Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Romance & Stealth"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
18 total reviews
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, this is a strong installment that opens up some intriguing possibilities. The sage Ma has just given the couple a golden egg, so no worries n the dragon's. LOL The new information of being high up in order to survey below is a great military strategy. Relocation may very well be necessary or there will be more bloodshed. They could be a neighboring ally with the Clampetts but far enough away that the turf doesn't shrink. A form of signaling to each camp might have to be established for warnings. If the stealth bombers are friendly, then this is definitely a plus. They may be renegades under no orders from the government, but do have to have jet fuel to fly continuously. If there has been and alien invasion, they may also be at risk. If unfriendly, then it's time to hit the caves to keep infra-red detectors at bay, otherwise they are sitting ducks. Just needs a question mark here, "How could he have that same dream." Good plot direction. :0 GracieAnn
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Mikey, this is a strong installment that opens up some intriguing possibilities. The sage Ma has just given the couple a golden egg, so no worries n the dragon's. LOL The new information of being high up in order to survey below is a great military strategy. Relocation may very well be necessary or there will be more bloodshed. They could be a neighboring ally with the Clampetts but far enough away that the turf doesn't shrink. A form of signaling to each camp might have to be established for warnings. If the stealth bombers are friendly, then this is definitely a plus. They may be renegades under no orders from the government, but do have to have jet fuel to fly continuously. If there has been and alien invasion, they may also be at risk. If unfriendly, then it's time to hit the caves to keep infra-red detectors at bay, otherwise they are sitting ducks. Just needs a question mark here, "How could he have that same dream." Good plot direction. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from Petriesan
"You're the hairiest chick I've ever slept with Johnny." - cracked me up.
Now, meddling: This - It was that crazy infectious laughter that was impossible to resist
I think is better thusly (thusly" Gees, whatever) - That crazy infectious laughter, impossible to resist
Nice chapter
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"You're the hairiest chick I've ever slept with Johnny." - cracked me up.
Now, meddling: This - It was that crazy infectious laughter that was impossible to resist
I think is better thusly (thusly" Gees, whatever) - That crazy infectious laughter, impossible to resist
Nice chapter
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
This really seems more directional than the last chapter did. The relationship between Christine and Johnny is an interesting side-story. The dreams are becoming a little more believable as a part of the plot; not sure where you're going with them, but it is intriguing.
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This really seems more directional than the last chapter did. The relationship between Christine and Johnny is an interesting side-story. The dreams are becoming a little more believable as a part of the plot; not sure where you're going with them, but it is intriguing.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Mikey.
This is a well done chapter. You've used lot's of dialogue and done so well, making it flow between characters. I like the connection of the dream, something shared. You're doing well with the story.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
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Hi, Mikey.
This is a well done chapter. You've used lot's of dialogue and done so well, making it flow between characters. I like the connection of the dream, something shared. You're doing well with the story.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from Nosha17
But it has continuity, so the transition must have been good. I like the interplay between the main characters, amusing and well written. I like the way you called them the Clampetts! Enjoyable chapter. Faye
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But it has continuity, so the transition must have been good. I like the interplay between the main characters, amusing and well written. I like the way you called them the Clampetts! Enjoyable chapter. Faye
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from ragamuffin
Glad to see this group was one of the "nice ones." The dream idea is a good one. Curious and anxious to see where it all leads. The conflict within the government about whether to worry about the massive average joes or not is interesting. It would be nice if true compassion would eventually win out, but not likely to happen 4 stealth jets flying overhead. The relationship between Johnny and Christine is an interesting one. Seems like a lot of relationships- at the right time, at the right place, during different circumstances, could've been a great romance... at least for one.
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Glad to see this group was one of the "nice ones." The dream idea is a good one. Curious and anxious to see where it all leads. The conflict within the government about whether to worry about the massive average joes or not is interesting. It would be nice if true compassion would eventually win out, but not likely to happen 4 stealth jets flying overhead. The relationship between Johnny and Christine is an interesting one. Seems like a lot of relationships- at the right time, at the right place, during different circumstances, could've been a great romance... at least for one.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from seaglass
I can't think of any suggestions. It seems to be developing its own life. I love how that happens. Every story needs a bit of romance and this was nice. You have a good touch of wading into it in a natural way.
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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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I can't think of any suggestions. It seems to be developing its own life. I love how that happens. Every story needs a bit of romance and this was nice. You have a good touch of wading into it in a natural way.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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Some of it little bits and pieces from past experiences. Flying blind now, just the way I like it. Yee Haw!!! mikey
Comment from Sankey
S0ome interesting comments must be coming in. Very good so far. Can't decide if Ma and her troup are good medicine or not. One little spag is all...that was literally hop(p)ing up and down as he spoke
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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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S0ome interesting comments must be coming in. Very good so far. Can't decide if Ma and her troup are good medicine or not. One little spag is all...that was literally hop(p)ing up and down as he spoke
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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I think I'm going to keep them good. Hillbillies get a bad rap it seems. There has to be some good ones! Waiting to see what folks think. I passed the point where the original story ended. So, I am flying blind again. Hahaha. mikey
