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Viewing comments for Chapter 77 "There is Ringing in My Ears"Personal poems
18 total reviews
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
"There is a Ringing in My Ears" is good free style poetry with good unconventional structure, flow and some internal rhyme. It is good that you can turn annoying suffering into poetry.
Preston
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Hi, Treischel,
"There is a Ringing in My Ears" is good free style poetry with good unconventional structure, flow and some internal rhyme. It is good that you can turn annoying suffering into poetry.
Preston
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thank you Preston. In think anything can be.
Comment from Jessica Harrison
It's an original poem. I say this because to the human mind this has caused some wondering. Whatever the cause of the ringing is, if it always waved off, it will always come back to haunt you.
The ringing could mean different things to different people. The first thing that came to my mind was the feeling of not doing something I ought to have done a while ago. The second thing that came to my mind was the wretched sound of the alarm from my sister's room which never seems to wake her up!
Anyhoo, 'the ringing in my ears' is a very down to earth poem conveying a message I believe to everyone who takes time to read it.
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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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It's an original poem. I say this because to the human mind this has caused some wondering. Whatever the cause of the ringing is, if it always waved off, it will always come back to haunt you.
The ringing could mean different things to different people. The first thing that came to my mind was the feeling of not doing something I ought to have done a while ago. The second thing that came to my mind was the wretched sound of the alarm from my sister's room which never seems to wake her up!
Anyhoo, 'the ringing in my ears' is a very down to earth poem conveying a message I believe to everyone who takes time to read it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thank you Jessica.
Comment from rod007
This sounds like an irritating illness. The poem sharply portrays this sad affliction. I hope you recover from this unfortunate ailment. Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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This sounds like an irritating illness. The poem sharply portrays this sad affliction. I hope you recover from this unfortunate ailment. Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thank you rod. That's what I'm hoping too.
Comment from tfawcus
Tinnitus can be a real scourge. My uncle suffered from it chronically. As you say:
"a constant,
irritating sound."
My sympathy. Tony
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Tinnitus can be a real scourge. My uncle suffered from it chronically. As you say:
"a constant,
irritating sound."
My sympathy. Tony
Comment Written 05-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2014
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Thank you Tony. I hoping it will go away.
Comment from ravenblack
Do you suffer from tintinitus? I did for years, usually brought on by a change in air pressure or seasonal change. You probably already do, but if not, flush your ears on a regular basis. I do and it has made all the difference. Now it is manageable. Or pluck that little bugle boy from your ear.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2014
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Do you suffer from tintinitus? I did for years, usually brought on by a change in air pressure or seasonal change. You probably already do, but if not, flush your ears on a regular basis. I do and it has made all the difference. Now it is manageable. Or pluck that little bugle boy from your ear.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2014
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Thank you ravenblack. I'd love to pluck him.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Tis called tinnitus. On the net look up:
Tinnitus Causes, Medications, Treatments, and Remedies ...
I have it too especially after I was radiated for stage 4 tonsil cancer 17 years ago. One has to ignore it or it will become an irritating obsession as alluded to in the poem.
Regards:
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2014
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Tis called tinnitus. On the net look up:
Tinnitus Causes, Medications, Treatments, and Remedies ...
I have it too especially after I was radiated for stage 4 tonsil cancer 17 years ago. One has to ignore it or it will become an irritating obsession as alluded to in the poem.
Regards:
Comment Written 04-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2014
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Thank you Stephen. Yup, mostly it's background noise.
Comment from healfromwithin
Cute poem. Interesting picture.
Pace and meter are unmeasured, open.
I might try to tighten it up a bit by using contractions throughout, so the tone / linguistics are similar, especially in line 1.
I might have said, "draws my tears" or "brings me to tears" to bring your reader into first person empathy.
I would have used a semi-colon after crickets, for a more pregnant pause.
My least favorite verse:
When occupied
my mind forgets
and thinks,
it isn't anymore.
Good job, overall. Thanks for posting it.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2014
|
Cute poem. Interesting picture.
Pace and meter are unmeasured, open.
I might try to tighten it up a bit by using contractions throughout, so the tone / linguistics are similar, especially in line 1.
I might have said, "draws my tears" or "brings me to tears" to bring your reader into first person empathy.
I would have used a semi-colon after crickets, for a more pregnant pause.
My least favorite verse:
When occupied
my mind forgets
and thinks,
it isn't anymore.
Good job, overall. Thanks for posting it.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2014
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Thank you healfromwithin. Some good critique.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good end rhyming with away/stay...roar/anymore...background/sound. Good description that paints a clear picture in my mind. Good alliteration with my/mind. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2014
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Good end rhyming with away/stay...roar/anymore...background/sound. Good description that paints a clear picture in my mind. Good alliteration with my/mind. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2014
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Thank you Righteous.
