Immortalized
An Ekphrastic Poem in iambic pentameter52 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Fabulous, fabulous! I felt this one deeply, and would have bought the sculpture too - this poem speaks to the soul of an artist, in my opinion, as does the artwork itself. Everything about it is intense and very, very beautiful, David. My last six for this masterpiece - I can't help myself!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
  |
Fabulous, fabulous! I felt this one deeply, and would have bought the sculpture too - this poem speaks to the soul of an artist, in my opinion, as does the artwork itself. Everything about it is intense and very, very beautiful, David. My last six for this masterpiece - I can't help myself!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
-
So sweet, my friend. Thank you SO much for that. I really love that piece, and it sits on the table next to my writing chair, so it's always there in my creative moments. I appreciate that sixer, Dawn.
-
It was my pleasure.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Combining / craftsmanship Love the hard 'c's
vulnerability, Love 6 syllable words
A bronzed/ brittle heart, 'b' alliteration
This paralyzed immortal on one knee. Great line
Of doubting /decision Love the hard 'd's
despondent " " " "
godless/disaster.
pay/penance Love the p's
To reign in ash and flames forevermore? Great image
LOVE this verse:
With patron verve, I wondered if his eyes
Were set obscurely, wet with tears, or closed--
And if, defiantly, he'd somehow rise
Above the place he was forever posed--
His form/fated The hard f's
Perhaps in prayer, Alliteratives
Or burdened by the WEIGHT of God's demands.
Burden suggests weight...just a suggestion
Excellent all round.
Regards:
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
|
Combining / craftsmanship Love the hard 'c's
vulnerability, Love 6 syllable words
A bronzed/ brittle heart, 'b' alliteration
This paralyzed immortal on one knee. Great line
Of doubting /decision Love the hard 'd's
despondent " " " "
godless/disaster.
pay/penance Love the p's
To reign in ash and flames forevermore? Great image
LOVE this verse:
With patron verve, I wondered if his eyes
Were set obscurely, wet with tears, or closed--
And if, defiantly, he'd somehow rise
Above the place he was forever posed--
His form/fated The hard f's
Perhaps in prayer, Alliteratives
Or burdened by the WEIGHT of God's demands.
Burden suggests weight...just a suggestion
Excellent all round.
Regards:
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
-
Hi Stephen. Many thanks, my friend, for your detailed and on-point review, as well as that sixer. I actually had 'weight' there, too, but I have an affectation for the word, Freight, which means the same thing in an archaic sense, but I wouldn't be surprised if it become 'weight' again.
Comment from ragamuffin
My take on the statue is that it's a position of submission and humbleness, but good art will have folks coming at it from different positions. What I really love about your poem is that it seems that much thought and pondering has gone into it. Well written and very enjoyable. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
 |
My take on the statue is that it's a position of submission and humbleness, but good art will have folks coming at it from different positions. What I really love about your poem is that it seems that much thought and pondering has gone into it. Well written and very enjoyable. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
-
Thank you so much, ragamuffin. That's one thing I love about it, is it's openness to many interpretations. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from boxergirl
Good job with the ekphrastic poem. A new word for me by the way. The sad tone is set from the first line with "I found him lonely..." and the images you give within the scenarios of explaining his dejection are strong. I enjoyed it very much. 8-)
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
|
Good job with the ekphrastic poem. A new word for me by the way. The sad tone is set from the first line with "I found him lonely..." and the images you give within the scenarios of explaining his dejection are strong. I enjoyed it very much. 8-)
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
-
Thank you so much, boxer girl. I appreciate it!
