our haijin rests
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "tanka (mourning the loss)"In Remembrance of Alvin T. Ethington
27 total reviews
Comment from RGstar
A nicer gesture , Debbie. I did not know the humble an, but I share your sadness.
A lovely image and a nice sentiment.
Best wishes,
Have a great day under the circumstances.
RG
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
  |
A nicer gesture , Debbie. I did not know the humble an, but I share your sadness.
A lovely image and a nice sentiment.
Best wishes,
Have a great day under the circumstances.
RG
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
-
He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from GracieAnn
DJ, isn't a tanka supposed to have a 5-7-5 syllable count of no more than 17 syllables and three lines. If it were a double then that might work. You might want to check on this. It is an honorable tribute to one who is so respected. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
|
DJ, isn't a tanka supposed to have a 5-7-5 syllable count of no more than 17 syllables and three lines. If it were a double then that might work. You might want to check on this. It is an honorable tribute to one who is so respected. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
-
I am including what a standard English tanka is and this is the way Alvin taught us to do it:The Form of Tanka in English There are some English-language tanka writers who adhere to a thirty-one syllable form, but most use fewer than 31 syllables, divided into five lines that sometimes use a short-long-short-long-long pattern, and sometimes use other patterns according to the needs of the poem. The reason for this arises mainly from differences in the Japanese and English languages, including vast differences in the number of syllables used to express the same idea, and, perhaps most importantly, the essential stressed and unstressed pronunciation of syllables in English, which is not found in Japanese syllabic units and which in English makes a strict syllable count less meaningful than meter. Often, tanka in English that are forced to thirty-one syllables will be overloaded with images or will stretch the poem beyond the ?moment in time? that is the most important element of a tanka. That is not to say, of course, that some English-language tanka may require exactly thirty-one syllables, or even a few more than that. American Tanka welcomes well-crafted five-line submissions of any syllabic length that are true to the purpose and spirit of the tanka form. (For a far more comprehensive discussion of tanka mechanics, see again Michael McClintock?s Introduction to The Tanka Anthology, Red Moon Press, 2003.) haiku are 5-7-5, but can also be less. This is what Alvin taught in his delightful classes. He will be missed~Debbie
-
I am including what a standard English tanka is and this is the way Alvin taught us to do it:The Form of Tanka in English There are some English-language tanka writers who adhere to a thirty-one syllable form, but most use fewer than 31 syllables, divided into five lines that sometimes use a short-long-short-long-long pattern, and sometimes use other patterns according to the needs of the poem. The reason for this arises mainly from differences in the Japanese and English languages, including vast differences in the number of syllables used to express the same idea, and, perhaps most importantly, the essential stressed and unstressed pronunciation of syllables in English, which is not found in Japanese syllabic units and which in English makes a strict syllable count less meaningful than meter. Often, tanka in English that are forced to thirty-one syllables will be overloaded with images or will stretch the poem beyond the ?moment in time? that is the most important element of a tanka. That is not to say, of course, that some English-language tanka may require exactly thirty-one syllables, or even a few more than that. American Tanka welcomes well-crafted five-line submissions of any syllabic length that are true to the purpose and spirit of the tanka form. (For a far more comprehensive discussion of tanka mechanics, see again Michael McClintock?s Introduction to The Tanka Anthology, Red Moon Press, 2003.)
-
Oh, my. Debbie, thank you for taking the time to tell me of my mistaken information. I did not have the privilege of learning from Alvin, and it shows. I apologize for this, and I changed the rating to a five and I hope this is reflected properly. I appreciate your willingness to explain the differences. I will have to try one now. Thank you for enlightening me! Now the student becomes the teacher-you carry on his legacy well. :0 GracieAnn
-
Thank you. Before Alvin's classes, I knew next to nothing about Japanese forms. He will truly be missed~Debbie
Comment from juliaSjames
A tanka that glows with truth and a fitting tribute to our dear Teach.
It seems strange that I can no longer plan to take a class with him. I recall, with fondness,his enthusiasm during the haibun class and how highly he praised our work.
Suggest you start the pivot line with "he" instead of "who" to enhance the impact of your beautifully worded tanka.
peace and blessings to you, debbie.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
|
A tanka that glows with truth and a fitting tribute to our dear Teach.
It seems strange that I can no longer plan to take a class with him. I recall, with fondness,his enthusiasm during the haibun class and how highly he praised our work.
Suggest you start the pivot line with "he" instead of "who" to enhance the impact of your beautifully worded tanka.
peace and blessings to you, debbie.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
-
He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Just2Write
You are so right. Both FS and all its members will miss Alvin, for he touched many of us in a profound way.
Even those who did not know him have benefited from those who did. Lovely write.
rose.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
|
You are so right. Both FS and all its members will miss Alvin, for he touched many of us in a profound way.
Even those who did not know him have benefited from those who did. Lovely write.
rose.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
-
He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Gungalo
mourning the loss
of a talented poet
who thrived teaching students
and gave us courage to submit
works for publication
Yes he will Debbie and a wonderful write to remember Al well. SIgh such a beautiful poem.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
|
mourning the loss
of a talented poet
who thrived teaching students
and gave us courage to submit
works for publication
Yes he will Debbie and a wonderful write to remember Al well. SIgh such a beautiful poem.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
-
He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
-
Sigh.
Comment from Kingsland
This is a fine tribute to a very fine poet and over all good man. I found this poem to be well written. It was my pleasure to have read and written this response for... John
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
|
This is a fine tribute to a very fine poet and over all good man. I found this poem to be well written. It was my pleasure to have read and written this response for... John
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
-
He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Righteous Riter
The photo fits this piece well as the words bring the photo to life. This piece contains a message that describes a good man, friend and instructor that helped so many writers gain skill and courage. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
|
The photo fits this piece well as the words bring the photo to life. This piece contains a message that describes a good man, friend and instructor that helped so many writers gain skill and courage. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
-
He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Sylvia Page
Debbie, what a wonderful tanka to honour a fine man who loved teaching. Losing Alvin is a great blow to all Fanstorians. Very well composed. May his soul rest in peace.
Sadly missed
Sylvia
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
|
Debbie, what a wonderful tanka to honour a fine man who loved teaching. Losing Alvin is a great blow to all Fanstorians. Very well composed. May his soul rest in peace.
Sadly missed
Sylvia
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
-
He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Debbie - a lovely tribute to Alvin - graceful and tender - A great work to read and one I think he would love too.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
|
Dear Debbie - a lovely tribute to Alvin - graceful and tender - A great work to read and one I think he would love too.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
-
He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Visheshta Dahiya
a lovely poem.
it is a great tribute with the use of touching and apt words.
the description of the teacher is given very well.
best wishes
Visheshta
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
|
a lovely poem.
it is a great tribute with the use of touching and apt words.
the description of the teacher is given very well.
best wishes
Visheshta
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
-
He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
-
:)
