Expectations
Always doing what others want2 total reviews
Comment from Patricia0129
You have the rhyme going. Although It feel too repetitive with repeat line
I would suggest grouping it :
Did I let you down?
Wearing a wilting crown
Ideas dust the ground
When I didn't come around
Did I let you down?
Running from this town
Settling with the wrong crowd
Pretty, pretty plan fall down. (And so on... putting differences, cheating and The lack of trust in the last stanza.) I still like the piece It would read with more impact to me grouped.
   |
You have the rhyme going. Although It feel too repetitive with repeat line
I would suggest grouping it :
Did I let you down?
Wearing a wilting crown
Ideas dust the ground
When I didn't come around
Did I let you down?
Running from this town
Settling with the wrong crowd
Pretty, pretty plan fall down. (And so on... putting differences, cheating and The lack of trust in the last stanza.) I still like the piece It would read with more impact to me grouped.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
Comment from krys123
A simple and repetitive poem that has increased fervor as it is being read. Truly one showing creativity and ingenuity in writing this beautiful work. Thank you so much for sharing and posting your work for everyone and may you and yours always find peace.
Alex
|
A simple and repetitive poem that has increased fervor as it is being read. Truly one showing creativity and ingenuity in writing this beautiful work. Thank you so much for sharing and posting your work for everyone and may you and yours always find peace.
Alex
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
