Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 58 "Wihanble Moon"Murder Mystery
39 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
"If a spiritual warrior like that was not safe against the powers at work here, what hope do I have?"--Ty makes an excellent point here. How could one fight something so spiritually powerful, especially a mere mortal man?
One can understand why Jana felt it necessary to lie about the reasons behind her Uncle Tony's kidnapping. With the events still unfolding, she had to be certain not to jeopardize anything in the case that could be of help. She might have hated lying, but it was justified, I think.
I could certainly relate to Father Brian's sadness as he was forced to leave Alyx behind with Mrs. Findley. I feel much the same way when I have to go off somewhere, and my best friend, Gidget, can't come with me. She's a Chihuahua, and rarely allows me to be out of her sight for more than five seconds. She gives that forlorn, soulful stare that just breaks your heart. She so loves going for rides in the car, or bye-bye, as we call it.
Excellent chapter, Bev. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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"If a spiritual warrior like that was not safe against the powers at work here, what hope do I have?"--Ty makes an excellent point here. How could one fight something so spiritually powerful, especially a mere mortal man?
One can understand why Jana felt it necessary to lie about the reasons behind her Uncle Tony's kidnapping. With the events still unfolding, she had to be certain not to jeopardize anything in the case that could be of help. She might have hated lying, but it was justified, I think.
I could certainly relate to Father Brian's sadness as he was forced to leave Alyx behind with Mrs. Findley. I feel much the same way when I have to go off somewhere, and my best friend, Gidget, can't come with me. She's a Chihuahua, and rarely allows me to be out of her sight for more than five seconds. She gives that forlorn, soulful stare that just breaks your heart. She so loves going for rides in the car, or bye-bye, as we call it.
Excellent chapter, Bev. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Dean, thank you so very much for this gracious and encouraging review. I appreciate the support very much. :0) Bev
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Sure thing, Bev. For some reason. it would not allow me to award you a sixth star. Odd. Just know that I wanted to! LOL...
8>}
Comment from Joy Graham
Well, Bev, this story is heating up. So we're looking for a mythical devil dog. Hmmm, can't wait to see that lol! Father Brian is preparing for an exorcism, me thinks. So much going on and I look forward to the next reveal :) you're doing a great job, my friend. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Well, Bev, this story is heating up. So we're looking for a mythical devil dog. Hmmm, can't wait to see that lol! Father Brian is preparing for an exorcism, me thinks. So much going on and I look forward to the next reveal :) you're doing a great job, my friend. Keep writing.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Joy, thank you so very much for this very generous and encouraging review. Your words have put a big smile on my face.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from c_lucas
Things are beginning to come together. You have filled the Priest's mind with light, but I don't remember you filling Ty and Jana"s. Very good job.
ERROR: (???)
The dog whimpered, not because he wanted out of the cage, but because he sensed the sadness in his owner's voice (Are you going from the Priest's POV to the dog's?)
Brian (Father Brian or The priest)closed his eyes and whispered,
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Things are beginning to come together. You have filled the Priest's mind with light, but I don't remember you filling Ty and Jana"s. Very good job.
ERROR: (???)
The dog whimpered, not because he wanted out of the cage, but because he sensed the sadness in his owner's voice (Are you going from the Priest's POV to the dog's?)
Brian (Father Brian or The priest)closed his eyes and whispered,
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Hi, Charlie. Thanks so much for the suggestions. I'll look at that POV section. As always, good to get your input. :0) Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Charlie
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:0)
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Bev: As usual a mighty fine chapter. The story is headed for a much anticipated dramatic conclusion.
I love the cleverness of your foreshadowing:
"The elders say that only a man or woman wrapped in light can do this deed."
"A soft, golden light filled his head and bathed his spirit."
You are a skillful writer, Bev. Your story is a winner in all aspects.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Bev: As usual a mighty fine chapter. The story is headed for a much anticipated dramatic conclusion.
I love the cleverness of your foreshadowing:
"The elders say that only a man or woman wrapped in light can do this deed."
"A soft, golden light filled his head and bathed his spirit."
You are a skillful writer, Bev. Your story is a winner in all aspects.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Marietta. I know I'm showing some preference for Father Brian, but the story is really about his lack of faith and, hopefully, redemption. Thanks for the grand and so-generous review, my friend.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from JBCaine
Fundi-
This is quite well-written with good characterization and plenty of depth.
I saw nothing needing correction, and enjoyed the read.
Good work.
JBCaine-
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Fundi-
This is quite well-written with good characterization and plenty of depth.
I saw nothing needing correction, and enjoyed the read.
Good work.
JBCaine-
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Hi, JB. Thanks for the grand review! I appreciate you taking time to read. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from lancellot
A well written chapter, and I like the use of memories to gain insight on choices in the present.
notes:
In the early hours of the next morning, he awoke from a nightmare and [calling] for his mother.
- I think this should be 'called' due it being something he did, and also a flashback.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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A well written chapter, and I like the use of memories to gain insight on choices in the present.
notes:
In the early hours of the next morning, he awoke from a nightmare and [calling] for his mother.
- I think this should be 'called' due it being something he did, and also a flashback.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much, lancellot. I'll check that section you mentioned, but your suggestion sounds right on track. Appreciate it! :0) Bev
Comment from JW
This is a good chapter and it easily holds a reader's interest. However, you may want to review the following:
She reached down and caressed his check. - I think you meant cheek.
He weighed the option of taking her aside and prying the truth from her, bu ended up ... bu -> but JW
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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This is a good chapter and it easily holds a reader's interest. However, you may want to review the following:
She reached down and caressed his check. - I think you meant cheek.
He weighed the option of taking her aside and prying the truth from her, bu ended up ... bu -> but JW
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Hi, Jonathon. I appreciate the sharp eye, my friend. My brain is pretty fried right about now, so I can use the help. Warmest regards, Bev
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I know the feeling, Bev. - Been there/done that.
That is why I am taking a small break before starting a new novel.
BTW - I ran my first freebie promotion this weekend on the eBook version of Hopeless Love - in order to get the book known in the outside world.
Since 12:01 a.m. Saturday morning - it has been downloaded over 200 times and in 9 different countries.
Amazing, isn't it? Not to mention, on Amazon it now ranks #14 in it's specific genre. :-) JW
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Oh my gosh! That is totally awesome, Jonathon. I'm so happy for you. I'm going to have some tough decision to make when I finish and edit my current novel. Knowing of your success is something that I will have to weigh in the decision making. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work!
:0) Bev
Comment from Rondeno
I love the way you do that symmetrical thing, with the first half about Sioux spirituality, then finish with mainstream Catholic sensibility. It's wonderful,Bev. Just two tiny typos - a "but" which lacks a "t", and the excess "ed" in this: "Jana, any idea why would this guy snatched your Uncle?"
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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I love the way you do that symmetrical thing, with the first half about Sioux spirituality, then finish with mainstream Catholic sensibility. It's wonderful,Bev. Just two tiny typos - a "but" which lacks a "t", and the excess "ed" in this: "Jana, any idea why would this guy snatched your Uncle?"
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Hi, Mikey. I so appreciate the sharp editorial eye! Your generosity and encouragement mean a lot to me. Thanks for caring. xxxxOOOxxx Bev
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Great suspense and build up of emotion from the nightmare. I enjoyed reading this and I can't wait for more. You are doing a great job.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Great suspense and build up of emotion from the nightmare. I enjoyed reading this and I can't wait for more. You are doing a great job.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
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Gosh, Thanks so much, barbara. Your generosity and support mean a lot to me. :0) Bev
