T.J.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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This part is great, mainly because of your use of creative descriptions and characterization.
The dream sequence was beautiful, starting off the piece on a high note. It was quickly followed by a lower point, the phone call, then a high point in the shower...etc. The whole piece is a rollercoaster ride of emotion and decadence.
I also love how you dole out backstory as it is relative to the story in general and not just because you want to throw it in there. The mark of a very well written piece.
Great job.
-T.J.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much, T.J. I glad you liked part 3 on Jake and Li Song's tale. I am editing their last part now. But, I am wondering if when I'm done, should I pick up the tale with Jennifer? Do think readers would want to know what happens to a cheater after she's caught?
JW
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A follow up tale would be interesting, especially following those lines. I would read it.
Comment from healfromwithin
Good. I didn't detect the "dream" in the opening right away.
A couple of notes:
questioned his actions(remove ",") with Li Song(,) a huge
exchanged between the former couple. (doesn't sound right)
What(,) am I lame or something? Does she
Overall, good job.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Good. I didn't detect the "dream" in the opening right away.
A couple of notes:
questioned his actions(remove ",") with Li Song(,) a huge
exchanged between the former couple. (doesn't sound right)
What(,) am I lame or something? Does she
Overall, good job.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much.
Comment from jmdg1954
Phew... that was hot. Not disgustingly dirty hot but sensually hot. Funny how a mans muscle works... It was thinking of Li Song but not fully with a veluptious creature right next to him. I'm not sure what I would have done...
Great third part to your story, John
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Phew... that was hot. Not disgustingly dirty hot but sensually hot. Funny how a mans muscle works... It was thinking of Li Song but not fully with a veluptious creature right next to him. I'm not sure what I would have done...
Great third part to your story, John
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much, John. Some women really don't know how much effect the mind has on things.
JW
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good introduction that grabs my attention from the start. Strong emotion as Jake finds himself emotionally between a rock and a hard place. The transition is good. The pace is consistent. I could feel the passion in the words. This piece is worth a six all day long. Wish today was Sunday and I would have one. Excellent job.
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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Good introduction that grabs my attention from the start. Strong emotion as Jake finds himself emotionally between a rock and a hard place. The transition is good. The pace is consistent. I could feel the passion in the words. This piece is worth a six all day long. Wish today was Sunday and I would have one. Excellent job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
