Shall I compare thee...
A cooler version of Shakespeare's Sonnet 1845 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
I had to wait till Sunday to review this, because there was no way I was going to give you a virtual six!
This is terrifically done! I love this black and white pairing!
(and I have to admit, I love seeing the traditional "love" sonnet turned on its head LOL - I find the "anti-love" sonnet much more contemporary in terms of "theme")
I was immediately seduced by the opening two lines, and you did not let me down all the way through to the final couplet.
From "more frigid and more icy cold" to "lips vermillion" I was totally hypnotized.
Not only have you masterfully "mimicked" Shakespeare's most famous sonnet, you have put a new twist on it that is deliciously done!
Truly, seriously, unequivocally - BRAVO!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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I had to wait till Sunday to review this, because there was no way I was going to give you a virtual six!
This is terrifically done! I love this black and white pairing!
(and I have to admit, I love seeing the traditional "love" sonnet turned on its head LOL - I find the "anti-love" sonnet much more contemporary in terms of "theme")
I was immediately seduced by the opening two lines, and you did not let me down all the way through to the final couplet.
From "more frigid and more icy cold" to "lips vermillion" I was totally hypnotized.
Not only have you masterfully "mimicked" Shakespeare's most famous sonnet, you have put a new twist on it that is deliciously done!
Truly, seriously, unequivocally - BRAVO!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for this, Leineco! What a lovely review. I am basking in it! How kind of you to delay so that you could give me 6 stars for my poem. Very much appreciated.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Tony, this is a fine entry for the contest, although the hint of borrowing may possibly count against you in the judges' eyes.
For me, because you only use a couple of small phrases from the original and also turn the whole thing on its head in an inventive and imaginative manner, it's good as gold - not fools' gold either.
Fine sonnet form, some sweeping imagery (Small ghosts of falsehood grey against the moon/Those harlot words, like lips vermillion,
Have kissed the wind)
best of luck - this is a tough contest.
Steve
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Tony, this is a fine entry for the contest, although the hint of borrowing may possibly count against you in the judges' eyes.
For me, because you only use a couple of small phrases from the original and also turn the whole thing on its head in an inventive and imaginative manner, it's good as gold - not fools' gold either.
Fine sonnet form, some sweeping imagery (Small ghosts of falsehood grey against the moon/Those harlot words, like lips vermillion,
Have kissed the wind)
best of luck - this is a tough contest.
Steve
Comment Written 16-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thanks very much for this review, Steve. Very kind words and much appreciated stars!
Comment from Liandra
Words that fit well with a terrible winters night and the torture of deceit. The artwork is amazing and compliments your words of sadness. Quite emotional.
regards
Liandra
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Words that fit well with a terrible winters night and the torture of deceit. The artwork is amazing and compliments your words of sadness. Quite emotional.
regards
Liandra
Comment Written 16-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Many thanks for your kind review, Liandra. The torture of deceit - what an apt turn of phrase!
