Comment from Lovinia

Excellent

Hi Dear Aggie

What a shame to be in touch for such a sad reason. Dear Alvin ... so young and such a shock. It is lovely to see so many of his students offering tribute ..... he was a true gentle man, a wonderful teacher and mentor. Always had time for a student or a friend. I planned a feast of his classes this year ... and alas I will miss him so much.

A spectacular magnolia in your presentation .... it would have reminded him of home. He suffered greatly in his life, he laughed and had a quick witted sense of humour. i love how he supported, guided and contributed so much to our book. We have all lost a special friend. A lovely tribute extended in your notes to share the part of him you knew. Huge hugs - Lovi xoxoxo

Keep safe and well. :)))

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014

Thank you, dear Lovi, for your most kind and thoughtful review on this small poem written in memory of Alvin. Indeed he will be missed. He was always so ready to help others in any way he could. If I remember correctly, his classes were the original incentive that inspired the idea Sue conceived for writing our book. I took several classes from him and in the final one (religious texts) I was his only student and he taught me one on one and spent many hours helping me (even though he was ill at the time) to understand how poetry laces through all religious texts. A really outstanding and unselfish service which deeply impressed and encouraged me. Yes, I agree... he knew a lot of suffering in his life, but in a sense, this was the very thing that brought depth into his writing. I suppose this is so for most of us? It was lovely hearing from you. I hope all goes well for you and that each day brings you sunshine and joy.
Luvs, Aggie

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

excellent use of abcb rhyme with a closing couplet
I just love your opening line
nice alliteration in helping hand
and legacy of love
I also love "heart's own gentle muse"
a heartfelt farewell to your teacher
Brooke

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014

Thank you, dear Pearly One, for your positive support for the memorial poem I wrote in the collective book which so many have helped write in memory of Alvin. He will indeed be missed. Such a talented teacher and writer... and a kind and good friend to a lot of people, for sure. Hugs, Aggie (W ^-^)

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

A wonderful, well rhymed tribute for our dear Alvin. Great flow and beautiful presentation. A lovely addition to this book.

Love the opening line:
He lingered in Imagination's Field


Nice phrasing here too but note that the scansion is forced on highways:
along life's lowly paths and steep highways

Poetic license permits it, but I suggest a slight alteration to make it work:

high ways as two words would fit in fine.

*consider replacing at least one HE here with AND:

He loaned a helping hand to those in need
He taught with zeal respecting other's views
He kept his word with keen integrity

LOVE this line:
and listened to his heart's own gentle muse

Superb content in the closing couplet and love the consonance and alliteration of L:

A legacy of love he leaves behind
sweet gleanings from a brilliant, caring mind

Especially love the closing line...so sweet!

RIP, Alvin.

Love,
rd

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Hello rd,
What a lovely review you sent! I do sincerely thank you for it.
Your thoughtful suggestions helped me to switch the poem around a bit. It was a privilege for me to get to know Alvin via FS. He always treated me fairly and in the last class I took from him, Religious Texts, I turned up as his only student. Although I offered to go into another class he said he would teach me one on one and it was one of the most helpful poetry classes ever. During the course, I learned what a brilliant and generous individual he was. Even though he was unwell at the time, he found many hours to spend online with me. One does not forget such kindness. Yes, indeed, may he rest in peace. Sending love, blessings, and gratitude, Aggie

reply by rama devi on 11-Mar-2014

Thanks for your lovely rply, dear Aggie. How wonderful you had a one-on-one class with Alvin. I sense he had as much or even more passion for religious texts as he did for Japanese short forms. What a blessing for you! :)

Love, blessings an gratitude to you too...Hugs, rd

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Sounds like a great tribute to a dear admired friend! Good flow to this glowing honour to a special human being. The narrative was smooth, Occasional rhyme, but that didn't matter much! good job. Well done, Roy.

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 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014

Hello roy,
Belated but sincere thanks for the excellent review you sent on my memorial poem. Much appreciate your kind remarks.
Warmly, W ^-^

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

hey, whiz, this is beautiful. what happened to alvin? i've been off site for three days and haven't heard anything. this is the second poem i've seen in memory of him

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 Comment Written 06-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014

Thanks, dear swj, for your lovely review. Sadly, Alvin passed away a couple of days ago. He was in his mid fifties so it was a short lifetime. He will be greatly missed. I took several of his classes and he was a wonderful and very knowledgable and kind teacher. It seemed like I knew him quite well even though I never met him in person. Hugs, Aggie (W ^-^)