our haijin rests
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "tanka (mourning the loss)"In Remembrance of Alvin T. Ethington
27 total reviews
Comment from mumsyone
mourning the loss
of a talented poet
who thrived teaching students
and gave us courage to submit
works for publication
Hi Debbie,
Sorry it's taken me so long to review your contribution to Alvin's Guest Book. I've been putting together a book of all of our poems, for Sue to take to his memorial. thanks for adding a poem to the book.
Hugs,
Lois
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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mourning the loss
of a talented poet
who thrived teaching students
and gave us courage to submit
works for publication
Hi Debbie,
Sorry it's taken me so long to review your contribution to Alvin's Guest Book. I've been putting together a book of all of our poems, for Sue to take to his memorial. thanks for adding a poem to the book.
Hugs,
Lois
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Gloria ....
Nicely written, Deb. I too was a student of Alvin's and was impressed with his ability to cut to the chase with remarkable speed and skill. I miss him very much and am only grateful that I had the opportunity to know a little of him, if only for a very short period of time.
Very lovely tribute.
Gloria
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Nicely written, Deb. I too was a student of Alvin's and was impressed with his ability to cut to the chase with remarkable speed and skill. I miss him very much and am only grateful that I had the opportunity to know a little of him, if only for a very short period of time.
Very lovely tribute.
Gloria
Comment Written 09-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from manicblue
hi Debbie,
I hope you're doing well. I was so surprised to hear about Alvin. He had many fans and many more talented students due to his writing skills.
The only thing I noticed was a tanka is 5/7/5/7/7 and yours is 4/7/6/8/6, but I don't know much about them.
Please take care.
Lucretia xoxo
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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hi Debbie,
I hope you're doing well. I was so surprised to hear about Alvin. He had many fans and many more talented students due to his writing skills.
The only thing I noticed was a tanka is 5/7/5/7/7 and yours is 4/7/6/8/6, but I don't know much about them.
Please take care.
Lucretia xoxo
Comment Written 08-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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American tankas are not required to be 31 syllables, and most good writers make them much shorter.
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Tanka defined: The Form of Tanka in English There are some English-language tanka writers who adhere to a thirty-one syllable form, but most use fewer than 31 syllables, divided into five lines that sometimes use a short-long-short-long-long pattern, and sometimes use other patterns according to the needs of the poem. The reason for this arises mainly from differences in the Japanese and English languages, including vast differences in the number of syllables used to express the same idea, and, perhaps most importantly, the essential stressed and unstressed pronunciation of syllables in English, which is not found in Japanese syllabic units and which in English makes a strict syllable count less meaningful than meter. Often, tanka in English that are forced to thirty-one syllables will be overloaded with images or will stretch the poem beyond the ?moment in time? that is the most important element of a tanka. That is not to say, of course, that some English-language tanka may require exactly thirty-one syllables, or even a few more than that. American Tanka welcomes well-crafted five-line submissions of any syllabic length that are true to the purpose and spirit of the tanka form. (For a far more comprehensive discussion of tanka mechanics, see again Michael McClintock?s Introduction to The Tanka Anthology, Red Moon Press, 2003.)
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Thanks for the explanation. I added this to my "How To" file (it's getting extensive!). It said similar but this provides more detail about the syllable count. This is what I have (don't remember where I got it.)
The 5/7/5 is called the kami-no-ku ("upper phrase") is written haiki-like, and the 7/7 is called the shimo-no-ku ("lower phrase") and contain an emotional element.
Traditional tanka does not require a strict syllable count of 5-7-5-7-7 and actually admires brevity.
In tanka, the first three lines are haiku-like in that the first two lines are grammatically connected forming a concrete image while the third offers a satori, or moment of insight. Punctuation and capitalization are used only when absolutely necessary.
The first two lines form a concrete image while the third offers a moment of insight. The third line also serves as a pivot line that ends the thought of the first two lines while beginning the thought of the last two lines.
In tanka, meaning is usually derived from the interplay of a nature element and an emotional element. The nature element usually dominates the first three lines, and the emotional somehow infuses the final two lines. Additionally, the last two lines serve as a commentary, or reflective thought, of the first three lines.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm not a poet but Alvin touched my life and I know he'll be missed greatly. Thank you for sharing is beautiful tribute with us.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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I'm not a poet but Alvin touched my life and I know he'll be missed greatly. Thank you for sharing is beautiful tribute with us.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
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He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Deb. Very nice tribute to Alvin here. So few words yet he would have appreciated it, I'm sure. I knew Alvin ever since he had come aboard shortly after I did. I will miss him also. Bob
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Hi, Deb. Very nice tribute to Alvin here. So few words yet he would have appreciated it, I'm sure. I knew Alvin ever since he had come aboard shortly after I did. I will miss him also. Bob
Comment Written 08-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Jean Lutz
Your tanka captures Alvin. May the word seeds he planted in each of his students now take root and grow in abundance. He will be missed.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Your tanka captures Alvin. May the word seeds he planted in each of his students now take root and grow in abundance. He will be missed.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Debbie,
some people just belong in the hearts of others... whist I never knew Alvin, your words gave the true meaning of a generous soul.
R.I.P. Alvin, sorry I never had the pleasure.
With our thoughts we create,
the words to say,
James xx
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Hi Debbie,
some people just belong in the hearts of others... whist I never knew Alvin, your words gave the true meaning of a generous soul.
R.I.P. Alvin, sorry I never had the pleasure.
With our thoughts we create,
the words to say,
James xx
Comment Written 08-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from krys123
An excellent laudation, tribute and recognition to a man who gave more of himself to everyone else including his students then maybe he even gave to himself. I really like your poem very much. And I myself feel the same way. Thank you so much for sharing and posting this work for everyone he may you find it always have peace forever.
Alex
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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An excellent laudation, tribute and recognition to a man who gave more of himself to everyone else including his students then maybe he even gave to himself. I really like your poem very much. And I myself feel the same way. Thank you so much for sharing and posting this work for everyone he may you find it always have peace forever.
Alex
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from adewpearl
Debbie, a most thoughtful tribute to your teacher in good tanka format
you convey well the genuine sense of loss so many of his students are feeling as you express well how much his encouragement meant to you
Brooke
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Debbie, a most thoughtful tribute to your teacher in good tanka format
you convey well the genuine sense of loss so many of his students are feeling as you express well how much his encouragement meant to you
Brooke
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
Comment from Taffspride
Nicely written tribute Debbie, i particularly like your last two lines. Alvin always encouraged us to submit our work for publication.
He will be greatly missed by so many.
Thank you for sharing.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Nicely written tribute Debbie, i particularly like your last two lines. Alvin always encouraged us to submit our work for publication.
He will be greatly missed by so many.
Thank you for sharing.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 07-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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He touched so many of us, a true and kind fiend. He will be missed~Debbie