Comment from Jacq77
Oh, I only wish I had a six left to give you for this brilliant sonnet. I'm sure even Shakespeare would pat you on the back for this one. Every line you shot at your frigid, ice cold lover was a perfect choice of words. I could not pick which line I like best, as they are all so cleverly thought out. Superbly written, loved it!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Oh, I only wish I had a six left to give you for this brilliant sonnet. I'm sure even Shakespeare would pat you on the back for this one. Every line you shot at your frigid, ice cold lover was a perfect choice of words. I could not pick which line I like best, as they are all so cleverly thought out. Superbly written, loved it!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for these very kind words, Jacq, which are worth more than any number of stars! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from His Grayness
tfacus; I'm ashamed to not have a six for this very rare and excellent work of the classic style. You are certainly a master of the art and I really enjoyed this ! Vance
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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tfacus; I'm ashamed to not have a six for this very rare and excellent work of the classic style. You are certainly a master of the art and I really enjoyed this ! Vance
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for these very kind words, Vance, which are worth more than any number of stars! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Just Pete
Wow! Never the Bard should write of greaterr things, nor could any man write in more eloquent phrase, for dreams and thoughts will ever dwell in minds of men. This is most impressive and something that Shakespeare himself would have been proud to write.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Wow! Never the Bard should write of greaterr things, nor could any man write in more eloquent phrase, for dreams and thoughts will ever dwell in minds of men. This is most impressive and something that Shakespeare himself would have been proud to write.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for these very kind words, Pete, and the 6-star rating, which is much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, tfawcus, you did an excellent job writing this sonnet about the cold heart that didn't keep promises made. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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this is very well written, tfawcus, you did an excellent job writing this sonnet about the cold heart that didn't keep promises made. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for these very kind words, Sweetwoodjax. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from amahra
The art work so complimented the poem that I had to go back up to see it again before talking about it. I loved your word choice of your poem, it really did sound like a Shakespearean piece.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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The art work so complimented the poem that I had to go back up to see it again before talking about it. I loved your word choice of your poem, it really did sound like a Shakespearean piece.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for these very kind words, Amahra. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from janalma
This is funny. So like and unlike Shakespeare's. The poor fellow really got the cold shoulder at last, eh? I'm sorry to tell him that I grinned thru this. You really got into the classy wording here. Good one.
Because their fine display is pyrite gold,
As were the promises you made of love;
Especially liked these lines. Very clever way of calling her a liar.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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This is funny. So like and unlike Shakespeare's. The poor fellow really got the cold shoulder at last, eh? I'm sorry to tell him that I grinned thru this. You really got into the classy wording here. Good one.
Because their fine display is pyrite gold,
As were the promises you made of love;
Especially liked these lines. Very clever way of calling her a liar.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for these very kind words, Janalma. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from mfowler
You are welcome to my six stars, Tony. I reckon that I am starting to understand your scope and skill as a poet better as time rolls on. This makes the bard's look nice, but yours is injected with some lovely humour and vitriol which outpoint the original by my measure. He would never have done it in a sonnet (quite poetic that last sentence?). I love how you make this woman sound so shocking, but the archaic language seems to soften the blow and make it sound almost 'faux romantic'.
Shall I compare thee to a winter's eve?....now Shaespeare would have been proud of that little opener. If I was the woman, I'd say a resounding NO. But since I'm not, you get to write 13 more lines of lyrical character assassination.
Thou art more frigid and more icy cold: now that backs up the metaphor with a little nastiness.
Small ghosts of falsehood grey against the moon: oh what a pretty way to say she was a bloody liar!
Those harlot words, like lips vermillion: loved this line; she is a whore with red lipstick, but so beautifully put.
I hope you do well in this contest. I think it's brought out the light and dark side of your 'sonnetry'.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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You are welcome to my six stars, Tony. I reckon that I am starting to understand your scope and skill as a poet better as time rolls on. This makes the bard's look nice, but yours is injected with some lovely humour and vitriol which outpoint the original by my measure. He would never have done it in a sonnet (quite poetic that last sentence?). I love how you make this woman sound so shocking, but the archaic language seems to soften the blow and make it sound almost 'faux romantic'.
Shall I compare thee to a winter's eve?....now Shaespeare would have been proud of that little opener. If I was the woman, I'd say a resounding NO. But since I'm not, you get to write 13 more lines of lyrical character assassination.
Thou art more frigid and more icy cold: now that backs up the metaphor with a little nastiness.
Small ghosts of falsehood grey against the moon: oh what a pretty way to say she was a bloody liar!
Those harlot words, like lips vermillion: loved this line; she is a whore with red lipstick, but so beautifully put.
I hope you do well in this contest. I think it's brought out the light and dark side of your 'sonnetry'.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thanks for another in-depth reading and response to my poetry. I do appreciate the time and effort it takes and am most grateful. Picking out the parts that you liked best is always useful as it tells the poet which parts are striking a chord in the reader. The six stars are the icing on the cake! Thank you for those too!
Best wishes, Tony