Comment from Ekim777
It's always risky to combine mediums but this poem succeeds splendidly. A statue emulating the tragedy of all human beings well wrought in stone with the sensitive touch of the sculptor now inspired the poet to express the same and the substance of the work is language. Both pieces express the vanity of life and yet they exult in it. I am intrigued by the use of the word, freight. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
|
It's always risky to combine mediums but this poem succeeds splendidly. A statue emulating the tragedy of all human beings well wrought in stone with the sensitive touch of the sculptor now inspired the poet to express the same and the substance of the work is language. Both pieces express the vanity of life and yet they exult in it. I am intrigued by the use of the word, freight. -Ekim777
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
-
Thank you so much, Ekim. I've been looking at this piece for so long I had to write a poem about it. I really appreciate the sixer and your insightful review. The word 'freight' , used in this sense, is the archaic use, meaning more or less the same as weight, but I like the connotation that he's carrying God's freight.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I would say he is the fallen angel! So ashamed he is cowering before god. Your poem is in perfect pentameter as always with feminine endings in master and disaster. Wonderful! I finally 'Got' what a feminine ending is.. LOL You wrote a perfect poem for the sculpture. Nancy
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
|
I would say he is the fallen angel! So ashamed he is cowering before god. Your poem is in perfect pentameter as always with feminine endings in master and disaster. Wonderful! I finally 'Got' what a feminine ending is.. LOL You wrote a perfect poem for the sculpture. Nancy
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
-
I agree, Nancy! Thank you so much, my friend. I'm sorry, I thought I'd explained the feminine endings definition before.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Six good stanzas in perfect iambic pentameter with your usual feminine endings in Master/disaster. It reads well - if I had to guess I would say he is the fallen angel - Gabriel, Lucifer - he has many names. It's a good read and a nice statue. This word 'ekphrastic' is new to me - thank you David. It seems I wrote one recently. LOL. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
|
Six good stanzas in perfect iambic pentameter with your usual feminine endings in Master/disaster. It reads well - if I had to guess I would say he is the fallen angel - Gabriel, Lucifer - he has many names. It's a good read and a nice statue. This word 'ekphrastic' is new to me - thank you David. It seems I wrote one recently. LOL. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
-
Thank you very much, my friend. I really appreciate your great review, and I agree with you on it being Gabriel or Lucifer.
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
How many sixes can I give you this week? LOL Well you know I'd give every one of yours a six if I could. I think he is a fallen angel, regretting his decision. I think there are probably many of those out there, trying to find their way back into heaven. I love that sculpture and I love your different thoughts on it. Very well composed.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
|
How many sixes can I give you this week? LOL Well you know I'd give every one of yours a six if I could. I think he is a fallen angel, regretting his decision. I think there are probably many of those out there, trying to find their way back into heaven. I love that sculpture and I love your different thoughts on it. Very well composed.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
-
I never get tired of them, my friend, and I may owe you a love sonnet soon. Hope so, anyway. :) I agree with you on the fallen angel, too. Thanks so much for the sixer.
Comment from Acquired Taste
This is beautiful. I like your author notes about creating scenarios and identities for this muse. Have done the same thing.
This flowed nicely for me, but I more enjoyed your possible explanations for the way he is kneeling. Oh, it is a beautiful piece of sculpture and must be an amazing addition to your home.
AT=/
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
|
This is beautiful. I like your author notes about creating scenarios and identities for this muse. Have done the same thing.
This flowed nicely for me, but I more enjoyed your possible explanations for the way he is kneeling. Oh, it is a beautiful piece of sculpture and must be an amazing addition to your home.
AT=/
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
-
Thanks so much, AT. I love having something like this to inspire a poem.
Comment from A Jesterstear
****** Take a bow big M, That was a brilliant poem. Perfect iambic pentameter in the abab style. The subject matter was brilliantly written. If sculpted it will be stone, but also looks like it could be a bronze in the photograph? A real pleasure to read. AJ.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
|
****** Take a bow big M, That was a brilliant poem. Perfect iambic pentameter in the abab style. The subject matter was brilliantly written. If sculpted it will be stone, but also looks like it could be a bronze in the photograph? A real pleasure to read. AJ.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
-
Will do, my brother, and thank you so much for that virtual sixer. There are actually several different versions of this type of piece, some stone and some bronze.
