The Crying
The portrait terrified him so.48 total reviews
Comment from darknessgone
Whoa! That was way too cool! I loved the flow of the writing even though it's a true story! Man, I don't know if I'd freak out or be fascinated, maybe both! LOL! Great read! Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Whoa! That was way too cool! I loved the flow of the writing even though it's a true story! Man, I don't know if I'd freak out or be fascinated, maybe both! LOL! Great read! Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Thanks for reading it, darknessgone, and for sharing your thoughts with me about it. I appreciate it!
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you are so welcome! :)
Comment from Riss Ryker518
This was great! I love creepy stories and this just fit the bill. Especially the part where the picture was still at grandma's! Whoa!
Just one suggestion, if I may. In the third paragraph, I think it would sound better if you said skyward, instead of heaven-ward. It just flows a little better. Your descriptive writing was awesome. The whole story just flowed so smoothly. A great read.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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This was great! I love creepy stories and this just fit the bill. Especially the part where the picture was still at grandma's! Whoa!
Just one suggestion, if I may. In the third paragraph, I think it would sound better if you said skyward, instead of heaven-ward. It just flows a little better. Your descriptive writing was awesome. The whole story just flowed so smoothly. A great read.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Thanks, Riss. I'm very glad you liked it. I like your suggestion, as well. I'll make that change, I appreciate it!
Comment from minopavlic
All I can say is wow, an elaborate composition which commends the authors mastery in the subject portrayed. You have certainly presented an illusion of fear, which in reality is an illusion, as we invite that fear to govern and control our emotions and lives...
Good luck in the contest.
no_obstacle
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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All I can say is wow, an elaborate composition which commends the authors mastery in the subject portrayed. You have certainly presented an illusion of fear, which in reality is an illusion, as we invite that fear to govern and control our emotions and lives...
Good luck in the contest.
no_obstacle
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Thank you, no_obstacle. I appreciate the gracious comments. And yes, fear can be a very powerful illusion.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This actually happened? But you picked it up.... Or were you drinking or sick or dreaming? I don't believe in ghosts at all... do you? Seriously, do you? If this is all true, it's either in your mind or outside your mind. Which is it?
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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This actually happened? But you picked it up.... Or were you drinking or sick or dreaming? I don't believe in ghosts at all... do you? Seriously, do you? If this is all true, it's either in your mind or outside your mind. Which is it?
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Hey Phyllis, thanks for checking the story out. I really appreciate it! Did you like the pacing? Was it too long, or did it hold your attention.
The story is listed as "Supernatural Fiction", so there is that. But the portrait is based on the real deal. So, you've got some fact, and some fiction. The portrait did cry real tears, and it's ... countenance would change. Really eerie piece of art. The fictional story was spun around that.
Comment from Adri7enne
"Inevitably, however, his eyes were inexorable drawn to grandma's newest aquisition to the HOMES decor." HOME'S
Throughout the evening, my FATHERS scrutinizing gaze kept being ..." FATHER'S
Good story and very well told. You kept me intrigued all the way to the end. I truly enjoyed the narrative voice. It had personality - a bit irreverant, emotionally rich and full of good descriptions. Good luck in the contest. Good job.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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"Inevitably, however, his eyes were inexorable drawn to grandma's newest aquisition to the HOMES decor." HOME'S
Throughout the evening, my FATHERS scrutinizing gaze kept being ..." FATHER'S
Good story and very well told. You kept me intrigued all the way to the end. I truly enjoyed the narrative voice. It had personality - a bit irreverant, emotionally rich and full of good descriptions. Good luck in the contest. Good job.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Thank you, appreciate the comments and feedback. I'll take care of those apostrophes right away. Darn things, they get me every time!
Comment from Lysa Schuler
This story was scary. However, it was excellent to read. You presented it well, although "Sunset," is one word. You gave life to all the characters. The dialog was like real people communicating, and not just machines. You gave true life in you're descriptions, which some horrified me. However, in some places, sentences seem to run on. Other then that, Good work, and God bless.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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This story was scary. However, it was excellent to read. You presented it well, although "Sunset," is one word. You gave life to all the characters. The dialog was like real people communicating, and not just machines. You gave true life in you're descriptions, which some horrified me. However, in some places, sentences seem to run on. Other then that, Good work, and God bless.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much, Lysa. I appreciate your kind comments. I think the sentence you're referring to is near the very beginning. Chelsea says the portrait changes once "the" sun set. Key word being "the" here. If I had written...of a little girl who would transform into something far more sinister after sunset, then you would be correct. In this case, however, "sun" and "set" are two separate words.
"It concerned a frightening painting of a little girl who would transform into something far more sinister once the sun set."
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi the author,
Nope, I won't be buying anything like this painting, unless to feed it to a bonfire. I learned a long time ago not to mess around with things we don't understand, and 'paranormal' is one of them. Something like this painting happens - I get rid of it.
Patrick
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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Hi the author,
Nope, I won't be buying anything like this painting, unless to feed it to a bonfire. I learned a long time ago not to mess around with things we don't understand, and 'paranormal' is one of them. Something like this painting happens - I get rid of it.
Patrick
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Thanks, Patrick. As far as I know, Mom did throw it out, or it wound up in one of her yard sales. I haven't seen it on any of my visits home since, nor do I care to even ask about it.
Thanks for an awesome review.
Comment from 24chas
This was really a great read. The pacing was terrific as was the narration. It gave me goosebumps and it's the middle of the afternoon. Great job and good luck.
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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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This was really a great read. The pacing was terrific as was the narration. It gave me goosebumps and it's the middle of the afternoon. Great job and good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Thank you, chas. I really appreciate the kind comments.
